This is society's fault not all of the male gender. Society mistakes the virtue of stoicism with bottling up your emotions which is a costly mistake as you can plainly see. Here is what I suggest men to do instead of venting to everyone that some dickhead called him a pussy: tell said dickhead to go fuck himself because insults don't mean anything once you learn what an ad hominem fallacy is and search for people who truly have their best interest in mind or learn to live by themselves (its definitely possible, some dude named Richard Proenneke went out in the middle of a snowy tundra and built a cabin and lived alone in it for 30 years) and finally make themselves the best man they can be (workout and diet etc). That in my opinion is the key to happiness.
Pregnancy is extremely optional for most women nowadays. After all abortion is “a woman’s right to healthcare” now.
"guesswhoseback" that reply isn't gna make u popular with females.. smh 🤦♀️
@jadoe it’s something I never talk about. But it’s not like missdawn’s opinion is very popular anyway.
@missdawn7961Shut the fuck up stupid homeless lunatic lady.You always throw out shit from your mouth wherever you open it.Go see a psychiatrist
@OneManOnly01 well both genders do have their own unique problems. I think it’s unfair to compare the 2 since neither will ever truly understand the problems of the other gender. I do agree with guess whose back that pregnancy is also a choice as the actions leading up to it are optional by most people’s standards in society - if the person was raped then it wasn’t a choice but that is very wrong and shouldn’t happen in the first place.
A woman shouldn't have to end a life that wasn't asked to be here all because a man isn't ready to be a father. So pregnancy isn't a choice.. its the life u are dealt
@jadoe but she didn’t have to have sex with him. Assuming he didn’t force her.
@jadoe There’s no point in explaining to this stupid old fuck. This foolish old piece of shit speaks shit rather than words.
Sex is a choice.
And Pregnancy is the product of sex.
@MissDawn7961 This username, this stupid old lady is a fucking stupid homeless fuck. She has shit filled in her brain. And shit spills out of her mouth when she opens it
@OneManOnly01 well that’s quite rude onemanonly. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Everyone, every single one of the people on this site but not this homeless idiot. All she whines is “Don’t do anything, god will do it for you”She’s so damn conservative, she should’ve faded into oblivion by now
@MissDawn7961True , women do have to carry around the new human for some 9 months. But this is more a question of biology than anything resembling moral superiority. Apart from that brief 9 months women have it pretty easy...The wars will be fought by menThe buildings, houses, roads , bridges etc will be built by menThe natural resources you need to survive ( water , wood , hydrocarbons, metals etc) will be extracted by men. The crops will be planted by menThe prisons will be filled with menMost suicide cases will be men. Most homeless will be men. The vast majority of our modern technology that makes life bearable ( running water , electricity, computers , pain killers, antibiotics , vaccines , communications) most all of it designed by men. The computer and the internet service that you use to log into G@G invented by men. If you are ever the victim of a crime or if your house burns down or you get into a car accident - you will call 911 and -surprise , it will be a bunch of men trying to save your life. And once the women pops out the kid after 9 months - it will be the man who provides food , shelter , etc for the kid for the next 18 years. So there my 2 cents. PS You forgot to say thanks!!!
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Lol. Interesting. I show my emotions by getting angry. So people think i have no emotions
@hi_it_is_me123 why did you say “lol”?
@hi_it_is_me123 I think the vast majority of women have no fucking clue how difficult it is to be sensitive straight man. If you had even a 10 percent understanding of what that’s like you never “lol” at all. It’s horrible.
Lol because i relate somehow. It is also taboo in my culture to show off emotions.
People would think you are crazy, ill or psycho if you go to any psychotherapy in my culture
@hi_it_is_me123 you relate but you are a female. This world treats you much differently than it treats me when it comes to this. I figure you are probably from an Asian culture? Yes it’s true that both men and women from those cultures are very stoic. I dated a Chinese girl a few years ago. I usually had no idea what she was thinking. Nice in the beginning but as time went on it was bad. I was doing things to piss her off and had no idea about it.
