I want to be a single mom by choice. How would I know which method is best for me?

[Anonymous]

What is a single mom by choice? It is a mom who wishes to have children knowing the will be the sole provider of their child (ren). In other words, I want to get a procedure done to impregnate myself and raise my children without a father/another mother. I also want family balancing. How do I know which method is best for me and my wants/needs? I know I’ll still have to go to a doctor to verify

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify. I’m not doing it right now (I’m only 22). Sure, ideally, getting married and having children is a good option. However, I am open to this option as well if push comes to shove.

Updates

+1 y

I see that there are all the angry men in the comments.
1.) I’m not doing it at this moment
2.) You’re not answering my question
3.) It’s my life and my body and my child. I do as I please. Thank you.

Updates

+1 y

Oh, and another thing. I don’t hate men. I am bisexual. I most definitely don’t hate men. My decision isn’t due to men because I never mentioned men or anyone for that matter. Y’all think every decision a woman makes revolves around y’all. Of course, not everyone said this, but it needed to be said. People were getting a lot too emotional to this post for my liking. Like I said, this is a last resort decision. I am only 22 years old.

[Anonymous]

I was raised by a single mother.

I don't recommend you doing it. Very Strongly.

There are things you cannot do with your son that a father can do just as there are things a father cannot do with his daughter. I have a daughter so I feel qualified to say that. I wish I could talk to my daughter and do things with her that only my wife (her mother) can do. They are fundamentally different relationships.

You may use terms like machismo and toxic masculinity and denigrate the value of men opin a boy's life but there are experiences that he will need and 'worldly advice' that he needs to be successful in life.
Men communicate with other men differently than they do with women.
Fathers and sons have common shared experiences (hunting, sports, hobbies, life lessons, girls, etc.) that are special.
For example: a man handing his son some cash before a date and telling him how to treat a girl. That's special.

You, technically, can do that. But it won't be the same.

Don't listen to me. I say that because I know you won't.

Listen to the experts. Read the research about the benefits to boys of having a father or a strong male role model in his life. This isn't the manosphere talking. This is PhDs!

I realize you want to raise your son on your own. And you will love him with all of your heart and want what is best for him.

If you love him and want what is best for him why would you want to hold his social and emotional development back?

[DapperDinosaur]

This ^

[Barbaric]

She won't listen. Women who say these things are damaged, retarded.

[nelly83]

It’s entirely possible to raise healthy minded kids as a single parent. Just have a male figure in your child’s life such as a decent uncle who likes kids. It’s overly exaggerated how impossible it is for single parents to succeed at parenting

I grew up in a very toxic family mom and dad. I would have fared better by being raised my mom.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 single mothers raise most criminals and sluts. Its not a nice way to raise kids. Kids need a father.

[Asker]

I was also raised by a single mother. Yes, it was hard. However, I would much rather that than her with my dad. My dad was not the best. It all depends on the circumstance.

[Asker]

@Barbaric I mean. I’m not doing it right now. But thanks for your concern

[nelly83]

@startingfitness that’s a stereotype. I’ve seen many well behaved kids raised by single moms who are working great jobs , are in decent relationships.

[Barbaric]

@nelly83

The trouble here is that you and the OP come to those positions based on anecdotal evidence, whereas if you look at statistics you see something completely different. If you listen to experts in child development they won't agree with you either.

A father and a mother provide different things to a child. Take one of them away and they miss out on that. A father is also very different to any other male. If for some reason you end up a single mother, sure, giving them a strong male role model is the next best thing, but it's not the best thing.

Dysfunctional parents, both mothers and fathers, can also do a lot of damage. My stepfather was a piece of shit, still is. I would probably have been better off without him. I had all kinds of issues which I had to resolve by myself because of him. So I know what you're saying there. But that doesn't mean that fathers aren't necessary, they definitely are.

If you can't find a good man, most likely you are dysfunctional yourself. The very fact that you'd consider becoming a single mother purposely is a sign that you have issues. Therefore you're probably not gonna be the single mother who raises a kid well, just another one perpetuating the cycle of dysfunction.

[nelly83]

@Barbaric dude the dad's in the 1950s were barely involved in their kids lives. Mom's did all the child rearing. Dad's worked over 12 hr days and never got to see the kids. Many retired men even say their biggest life regrets were not spending enough time with their kids. They all grown up and lived their lives successfully. And now these kids are 40-60 years old. We have always had a tradition of the missing dad who is never home.

