How to live a life of my own without being in fear?

From childhood till this day I've faced harsh comments from my older sister and relatives such as being the most useless sister in the world at 23. Being told I'm" stupid , to grow up to being told to Get lost" to being called "immature" to being looked at as "worthless "from family and siblings. My cousins always gossip about me and talk about me either to my sister or within their own family and they tend to have their own WhatsApp group. No one has any sort of affection or care for me within my family. No one notices or remembers the good stuff I do it's always everyone viewing me in a negative way and relying on me for everything and if I can't do something they put me down for it. I feel reliant on my older sister for assistance on certain things but tend to work , save money and can cook and clean for myself and help others or treat others much as I can yet I get dragged down and humiliated especially from my own family members. I've had enough with my older sister and her harsh words and when I react I'm the bad one and my feelings don't matter. I am in fear of moving forward but wanna make a name for myself for me. People have held me back for too long. I feel suicidal due to the way I've been treated and feel unwanted by exes and relatives in my life. Even friends have hurt me in the past.
How to live a life of my own without being in fear?
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