I am from a middleeastern/Asian culture
It depends. Guys are not all the same. Some will listen and help and some won't. You can't just drop your problems on anyone because everybody you meet/know won't have the answers or have the experience to help you deal. This is not a gender thing, it's an experience thing but you'll learn someday. Hopefully.
@Xoxocutekitty Wow you got it completely wrong. Blaming men for problems caused by society, how they were raised and basically all forms of media (porn, movies, TV etc). I have guy friends who I can talk to about emotional stuff with but being raised to suppress your emotions makes it hard to open up to people.Saying just cry and express your emotions is insensitive on so many levels as for so many guys this isn't something that can be done.You obviously have an ill-informed, outside perspective, and that's fine. But just please don't lecture men and tell them to just fix their problems that are reinforced everywhere we look by the Internet, TV, schools, the workplace and sports to name a few days examples.
@Xoxocutekitty Black_Guy said it better than me. It is something that all guy's experience from birth and so is much more difficult to tackle as an issue than you would think. Your comment is like telling someone to stop smoking whilst you constantly hand them cigarettes and matches - it's never going to happen unless the smoker stops being handed cigarettes (men won't be able to express their emotions until the whole world makes collective changes).P. S. I intended no hate by these messages, if it came across that way then I didn't mean it ✌️
You realise men can have negative emotions besides anger, right?
Had no idea. Thanks!
Bad boys are not really bad
@TheAlbanianWoman bad boys can be criminal and simpel, unfortunately some women prefer stereotype, we create the monsters. While lovely nice men who show passion and feelings get laughed of
98 % of women will not date criminals
@TheAlbanianWoman I'd bet you a 7' chield abuser will trill more women than a hot 5'5 guy. .. unfortunately
@Petra150 You surely talk like a dude using a pink account.
@AlienParasite what made you become rude bringing up those accusations. Telling things as they are , shouldn't cause rude comments in reply. You might be one of the few women like me who don't judge guys on there height , more than on how they act. But I bet you most of us do judge guys on there phycical features breather than give a shit about how he treat other people
I said you sound like that, not that you are. It's not an accusation, it's an opinion. I don't think you are saying things like they are, but how you personally perceive them. I perceive them differently. Just seeign the women around me and how their boyfriends are I'm unable to believe most women would go for tall aggressive guys rather than normal, easy-going guys with average height around 5'7".
@AlienParasite no but they will open-hearted bprefer one and tell every guy about itbd thereby hold on and build out the gende role , and keep the bad boy theory well Alice. Try Google women's Preference for guys , especially when it comes to height in a guy, eventhoug a short guy is a doctor or successful guy, they rather pick a taller guy with out knowing what he is
@AlienParasite but correct most end up with men AVARAGE height
I think the phenomena you are describing is quite Anglo-Saxon or at least American. In my country what you say is a thing is not a thing, I've met guys 5'7" having less trouble dating that some 6'2". In my art school room the guy who was considered hotter by the girls and gay dudes was 5'7", while the two between 6' and 6'2" were not considered that hot at all, plus it was confirmed by several conversations at parties that they had less intense sex life than their shorter pals. Even in high school the guys considered hotter were around 5'7", despite beign taller guys. Also women ending up with average men here is usually because height genuinely doesn't matter. I have a friend who's constantly hit on by many tall dudes despite beign in a relationship, she could be with a taller man if she wanted to, but no, she loves her man, who happens to be a bit under my country average, is my same height, 5'4". When I'm surrounded by evidence that tell me height doesn't matter, those studies mean much to me. However maybe is a reality in the USA. So sad in that case.
@AlienParasite where are you from?
When you said rape, that made me sad because it's true. Male rape victims will be laughed at, mostly by men themselves. It's fucking tragic af
@navyrobin No male victims won't be laughed at.. Unless it was by a woman then yeah.. But it's not just men.. Women also.. In fact many believe that men can't get raped.. At least by women, and they don't particularly care for male victims of anything as there's hardly any Men's shelters around..
Would you do that for your partner too?