[nelly83]

@Barbaric I've personally met quite a decent number of folks who are very successful as adults being raised in single family homes. Stereotypes aRe over exaggerated generalizations.

[Barbaric]

@nelly83

Well really the boomers were fucked up too and I'm not sure why people romanticise the 50s. They ended up with the highest divorce rate of all, and I'd say that the decline of the West began at that point. So I'm not disagreeing with you there, nor do I think that that's proof that fathers don't matter. The 50s are proof that they do.

Again there, you're talking about anecdotal evidence and confirmation bias vs statistical data. Children from single parent households fare worse in all aspects in general. If you had any statistics which would prove otherwise, then you could prove that it's an over-exaggerated stereotype based on nothing. But what you're doing is pointing to the smaller number of those who do okay, while ignoring the vast majority who do not. While ignoring as I said before experts on child development.

[nelly83]

@Barbaric and plus divorce rates were high as hell during the 70s-2000s, take a look at all the kids who had to be raised by single parents by that. Are we all adults fucked cuz do many of our parents are divorced? I'm sure there are fucked kids but there are also many that aren't.

[Barbaric]

@nelly83

They were. That's why I call it a cycle and say that the decline began with the boomers. They raised Gen X to be fucked up, even more fucked up than them, and then Gen X raised us even worse still.

I'm speaking in general. Some people turn out okay, the majority do not. I had all kinds of issues I had to deal with. The difference is that most people are unaware of their issues, and if they are they don't know why they have issues, nor do they know how to deal with them.

[Asker]

@Barbaric are those statistics based on single mothers who are single mothers by choice or single mothers by certain circumstances. Single mother who are raising their children in a low income neighborhood and household. Where regardless of whether the mother was single or not, the child is fucked over by the system anyways.

[nelly83]

@Barbaric there are many kids who were raised by both parents that are also fucked up. But I think fatherlessNess is predominantly in black communites which is why there is an assumption that single parents raise criminals.

Personally I have seen many folks raised by single parents that have ended up very successful, nice people. I think as long as the child has an amazing mom who constantly keeps tabs on the kid and a decent male figure in his or her life then the kid will be fine

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 no thats not enough. A decent male figure does not replace a father. Every child needs a father end of the story. A father is no less important than a mother thats like saying its okay for a kid not to have a mom just some female in its life is enough. Bs.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 more kids raised by single parents are fucked up then by both parents. Statistically proven.
Violence and promiscuity in single parent households is also much higher than in families with 2 parents. Also statistically proven. This isn't just the case for black families this is the same throughout the world.

It is a known fact since ancient times that kids without a parent will have something lacking in their lives that can lead to a lot of problems. I dont understand why you people tend to argue against it. Children need to be raised in proper families and this broken family bs needs to end.

[startingfitness]

And asker , children who are raised by a single parent in well off familes are messed up too. Its not just an economic problem. Its a behaviour related problem. Every parent has an influence over their childs development. Fathers leave their masculine presence in the minds of their children. With boys, this helps them control and regulate themselves. And the lack of a father in turn creates reckless, out of control boys. With girls a lack of a father can cause them to sexually mature faster. It literally affects female physical development. Thats how important fathers are to their children.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness father's have always been absent in their children's lives. Men were always expected to work and it's VERY COMMON for kids to never see their dad.

The stats only show that kids of single parents grow up to be criminals or slut's cuz fatherlessNess are primarily in ghetto communities.

As long as the mom knows how to care for the kid and keep tabs on them then they will turn out fine. Usually the mom doesn't care as much about the kid because she sees it as a burden.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness the only thing I would see missing in a child's life without a dad is how to interact with men or understand how a man should treat them. As long as they have male relatives who love them, things really should be fine

[Opinion Owner]

I can only go back to my experience because I LIVED IT. I had positive, participating adult male 4ole models in my family, the community, etc.
Young and adolescent boys want to talk to, about, and brag about our fathers. Even if we don't see him each afternoon. A father sets the tone in the house. He is a leader who teaches us how to be men. He gives a shit about how we're doing and gets us back in when we're stupid.
A father is more than just some guy.

[nelly83]

I grew up with a married mother who was never there for me. She would always only tend to my brothers every need. At the age of 9, I knew that she loved my brother more. By the time I hit 16, she noticed that I was sprouting into a young woman and she was jealous of me because she was turning into an old woman.

