How would you feel if someone you knew cancelled your friend request?

Question

So me and a girl knew each other for several months, i respected boundaries and when things got a bit weird and i was having a bad time in my life i went radio silent and also removed myself off her social media (instagram and snapchat).

I didn't think to tell her i did that because i was dealing with a difficult situation and didn't want to talk to her about it. 3months later i contacted her to say i had a bad moment and i apologised and she said its ok but it wasn't because she didn't talk to me and blocked me from snapchat.
So now its been another 6months and i decided to add her back to instagram and she cancelled the request. Did ghosting hurt the person so much they dont want to know me anymore?

Answer 1

Karin_Anna

Xper 6

There could be a whole array of reasons, try not to think too much into it.

A person is not obliged to do as you wish and vice versa, our expectations just assume they will.

Some people just don't want drama in their kives, once you show your hand, they will look at you in a different light. Again, they are not obliged to be your friend, even if they used to be.

In my case, all of my friends left me during my dark time to the point I had considered taking my life... that is another story. Thankfully, I had my work and travels tot some my mind off things.

We also have to consider that their lives have changed from the last time we spoke/saw each other. They might not be in a position to take you back.

All on all, we will encounter many people in our lives and leave some impression on them. Just look to the positives and remember the good.

As for ghosting, it is not a not a nice feeling but all too common these days.

React

1 Person

ChocoBrownieMonster

1 y
thank you so much for providing a well described understanding of why she didn't. For me i lost this friend (uninentional ghosting) because my mind was so occupied by an issue at work that i was not happy anymore and when im not i dont talk to friends. When i overcame that and became good i chose to reacquaint myself and she decided no. I try again, no. But we had a convo before about friends who ghost and she said she'd always leave the door open for them. But i find that door isn't open for me lol.. ouch. I did show my hand, i liked her, but she had a boyfriend so i didn't pursue or create an uncomfortable friendship. I guess you're right, i remember the positives and good and that was nice, i dont know if i should tell her that or just not bother as she made her choice. I once told her that if a girl doesn't want to know me i wouldn't bother them again.
Karin_Anna

1 y
Yeah it is tough, I don't think you should try again. She might be in a place that has no room to add you, I know that sounds harsh but if you keep pushing, she would likely close that chapter.

Moving forward, continue rebuilding your life and surround yourself with positivity... easier said than done right! I know!!
ChocoBrownieMonster

1 y
haha i will do that, appreciate the encouragement, I do wonder if she will try to friend me again. Others have. She was the one who asked for my number at university tutorial. She flirted with me in a subtle way. I feel she developed trust with me. This connection was cheeky always, very open and honest. If she's met another who had that kind, im truly shocked. Anyhow i'll just forget and move on and not care when or if she does now. :) ty for the help
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Karin_Anna

1 y
Don't forget or not care, just focus on you 🙂
ChocoBrownieMonster

1 y
lol err subconsciously i know she refused a friend request, the next time if there is a next time she talks to me i'll be suspicious about her intentions. She's different to another girl i got to know, the other girl made no hesitation to add me (we unfriended a lot of times) but this girl kept upsetting me. The new girl is more passive aggressive, to look for signs of problems requires my effort. I feel if a girl (her best friend) ghosted her and when contacted told her she's busy, it tells me the best friend had enough. So do you think she is a narccist? as she likes even bullying her older sister.
Karin_Anna

1 y
I cannot really make that assumption because I don't know them nor can I visualise their behaviour. Just look after yourself and be cautious, not overly so but enough to protect yourself.

I try to not expect anything, that way I done't get disappointed
FireRedPikachu

1 y
I agree Friendships change and so do peoples feelings towards friends they used to know.