Totally. I actually prefer it, because from experience I found it super hard to get real communication from men. I hear the same thing from most of my female friends. We want a real connection and communication and that is only established by showing emotion.Also I don't tie masculinity to being tough. I rather associate it with confidence and confidence is also shown by being open about yourself and your emotions
So you find men who open up more attractive?
What if the emotion they're feeling is rooted in not feeling confident about something? Does him saying "I'm not feeling confident, I feel the opposite in fact" make you see him as confident?I'm not trying to bait you or anything here, but this is one of the ways in which men opening up to their S. O. is a more complicated issue than it seems. Personally I tend towards saying how I feel, but I'm also not naive as to how that can backfire over time. Men will only feel safe opening up when we know we're safe from the negative consequences that can result from opening up to a S. O. It took me months of building trust with a girl before I felt safe to cry in front of her. In that instance, I did feel relief afterwards and it made us closer. But I've also shown vulnerability in other contexts with another girl one time too many, and she threw it all in my face in a fucked up way.I do agree about having a female friend to share this stuff with though. As long as the guy doesn't mind being "just friends", then in his mind he has nothing to lose, because it doesn't matter if she loses sexual attraction, coz nothing was gonna happen anyways. Female friends can bring that female perspective and emotional support without the potential risks of crying or breaking down in front of a girlfriend or wife.
You can be not confident about something. That's totally fine, because everyone has that. With confidence I meant core confidence. So like you genuinely think you're an okay person and don't hate yourself.I feel like with having core confidence, you can also express your feelings better, because you believe you're still an okay person even though you express your emotions.I'm wondering of how that can backfire? Does that happen? I've never dealt with backfiring after opening up.I don't understand why men would be scared that she would loose attraction after being emotional. I've never met a girl who thought that was a turn-off.
Ahh okay I get you, that makes sense. I guess it depends on the woman -- if she has the emotional intelligence to realise "it's okay that he doesn't feel okay" and still recognise his positive attributes and attractive qualities, then he shouldn't have anything to worry about. The problems start when the woman has unhealthy expectations and projects them onto her man
I mean doesn't the same go with men then? Like what if a guy has low emotional intelligence, would he think of a girl as less attractive if she expresses emotions?
Oh I have no idea lol, I'm an empath so I actually like it when a girl shares her feelings with me. I consider it almost an honour that she trusts me enough to open up in that way. I'm sure that can go both ways. It really depends on the guy and the girl. But guys do face more stigma as we're judged more harshly via sexual selection. But good women know to stand by their man in tough times
@spuitkaas I don’t completely agree, it men are going to take the leader role for their family or their girlfriend, then they should not appear vulnerable before them.Their wife/girlfriend or their kids shouldn’t see them vulnerable and emotional.But I also agree that’s it’s necessary to vent out all those negative emotions. So men should cry but cry alone and if they have to talk then talk to their friends who they trust
@OneManOnly01 I don't want a man to take a leader role. I want to work as a team, so I don't know. I don't know many girls that want a guy to take the leader role either.Also I don't think showing emotions is something vunerable. Also, I don't think appearing as emotional is a bad thing. It can bring more trust and empathy.
A leader is part of the team. A leader IS A TEAM MEMBER. MOST women want men who are socially and emotionally powerful.A leader who takes care of his team and helps them achieve what they otherwise couldn’t without him, that’s what a man should be.If I had to cry, I’d rather cry to my friends rather than my girlfriend. And I speak from experience. When I gained total emotional control, or at least fake it, my life totally turned around
Also, before men start to get mad at my post, whenever I ask a guy if women are more emotional, they are more likely to say yes. But then the same guys start to complain about why society doesn’t let them be emotional... are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?If you want to be seen on that same level of sympathy, you need to encourage yourself and others to stop being afraid of being vulnerable. Human beings have emotions, we all do. You are not "the logical gender", and we are not the "emotional gender". We have very similar reactions and feelings to things. Learn to appreciate that about yourselves, don't reject your feelings and vulnerabilities. This way, people will start to want to help you more often.