As a result , I have always very much desired an older sister since I was 12. I wanted someone who could lead the way. And I still want a female role model at the age of 24. I still want a big sis. Just because you are born to married parents , it doesn’t mean you have everything you need. Not all mothers are caring and motherly. It’s very common to find moms that should have no business being moms.

And it’s wrong to assume that just because you have a father in your life , That You would see him and eat dinner with him daily. I saw my father at home everyday and he was ridiculously abusive , bad tempered and didn’t care about my emotional well-being.

I’d rather be raised by a single mother , who was caring and kind , perfect female role model than some toxic married parents who don’t know how to raise kids

[Opinion Owner]

You got the short end of the deal. Look at it from a probability perspective.
If you are missing one parent then the chances of having a good/solid/stable relationship with them is zero
If you have that parent in your life the chances of having a good/solid/stable relationship is not zero.
Zero chance vs. Not zero chance.

I know which one I would pick.

Who knows? Maybe some day your mother and father will stop being abusive pieces of shit. At least in your situation there is the opportunity for re-engagement/rapprochement.

[nelly83]

I find that it is more important for you to have the right support system than simply mom and dad under one roof together. I’d rather give up my abusive father who terrorizes me for a few uncles who adore me and buy me treats all the time. I’d rather be raised by a woman who would sacrifice her everything to raise me than some mother who is narcissistic and jealous and has no emotional connection with her daughter.,

It’s really about quality over quantity. Nobody has a perfect childhood but having a good support system is much more crucial than just living with mom and dad under one roof daily

[Opinion Owner]

That's your choice. You have that luxury now. The OP is denying their child that choice.

[nelly83]

Abusive parents usually never stop being abusive and at this point of how much pain I have been through the years living with them, I have no plans on making amends with them. After I accumulate enough money I will just abandon them. Many kids stick with their abusive parents because these kids are used to being treated that way without realizing they are entitled to anything better

Ideally we all want a mom and dad that aren’t abusive , loving warm and caring. But not everyone is that lucky. I wouldn’t expect to be lucky enough to have a perfect family. But I would definitely had a better childhood being raised by a non abusive single mom and an uncle who loves me.

Ask your child if they feel loved or treated well. Ask them if they have a great support system. This is more important Simply a mom and dad under one roof.
There was a point where I felt like an ORPHAN where none of my emotional needs were met. Because I felt THAT EMPTY

[Opinion Owner]

I won't disagree with you on your points. But, statistically, you're better off with two parents.

[nelly83]

You never knew what it was raised in my home. You never knew what it was like to be constantly abused on a daily basis which is why you think it’s better to be raised being bullied for years than the perfect single mom

[nelly83]

I would be far better off being raised by a perfect single mom than to cry every other night without dinner. Or having to face emotional torture on a daily basis.

[nelly83]

Frequently when one parent is abusive. Their wives or husbands never tend to intervene. Because they are both married and they should always be on the same page. And they also don’t want to ruin their marriage by the wife accusing the husband of not being on her side

I have lost my trust for my parents long ago. As a parent , you are supposed to provide attention, care , and love to your child. You are supposed to be someone Your kids can trust and feel secure with.

Your kids don’t just stop seeking this when they turn 18.

When you repeatedly mistreat your kids over and over again over a long period of time, they lose trust in you. It doesn’t matter if you still feed them. It will still leave your kids feeling like orphans.

Having a mom or dad under one roof is in no way shape or form proof that the kid will have a good childhood. It’s the same fake over exaggerated stereotype of how all “mothers” are caring , nurturing , attention giving. WE ALL KNOW NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT.

Too many bitches walking around with no kindness or sympathy.

[Opinion Owner]

We won't sway the other on here. Good luck.

[nelly83]

You’re not willing to consider both perspectives. That’s why. Ignorance is bliss.

[nelly83]

I’m prepared to raise my future child all on my own too, If I’m unable to find a husband. And I can garuantee you my child will succeed in life

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 no fathers have not always been absent from their childrens lives. Thats a feminist lie. In my community , where we value marriage and family , fathers and mothers both are involved in their childrens lives. Even though dads work (nowadays most moms do too) they also spend time with their kids.

And its not just a problem in ghettoes , ghettoes just have more fatherless children but fatherless kids of all communities are negatively affected by the absence of their father. Women undergoing puberty earlier because of absense of the father is not a socioeconomic issue ots a biologocal issue.

A mother aline is NOT fine children need a Father and a Mother, like nature intended. end of the story. Get out of here with your anti male bs.