Answer 2

ChocoBrownieMonster

thank you so much for providing a well described understanding of why she didn't. For me i lost this friend (uninentional ghosting) because my mind was so occupied by an issue at work that i was not happy anymore and when im not i dont talk to friends. When i overcame that and became good i chose to reacquaint myself and she decided no. I try again, no. But we had a convo before about friends who ghost and she said she'd always leave the door open for them. But i find that door isn't open for me lol.. ouch. I did show my hand, i liked her, but she had a boyfriend so i didn't pursue or create an uncomfortable friendship. I guess you're right, i remember the positives and good and that was nice, i dont know if i should tell her that or just not bother as she made her choice. I once told her that if a girl doesn't want to know me i wouldn't bother them again.

Answer 3

Karin_Anna

Yeah it is tough, I don't think you should try again. She might be in a place that has no room to add you, I know that sounds harsh but if you keep pushing, she would likely close that chapter.

Moving forward, continue rebuilding your life and surround yourself with positivity... easier said than done right! I know!!

Answer 4

ChocoBrownieMonster

haha i will do that, appreciate the encouragement, I do wonder if she will try to friend me again. Others have. She was the one who asked for my number at university tutorial. She flirted with me in a subtle way. I feel she developed trust with me. This connection was cheeky always, very open and honest. If she's met another who had that kind, im truly shocked. Anyhow i'll just forget and move on and not care when or if she does now. :) ty for the help

Answer 5

Karin_Anna

Don't forget or not care, just focus on you 🙂

Answer 6

ChocoBrownieMonster

lol err subconsciously i know she refused a friend request, the next time if there is a next time she talks to me i'll be suspicious about her intentions. She's different to another girl i got to know, the other girl made no hesitation to add me (we unfriended a lot of times) but this girl kept upsetting me. The new girl is more passive aggressive, to look for signs of problems requires my effort. I feel if a girl (her best friend) ghosted her and when contacted told her she's busy, it tells me the best friend had enough. So do you think she is a narccist? as she likes even bullying her older sister.

Answer 7

Karin_Anna

I cannot really make that assumption because I don't know them nor can I visualise their behaviour. Just look after yourself and be cautious, not overly so but enough to protect yourself.

I try to not expect anything, that way I done't get disappointed

Answer 8

FireRedPikachu

I agree Friendships change and so do peoples feelings towards friends they used to know.

Answer 9

FireRedPikachu

Xper 5

I agree Friendships change and so do peoples feelings towards friends they used to know.

React

1 Person

FireRedPikachu

1 y
Thanks for the MHO
ChocoBrownieMonster

1 y
we were attracted by pheromones, whenever she was nearby i could sense her presence. And she was drawn to me. Since we grew apart and i ghosted her, the feelings died.. she found me creepy for telling her how i felt when she was around. But it is true, i could sense she's exactly where i felt she is. Lots of things drew us together aswell, we ended up in the same class of 5 and she indirectly asked for my number, when i first saw her i was focused on my exam paper and suddenly looked up at her asked myself 'who is that girl' in an exam theatre of 100 people. I've never experienced that before.
ChocoBrownieMonster

1 y
the last time i saw her again, she buzzed past my face and made all my hair stand up lol and when i observed her she thought i was the one who approached her when infact it was some goofy guy lol and the dissapointment on her face.. i guess you're right feelings change. But the next time she's around me if ever she'll feel it again.

Answer 10

FireRedPikachu

Thanks for the MHO

Answer 11

ChocoBrownieMonster

we were attracted by pheromones, whenever she was nearby i could sense her presence. And she was drawn to me. Since we grew apart and i ghosted her, the feelings died.. she found me creepy for telling her how i felt when she was around. But it is true, i could sense she's exactly where i felt she is. Lots of things drew us together aswell, we ended up in the same class of 5 and she indirectly asked for my number, when i first saw her i was focused on my exam paper and suddenly looked up at her asked myself 'who is that girl' in an exam theatre of 100 people. I've never experienced that before.

Answer 12

ChocoBrownieMonster

the last time i saw her again, she buzzed past my face and made all my hair stand up lol and when i observed her she thought i was the one who approached her when infact it was some goofy guy lol and the dissapointment on her face.. i guess you're right feelings change. But the next time she's around me if ever she'll feel it again.

How would you feel if someone you knew cancelled your friend request?

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