My sister said a similar thing as you said here. But then later she revealed more. She told me that when she sees a man cry she is disgusted. Any guy she dated, if he ever let his feelings out, and they were sad emotions, she became disgusted by him and dumped him.And we men, we know that women feel this. As much as women say "hey you need to stop this toxic masculinity and let your feelings out!" It's not just because we think it's gay. It's because we know from experience that women are disgusted by a man who cries or lets out his feelings.Recently on here I forget who it was, but it was a woman she made a my take on why men should never cry. And most people were agreeing. Luckily there were some women saying that that was such a stupid thing to say. But at the same time, you also had plenty of girls saying they are not attracted to a man who cries. As if men would just run around crying all the time if we let our emotions loose.It's true men are less emotional than women. Even if we were free to express them, we would not be crying all over the place. But it's also true that men's emotions are suppressed.But to say its all our own fault or it's just this toxic masculnity or the patriarchy is not true. Women re-affirm it just as much as anyone else. And we men, we want women to love us and desire us, and so as long as we KNOW that a good majority of women are disgusted by a man who shows too much emotion, we will continue to bottle it up.I'm not trying to blame women but you do take some of that blame. Because it's you who we change our actions to draw your attention and affection. And we are going to act how we think we need to act to get a woman to want us.There's a big divide in my mind between what women say, and think, vs what women are actually attracted to and demonstrate in real life.
In a perfect world what you are saying @navyrobin would be fair. But the real reason men have to act more stoic is comes down to Freudian psychology. Our decisions, work, interactions with people, etc. can impact our potential to find a viable mate. Most women subconsciously do NOT want emotional men. The man has to be at least less emotional than her. If he expresses himself she will feel a friendly vibe to him not an attraction one. This is because she sees him as another woman and what usually happens in those situations? He gets friendzoned (yes the friendzone exists). But just because he is emotional doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to have sex, intimacy and love. Women will deny him that. I’m just sick of women saying “oh yes sure. It’s fine if guys are emotional. Any guy EXCEPT the one I’m dating”. What’s wrong with that picture?
Sometimes it's pride, sometimes it's a lack of ability. Let me ask you this. If you are just learning French, would you be as good as a native speaker. Of course not. Many men don't open up simply because they don't know how. They were never taught that it was OK.There are several women who equates a man have feelings as being too féminine.
You guys really need to stop putting women as the reason why you don’t do certain things. If you always rely on womens response it just means you’re a “people pleaser”, which means you don’t have your own identity or morals, you only follow women’s principles. That’s not healthy. People respect men who have their own morals and own behavior regardless of what women say or do about it. and saying that women are disgusting by emotional men is so not true. The reality is, you are attracted to women who are disgusted by men who cry, which is a totally different scenario. There are women who are complete bitches and will break up with the guy if he shows his vulnerable side. And I find that disturbing to say the least. I love that guys trust me enough to cry and let me support them, and I don’t find that unattractive. My exes have done this and it didn’t kill the level of attraction I had for them. Also, @Kaazaz No women aren’t more emotional. Emotions are complex chemical reactions and just because women express themselves more, it doesn’t mean we’re more emotional. Feelings and emotions highly depend on the individual rather than the gender. The most emotional people I know are men, but those men didn’t seem so emotional at first until after I got to know them really well. That’s when I knew they were 100x more emotional than me lol.
@Sparda20xx Yeah there is a lot of truth to what you say. A lot of men don’t know how to express what they feel. That’s true.
I have to disagree. Incels are a rapidly growing group. And they are growing because they don’t adhere to the standards women desire. It’s like telling women not to look their best to try to be attractive.Men have to be attractive too. But what makes us attractive isn’t just our looks.Women don’t have to be what men have to be. A woman can be a broken person, a useless bum, a woman can be literally nothing and she has no trouble finding dates and love.Men have to be Superman. All women want Superman who is perfect in his confidence, social skills, life advancement, and so on and so on. It’s not easy to “just be a man who does his own thing and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.”Nobody is like that. Most people care what others think.It’s funny it feels to me like you look down on a man who isn’t this perfect vision. “Oh just be confident and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks.” We have to be perfect. That’s why men go crazy and murder people because we have to be perfect, and women don’t.And these things you girls keep saying Over and over, like it’s nothing for a man to be what you want. But you aren’t that way. 99.9% of women are not that way. Women are not forced to be that or else they are discarded.I feel like you’re blind to what it’s like to be a man. You think being a man is so simple. Oh it’s so easy. Just be cool and confident in yourself and the ladies will just be all over you. It’s so easy.
