Does it offend you or bother when a friend or relative thinks that the person you're seeing is unattractive? If yes why so?

[Anonymous]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds attractive someone else could find ugly. This is just her opinion.

When I tried to make it work with my sons father, my aunt told me the same thing. She found him ugly and said I could do a lot better, but I found him attractive. I will admit, her opinion did bother me at the time, but I didn't let it change my feelings towards him or dictate our relationship. Unfortunately, despite her feelings of hatred towards him, her attitude changed towards me aswell.

I am just the type of person that, if someone makes me happy I will do what I want. I need to learn from my own mistakes.

Mine and my aunts relationship ended up falling apart mostly because of him and the fact that I didn't mold to what she wanted, but I didn't care. She once told me she would disown me if I stayed with him. I ended up telling her to go fk herself. I had had enough.

If your family loves you, they will be there and be supportive, no matter what. No family member should ever say that to you, regardless of their feelings towards your partner.

Sorry I'm getting kinda off topic, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if you love him, dont let the opinions of your family faze you. Follow your heart and do what you want. If you live for everyone else, you will become and stay very unhappy. Good luck.

[Sbgirl]

It kind of annoyed me but in the end it doesn't make any difference to the relationship. I remember when I first got together with my now-boyfriend, and my Mum first met him a couple of years ago at my birthday party. She generally wasn't approving of the relationship just because he was a bit older than me, but I genuinely don't think she would have approved of anyone as that is the way she is. My grandmother met him too and she liked him and told my Mum that he seemed very nice and was good-looking, to which my Mum just bluntly went: 'Well I don't think he's very good-looking!'
It annoyed me and I think it was more than about looks, it was the idea that she was maybe saying that I could do better and still didn't approve. In the end it doesn't really matter if you think someone else's partner is attractive because you aren't dating them and obviously they see something you don't.

[ZeussLightningBolt]

When I was in middle school my best friend would tell me all my crushes were gross and ugly, but I knew he was just saying that out of pure jealousy, because he wasn't as popular with the girls

My mom thought most of my crushes and girl friends were attractive.
My family mainly has an issue with her race/religion.
Do I give a shit? Not really, no.

But me and my mom don't like my cousin's wife
Me, my friends and my best friend's family didn't like his ex
And my dad's family doesn't like my mom.

This is actually quite normal here, to be disliked by your in laws.
From my personal experience however, these people are often correct.
But in the end all that matters is you're happy together, and there are more important things than looks.

[kinton98]

I find it incredibly disrespectful but it doesn't bother me. Most of my friends and family considered my ex to be unattractive and I was frequently interrogated by her friends as to why I wanted to be with her. Even her mother told me she initially doubted my intentions because we didn't seem like we fit, aesthetically. My problem is that I couldn't care less. While I now find her to be repulsive in her behaviour and mindset, I still defend her against detractors criticising her physical features, but I date who I date, and nobody's personal opinion on a partner could alter my own.

[Mamaof6]

So my uncle's wife, who's not good looking, asked if i married my husband just because he was a hard worker and had a good personality.. i took offense.. so me being me, i snapped back and asked "whyd did you marry him? He don't work and cheats on you" my husband does none of that and he's good looking. She shut up real quick. No one has a right to ask why or form an opinion of someone who don't care about them.. my husband calls her ugly all the time but i never tell her. Because what he thinks dont matter to them..

[mrfoox]

My friends all got much different taste than me in looks, so I won't take it badly if they don't find my partner attractive.
However what your aunt said and how she acted sounded very rude so if I got that kind of response... I would probably feel hurt

[serious]

Well, I have always been single and I am never going to date in my life and so this situation will never arise in my life.

However just for the purpose of answering your question, I would say NO, I wouldn't care what people or what my family members or my relatives would think about the person I am seeing. I only care about what I think, I would have total trust and confidence in decision making.

[btbc92]

Yes it does because it ain't their business. They need to mind their business. And of story. Just thank God they don't find them attractive, cuz that's just means that they won't screw them. Usually. Is there a pinion, they are entitled to their opinion. But they're not dating them so they need to keep their mouth shut.

[leahzrc]

I usually dont care for the opinion of others on the topic because obviously looks dont say anything about who that person is. If someone told me something like that, I would just say something like "I dont care whether you find them unattractive because they are a good person and they are better than anyone else that I have ever given a chance to"

[Oram52]

Wouldn't bother me at all only opinion that matters is of myself. As long as she's gorgeous to me.

"I showed my ex love interest to my aunt and she thinks he's unattractive."
Dispels the myth women don't care about appearance or looks. Which should be obvious and nothing wrong with it.

[FakeName123]

It would bother me. Moreso about the rude behaviour of my family-member/friend, though. It doesn't matter what THEY find attractive. But even if it would matter somewhat, beauty is a fading good. What matters more is that the person is making ME happy and we have a healthy and complimenting relationship.

[Ripper_E]

No. I find them attractive, so it doesn't matter.I think this woman looks very attractive but a lot of other people, mainly men, do not. I don't give a shit. I find her attractive.

[perislav85]

I think that is totally irrelevant what they are thinking about the person who's I'm seeing. When I was younger it has significant to me, but it was just my insecurity and not enough knowledge of the people's nature. Nowadays, whatever anyone thinks about my partner is just an opinion and I don't want to argue that, whoever that is.

[meesegoMoo]

It's only offensive if you were with them for their appearance. Choosing based just on physical attraction rarely works well anyways.

[Anonymous]

Most will never say it to you, even if they think it. But once my step dad told me I could do better lol. It bothered me a bit in that I don't really know what he meant by it specifically, but I let it go and it was the only comment like that he ever made.

[Gunarchist]

I never had a partner, but with regards to this situation.. It depends on how and why they say it. If anyone was rude about it or said it without being asked about her looks (but I'd never ask it since it'd feel disgusting), then I'd be rather hurt by that. Its even worse that I hate talking about how sexually attractive anyone is.

[green1supremacy]

Some people who aren't happy themselves can't see others happiness simply put. And then some people are conditioned to feel a certain way. I don't ask my family to like my mates. I don't give them the opportunity to have an opinion. My life, my heart, next question.

[Hans222]

It doesn't really bother me, since finding someone beautiful is very personal.
However, what people should never do is advise me to stay away from her because they don't like her.
That would make me really angry, who I love <3 is private...

[Tyler131]

Wow, who cares what everyone else thinks. If a girl I find attractive was UGLY AS HELL to the rest of the world, that might actually be a great thing lol.

[Anonymous]

If i was in that situation I'd tell that relative to go fuck herself and never speak to her again. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and you can't control the stupidity that comes out of people's mouths but you can control your own actions though. (So that's what that expression means/relates to hmmm finally figured it out after all this time guess you do learn something new everyday)

[Avicenna]

No, because I don't care what anyone else thinks. And my best friend is never shy about sharing his opinion about my gf's looks or character (oddly, he thought my most recent ex was my type!).

[emmily2396]

The point is that they should stay silent. They should speak up if the guy I a seeing isn't acting right but commenting on his appearance in a negative way is a big no.

[Nik1hil]

Honestly..
I would glad... And say "Great if you don't find her attractive because you don't have to have sex with her.. Only I have to."
It's a WIN-WIN

[TBoneTrimm]

My ex was slaughtered by my boys when I first dated her because she's flat. Thought she was a boy who wore make up and calling her my son.

I loved her anyway. So it didn't bother me.