[startingfitness]

Opinion owner, she is on of those man hating feminazis. A real woman would want their kids to have a father, but these brainwashed idiots dont know how to behave like normal humans.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness I want a father for my Kids but many of your feminizi haters are traditional men who won’t be there for your kids anyways.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 traditional men are there for our kids. And i just argued for fatherhood but you twist it around conveniently as an excuse. Drop that stupid mindset of men not wanting their kids and look at all the fathers who are involved with their children.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness traditional men do not want to be fathers. Take a look at all the anti feminist men on here who think that raising kids is a woman’s job while a mans job is only working as many hours as he can.

The 1950s decade was filled with dads who had no parental responsibility. Dad just worked 16 hours a day while the women were expected to stay gone with the kids. And this happened for many many years even up until now. Raising kids , doing chores have always been expected for women. But only nowadays there same women need to work too

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 you dont know traditional men. I do, i come from a traditional family. And men are involved in their childrens lives. The dudes on here aren't real traditional men. In the 50s in america people were living in a highly industrial period where people had to work a lot. That wasn't the case always in human history. Go and explore other cultures and see the place of a man in the household. I think modern western culture is the only culture that is so extremely anti male.

But you dont want to listen to me you want to listen to those feminist cunts and their lies.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 you have no right to deny a child their father.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness you have no right to insist that women should be the sole caretakers of children, anti feminist.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness let’s face it , what’s the point of having a dad is the kid is never gonna see him?

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 when did i say that women should be the catetakers? I was argueing for the opposite. Can you stop being brainwashed for a minute.

[startingfitness]

*only caretakers

[nelly83]

@startingfitness can you stop being brainwashed that all feminists don’t think kids need dads? Don’t say other people r brainwashed when ur clearly brainwashed yourself

[Opinion Owner]

Good lord, people. Let it rest. @nelly83 is convinced all men are shit. @startingfitness (whom I agree with mostly) says men want to be in their child's lives.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 both you and the asker are argueing FOR single motherhood. What do you expect us to say? If you think that kids need dads then say that instead of argueing FOR single parenthood. Are you stupid or something?

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 your problem is that you probably only like assholes who run away from their kids. Most men are not like that but you probably dont like most good men. Thats why you think most men dont want to raise their kids because thats the type of dude you are involved with. Thats on you its not our fault.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness I’m only arguing for single motherhood if I don’t happen to end up marrying a husband. Of course it’s ideal that all kids have good dads.

But Dads are easily substitutable with uncles or any other decent male figure who constantly plays a role in a child’s life. But a mother is NOT SUBSTITUTABLE. No other woman can nurture a child the same way as It were like their own real mother.

Dads have been missing from children since the 1950s. Dads have always worked mega long hours and it’s actually not uncommon for them to never see their kids. It still happens a lot today. We all turned out fine.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 you shouldn't be argueing for single motherhood at all.

" But Dads are easily substitutable with uncles or any other decent male figure who constantly plays a role in a child’s life. But a mother is NOT SUBSTITUTABLE. No other woman can nurture a child the same way as It were like their own real mother"

what a load of bullshit, who told you that dads are substitutable you sexist cunt? dads are just as important as moms and are NOT SUBSTITUTABLE. you don't make the rules you sexist whore. now shut the fuck up

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 clearly we didn't turn out fine. fatherlessness has caused boys to become criminals and girls to be promiscuous- statistically proven fact

dads haven't been missing from children since 1950. that's not a fact that's your opinion. I see dads with their kids all the time. ALL THE TIME. here caps for you blind person who doesn't see dads with kids because she doesn't want to.
Dads have always worked long hors? no, that's again your opinion which you learned from uninformed feminazis. its factually wrong.

so you are just using your opinion and wrong information to make your argument. you fail. you are wrong, there is nothing you can do to prove otherwise, you are only proving that you hate men and think men are inferior you sexist.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness fatherlessNess does not cause boys to become criminals. If that were true , 70 percent of all of us would be crimimals. Do u realize it's VERY COMMON for kids to never see their dad? ARe most of us criminals? no

And the only reason why this stereotype exists Is because fatherlessness exist primarily in ghetto communities where criminalitY is alreadY high. Most fatherless cases are in high crime black areas. Black children aRe much more likely to be without dads than anY other race

Dads can be substituted by uncles or step fathers. But you can't substitute a mother. A step mom or nanny won't care for the child as good as a real mother would.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness you are just jealous that fathers are less important than mothers. It hurts your anti woman ego. Anti feminists always love boasting how men are more important than women.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 "fatherlessNess does not cause boys to become criminals." - wrong. its statistically proven. " If that were true , 70 percent of all of us would be crimimals." - wrong you just made up a number hahhha. " Do u realize it's VERY COMMON for kids to never see their dad?" wrong its very rare. most of us aren't criminals because most of us see our dads. lol at your ignorance and delusions, look up the facts dumbass.