And I think it’s also nonsense that you say only “bad” women are disgusted when a man cries. It’s most women. It’s the majority. It’s the root of toxic masculinity.We exhibit toxic masculine traits so that we can be attractive to women. And women work on their beauty and looks to be attractive to men. It’s like saying a woman who tries to look her best is “doing it only because it’s what men want. And if only she would just be herself and do what she wants, she would be more attractive to men.”No, she’s more attractive if she looks good and she tries to look good because she knows that makes men attracted to her.And so men exhibit toxic masculine traits because we know through experience and observation what makes women attracted to men.And you keep spinning the story of the gentle kind Superman who is 100% confident and doesn’t care about what anyone else thinks. That’s not easy. That takes a life time of work on yourself. Women aren’t like that. If most women were put in a man’s body one day they would be incels. You think you know what makes women attracted to men.I e read so many stories of transgender women who go through the process to become the man they feel they are on the inside. And when they finally present themselves as a man to the world they are crushed beneath the weight of it all, and they have to go to therapy for it lmao.And there’s tons of stories about FTM transitions and how hard it is for them when they finally enter the world as a man.I think women just can’t see it. They are blind to it. You see it from your female perspective now and think being a man is this simple easy thing.
As if only if society would stop teaching men to be toxic we would all live in a happy wonderland of happy positive men who make the world into a utopia of sunshine and rainbows.It’s not easy to be a man. It’s very hard. You think it’s nothing. But go read about trans ftm transitions and see what they say about. It’s soul crushing to be a man and we get through it anyways. Because that’s just our reality and we shoulder the burden of female expectations. We have to be perfect and you don’t have to be anything. You see it as easy but I think ftm stories really show the truth of the matter.Especially the dating stories. These trans ftm think because they used to be a woman, it gives them this massive advantage in the dating scene, and they go out and try to talk to women and get dates and they are utterly destroyed, rejected, ignored, treated like creeps!These are women who knew what it’s like to be a woman and see a woman’s perspective. Who go through the process of becoming a man. And then they finally see the truth. That whatever “insider” knowledge they had was completely and utterly useless.I think women are just blind to it. And I’m sure many men are blind to women’s problems too. I honestly am so happy to see many transgender people’s story because they bridge the gap. And I’ve also ready mtf stories and about how many men are creeps and weirdos.That’s just how it is I guess. Maybe transgender people will be the bridge between men and women and we can finally understand eachother one day. Cuz right now the disconnect is very large.
@Kaazsz https:// youtu. be/0-uv8gT9Kxw*remove the space between // and youtu. be to get the link. GAG won’t let me post links given I’m new. This is a real good video about Norah Vincent. A woman who experimented with being a man for a year. Her insights were revolutionary. The part I like best is at the very end. She was asked “do you think women understand what it’s like to be a man?” and her response was “NO! Not at all. They don’t have a clue.” THAT is main takeaway. Women THINK they understand what it’s like to be a man but they don’t have a clue. I think women like this are the only TRUE way to bridge the communication gap.
@guesswhoseback Yea I've seen this one before. First time I saw something like this was actually this video lol. I'm watching it again it's been fun to watch. Especially when she says to the one guy "you got shorter, what happened?" Lmao that shit made me literally LOL.Something the video reminded me, was that anthropologists and just scientists in general, social scientists, geneticists, so on and so on. If you can dig into some of the literature, there's a lot of interesting things.For example, the way a woman holds her baby. Women hold male babies further from their bodies than female babies. Baby girls get more love and attention than baby boys.It starts from birth, the separation of male and female. And women think it's just nothing. They think men are nothing but scum and it would be so easy for us to be perfect. Meanwhile you have been treated with love and kindness since birth, and boys are treated like animals our entire lives.Some of this can be learned about in this lecture series. It's an actual college semester of anthropology lectures. I'm sure nobody will want to watch it. But if you want to learn about human beings this is the best source I've found with a metric fuck ton of scientific information all in one neatly packed source. I've watched the whole thing, and it's inspired me to read books on anthropology and take classes on it in college. www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL087286BAF7B3D458
@Kaazsz alright we got the evidence. But the question is, what can we do?
