Should I abandon my mother?

Our relationship has always been problematic. She left me when I was 2 to pursue a better life in another country. At around 9/10, I joined her abroad. She wasn’t a great mother. Her boyfriend had a drinking problem and used to threaten me. She would beat me too, once to a point of a fractured wrist... She would argue with him all the time and if things got out of hand she expected me to stand up for her and fight him. From a very young age, she placed a lot of responsibility on my shoulders; I was responsible for taking care of my sibling, helping her with housework, doing our taxes, sorting out our bills, cooking, keeping my dad in check. She encouraged me to steal and lie. And if I didn’t comply she would hit me. And if I cried, she would hit me some more...

In my later teenage years she also caused me a lot of issues. She depended on me to find her work, to update her cv, to attend parent’s evenings. She still hit me even though I was 17-19. Sometimes, she would kick me out of the house rendering me homeless, leaving me in a place where I had to see older men to get money. When I started university, she wasn’t there to support me. I had to move in all on my own with £20 to my name for the next 2 months. This was because I accidentally tripped over the washing machine cable and switched it off.

Now I’m 23 and have moved out, I’m happy, have a great job and earn much more than her. Still she keeps pestering me. I get multiple calls from her asking me to sort out various documents or babysit. If I don’t answer the phone because I’m busy, she sends me angry messages. Often reminding me that I’m a piece of shit and I remind her of my real dad and that I’m ungrateful. When she’s a bit older she expects me to buy her a house and support her.

I do get on with my step-dad and my sibling so I can’t exactly cut all contact with the household. But I feel like my mum caused me so much pain that she doesn’t deserve my friendship.

What would you do if you were me?
Should I abandon my mother?
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