"And the only reason why this stereotype exists Is because fatherlessness exist primarily in ghetto communities where criminalitY is alreadY high" - no again, its a statistical fact, not a stereotype. "Most fatherless cases are in high crime black areas. Black children aRe much more likely to be without dads than anY other race" - lol are you racist? are you trying to say its a black issue rather than a fatherlessness issue? lol.

"Dads can be substituted by uncles or step fathers. But you can't substitute a mother. A step mom or nanny won't care for the child as good as a real mother would" not a fact, its your opinion and you have a small brain so it doesn't count. you say a step mom or nanny won't care for a child as much as a mom but pretend that uncles and step fathers would. so according to your logic a man doesn't have the time or interest to look after his own kid, but a man has both the time and interest and love in his heart to look after another mans kid? ahhahahha

are you intelligent enough te realize just how stupid you made yourself look?

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 Real men and real women know that fathers are as important as mothers. stupid cunt whores like you do not. go fuck yourself you manhating cunt. you have no arguments or reasoning you are just a misandristic piece of shit.

[nelly83]

@startingfitness I didn't read anything you wrote because we all know you're secretly just jealous that men are replace and women are not. And you very well know that dad's role is to work , not to nurture children. You just Dont want to admit it.

I have no other reason to argue with your sexist but hurt anti feminist ass. VERY COMMON FOR ANTI FEMINISTS TO GET BUTT HURT WHEN THEY SEE THAT MEN ARE NOT BETTER THAN WOMEN

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 you don't have to read it I just made you look stupid , that's all. didn't have to try hard for that.

And everyone knows who the sexist is between me and you, you manhating feminazi.

[startingfitness]

@nelly83 and lol at men being replaced. What are women gonna do without men? Don't forget that women rely on men more than we rely on you.

[Asker]

@nelly83 girl, this dude is just weird. I understand people disagreeing, but their weirdo 1) is assuming i hate men. I’m bisexual, definitely don’t hate men. 2) Is SOOO emotionally invested in a decision that not even planning on making in the next 5 years. I’m only 22. I’m not planning on having children just yet. 3) if he read my updates, he’ll know that that’s the case.

[nelly83]

@Asker you don’t have to believe in the lies anti feminists spew on here. 80 percent of guys in here are misogynists and will look for absolutely any reason to hate on women. Their mothers probably abused or Abandoned them in the past so they look for every reason to hate. Just ignore all their lies.
This is why so many of them seem to dream about the 1950s where women were suppressed. They see that as their ideal version of reality. Plenty of them have little to no real life experience with dating.

[Opinion Owner]

There's a great adage from Japan: "It's good that we have two ears and only one mouth." It means that it makes a lot of sense to listen. I don't hear you having listened.

[startingfitness]

asker, being bisexual doesn't mean you dont hate men. people can have sex with people they hate. its not a rare thing. i know you hate men because only women who hate men prefer to raise a child alone. real women want a man to raise their child. both you and nelly are manhating feminazis.

it doesn't matter when you do it, doing it is the problem. you should only think of having a kid with the father present.

and nelly who blocked me , lol at her she doesn't even care about the childs situation she doesn't want to know the facts and statistics she just wants to believe that all men hate women as much as she hates men.

[DapperDinosaur]

@startingfitness @nelly83 can one of you please just be the bigger person and leave this thread tf alone? I'm really getting tired of these notifications...

[DianaWest]

@Barbaric i don't think your opinion matters that much really. a woman starts having fertility issues by the time she gets to 35 and no woman needs to wait around for a man in order to be a mother. many piece of shit humans get married and have children only to neglect them afterwards, so why wouldn't a single mother who is educated, has a well paying job, a good head on her shoulders and really wants to have a baby be a much better parent to her baby than those degenerates?

[DianaWest]

@startingfitness yes she does. you have no right to tell a woman that she can never have children simply because she doesn't wait around 20 years until a man shows up.

[ZackBan]

Why do you WANT to invite trouble.
Create a human and doom him to broken home so he grows up with so much mental issues no amount of psychology could treat him?
If you don't want to get married or at least have a stable partner then don't but it's not a babies fault to have to deal with your greed all his life.

Also an option I guess would be to get someone you know wouldn't mind (many don't ) to impregnate you on the condition he forgets it ever happened.
If all else fails go find glory hole in some bathroom, make someone's day and go home to struggle with the consequences.

[Asker]

It’s not a broken home unless I raise them in bad living conditions and an unloving home.

[ZackBan]

Its not so simple. I have no doubt you'll be a loving mother and make sure they want for nothing.
But kids need a father figure. That person doesn't have to be their actually father but there needs to be a person a kid can turn to you for certain things no matter boy or girl.
I actually took that in a psychology class I had to take once so it's a study not just my opinion.
But without a father figure a kid is at a greater risk of growing up with certain childhood issues that won't make life. easy for him.
Its not something you can compensate for

[Asker]

I’m sorry you feel that way.

[ZackBan]

Oh well, it was only a but of friendly advice in the end you do what you gotta do.

As for methods it's like I said a willing partner shouldn't be so hard to find assuming you're ok with having sex with him.
You could always try the clinical method but I'm not exactly sure how it works and if the sperm bank is willing to plant a seed for just anyone,
But if you're healthy and fertile then why bother at all.

[Asker]

Like I said. I’m not doing this right now.

[ZackBan]

Oh I'm sorry didn't notice the update.
Well best of luck to you I'm sure you'll make an amazing mother.

[Asker]

No you’re ok. I’m of course waiting until I’m financially and emotionally available for the child.

[sheikalana]

You need to do a full research and search what method suits you. There are so many options I'm not an expert tho you either adopt, freeze your eggs and used them on a surrogate or you can go to a sperm bank. I'm pretty sure there are so many other methods but so far this are the ones I've heard about.

[Asker]

Yes. Of course, I’m not going to do it at this moment.

[startingfitness]

Or she could do it like a normal person and get married.

[sheikalana]

@startingfitness of course but in case a woman doesn't find a partner being a single mom by choice is the option too and there's nothing wrong with that.

[startingfitness]

Yes there is a lot wrong with that. A child needs a father.

[sheikalana]

@startingfitness I do agree that a child needs a father however there's a lot of people who grew up without fathers and survived.

[Asker]

@startingfitness Marriage doesn’t guarantee a healthy and happy life for your children.

[startingfitness]

That doesn't mean that fathers are optional. Many people lost a parent because they died. That doesn't mean it should become the norm.

[startingfitness]

Asker, you are so stupid I don't know what to say. Having 2 arms doesn't giarantee a happy life so does that mean we should cut off one arm and hope it works out better? Thats some low iq logic right there.

[DianaWest]

@startingfitness can you fuck off? you can have kids until you're 1000 years old because you have a dick, but a woman's fertility starts declining rapidly after 35. why should a woman wait around 20 years and give up on her dream of being a mother just because she couldn't convince a man to marry her? it's not your life, it's hers, so fuck off. you inconsiderate whiny bitch. if you were a woman and you were just dumped by your fiance at the age of 34 and you knew your fertility was declining rapidly, what would you do? wait another decade to find "the one" and risk dying alone and never having the joy of holding your baby in your hands or just go and have a baby on your own? keep your toxic opinions to yourself. you don't know people's life situation. no one said being a single mom by choice was ideal, it is usually a last minute choice for women who have either been dumped, lied to or cheated on by their scumbag fiances/husbands.

[Agape93]

Have a partner and get them tested, and have them sign documentation absolving them of responsibility for the kid and of child support. Let them knock you up. That way you’re saving dozens of thousands of dollars which can now go to supporting you and the kids.

[Asker]

I don’t want them to have another parent. It’s weird but I don’t want that.

[Agape93]

There will be a parent no matter what you do, even ivf. Unless you do parthenogenesis, the sperm will come from someone. But you don’t need to keep that person in your life.

[Asker]

Yea. But that doesn’t mean that they’re the parent. They just donated the sperm.

[Agape93]

Exactly! Let the dude donate the sperm to get you impregnated, and absolve him so he can cleanly leave your life.

[Asker]

That could be a possibility. However I’m not doing it at the moment.

[Agape93]

Do as you wish

[ThomasTKay]

Much of the problems facing society at the moment stem from broken homes where fathers take off leaving the woman to do it all. Sorry but one of the most fundamental human constructs is that of a father and mother. Children need both father and mother in the home in order to gain all the attributes needed for successful adults.

[Asker]

You’re entitled to your opinion

[Liam_Hayden]

1. IVF. Very expensive,
2. Meet some random guy in another state or country and never tell him. Could be risky to your health.
3. Find a guy willing to do so while giving up all rights and responsibilities. Could be costly because you will need an attorney to draw up a binding contract that will also be honored by the courts where you live. He might also grow a conscience and want to see "his" child at some point.

[Asker]

I really don’t want that. I could find other methods but I really just want my own child without the risk of someone wanting to be involved.

[DrippingHoney]

That sounds pretty selfish to predetermine that your child will grow up without a father.

[Asker]

It is but I don’t care.

[Asker]

A d children don’t need/have a father. There are single parents, lgbt parents, etc. There would be plenty of positive male figures in their lives.

[DrippingHoney]

The fact that people think like you scares me.

[Asker]

Ok. I didn’t ask.

[madprofessor]

You are wanting something to love you unconditionally and totally depends on you for everything, get a cat/dog. It's important that kids be raised in a healthy house with both positive male and female role models.

[Asker]

I want a child but thank you for your concern.

[DianaWest]

positive male and female role models can be aunts/uncles, grandpas, godfathers, etc.

[Cherokeehp]

Why not adopt? There are so many kids in this world that need a loving parent.

[Asker]

Because I want my own child.

[Cherokeehp]

Does it really make a difference if the child is genetically yours?

[Cherokeehp]

You get to skip pregnancy. You don’t have struggle to find a sperm donor and get inseminated. You’re saving an innocent child. They’ll love you just as much as your own kid.

[Asker]

Why don’t you adopt a child.

[Cherokeehp]

I plan on it in the future.

[Asker]

Good. It’s not for everyone.

[Cherokeehp]

Can I ask why not?

[Asker]

Why people don’t want to adopt?

[Cherokeehp]

Yes.

[dreamstar72]

Could turn into a nightmare fo you and the child, since the future is unknown. What’s now might not be the same tomorrow.

[Asker]

I’m not doing at this moment

[Surely]

Hopefully you will have the means to support and educate the child, if you decide to go through with this.

[Asker]

Of course.

[dwiller943]

Tbh, I feel like it's better than looking around forever for the right man.

[Edanurus]

Only way would be if or adoption. Not that I think you're particularly at a point to be thinking about having children from the little I've seen.

[Anonymous]

I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that this woman doesn't really like men all that much and the "family balancing" is to achieve a girl... just saying

[Asker]

Yes, I would like a daughter. And I like men... I’m bisexual.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess this is one of those cases where it's best to fully explain your post before submitting

[Asker]

Thanks for your concern

[Anonymous]

This is interesting. Once I had the same idea... raising a child as a single farther. Well you are lucky in that case, because I have to adapt since I am a guy

[Asker]

You can get a surrogate.

[Opinion Owner]

That's almost impossible in my country

[AzureGirl]

IVF could be an option for you.

[Asker]

Yes. I’m not going to do it at this moment.

[AzureGirl]

That’s good, I would suggest researching your options and possibly compiling some basic baby things for when you’re ready.

[Asker]

Yes, of course.

[startingfitness]

Thats very stupid of you.

[Asker]

You’re entitled to your opinion.

[startingfitness]

This isn't a game. A child needs 2 parents. Dont be selfish.

[Asker]

Lmao you acting like these are you kids. Chill out. I haven’t done it yet.

[startingfitness]

Well then dont be a cunt and do do it. You dont need to burden your kids with your hatred for men.

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂

[DianaWest]

@startingfitness you talk about selfish. that's rich. you can have children when you're 100 years old if you choose to, yet you berate a woman who only has until about age 35 to have kids before her fertility starts declining. children can be very important in someone's life. they can bring meaning to someone's life. you don't have the right to tell another person how to live their life. mind your own business and you can have your children when you're 100 years old if you please.

[OceanMelon]

You could adopt a kid

[Asker]

I don’t want to atm

[MrTaboo]

I could help. I've fathered many, coparent. com

[asshole_]

Adoption

[asshole_]

NO such thing as bi

[BillysBabe]

Idunno

[Asker]

Me neither lol