Well I think some day nano technology will give us immortality. So all these sexual animal games we play will go away. And who knows what that society will look like, when nobody has to die anymore.
Are you guys ok? And @Kaazsz your comments are like reading an entire novel my brother lol
You can disagree. It’s okay. But that’s how reality is.
Women have zero understanding of men. You can disagree but that's just reality.
@Kaazsz You’re just repeating what I said with a different twist to have the upper hand, but you’ve sadly failed. I’ll explain why. You yourself told me you’re surrounded by very toxic and abusive women who only either use you for their benefit or lie to your face and encourage behavior that you don’t want to do. YOU told me that before. You did that. And this explains why you don’t understand women in general, because you’re surrounded by toxic ones. We’re not all the same.
I never said all women are the same. I just want you to admit that you don't understand men in the slightest. Video evidence provided. Should I really go and find all the FTM stories of female to male transgender people who are hit with the sad reality when they change their gender? Are you really denying their experience? Do you deny the experience of the woman in the video this other dude posted?What would you say to her and all of the women who went through gender reassignment and confirm my view? Women who once upon a time thought the exact same thing as you, who LITERALLY become men, and then share their stories of how they changed their perspective and reccognized reality. I don't know. I suppose it's pointless. I think maybe I'll have to make a mytake. Do a ton of research, find as many stories as I can of women who learn men's view of things. Maybe then I can see some real discussions on the topic. So actually this was a helpful little post here.
Lol, I didn’t say I understood men. Men are like a fucking messy distorted puzzle. Of course I don’t understand you. All I know is that you believe you’re the logical gender (which is downright deluded and narcissistic) and that you tend to over analyze and overthink women’s behavior, which is unhealthy and unreasonable. You do believe all women are the same because you just said “Women don’t understand men in the slightest.” You are generalizing all of us. We are not all the same. And a lot of women understand men more than men understand themselves, that’s why those women can control your behavior and manipulate you so easily.
You know I'm not mad. I love women Navyrobin. You know I do I told you about how I feel. My love for women is genuine, and I have amazing experiences with women.And they taught me how. And I see the truth for what it is. I'm just here to find a way to help other men to see what I see. And I have helped other dudes. On here, on reddit, on forums. I'm on a mission to help men lol.I think I have to repeat something I said before. In cultures where women believe that men must be big and strong, they raise their boys in a less loving way than their girls. They hold their baby girls tighter, closer to the body, and in a more loving manner than their boys. This shit is so deep culturally. You can disagree and say all women are not the same. But those women who are "not the same" are raising their boys just the same as any other woman who lives in a culture that believes what our culture believes about men.This shit is so deep it's beyond simple explanation. It's beyond just a "problem with men." It's a problem with women too. Women believe in the same male masculinity stereotypes as men do and they express it from day 1 of birth of their sons. Its undeniable this is mainstream science. I'm not saying anything wacky here. I guess I really just have to gather the evidence and make a huge mytake that nobody will read lol.
@Kaazsz Now you're going onto a different topic completely that has to do with raising children and your feelings about women. This is not what we were talking about originally lol. You love women, of course you're a straight man. I love men because I'm a straight woman and I enjoy the company of men a lot. But that doesn't mean that I haven't met abusive guys. It's the same for you; you yourself told me that you've met girls that wanted to force you do things you did not want to do, and you weren't comfortable with the way women were encouraging you to not be yourself. They were encouraging you to put up a fake persona...Even if you love these women, it doesn't change the fact that their behavior was abusive. And as a consequence, you got a distorted view of women as a whole. You keep saying "I know women are not all the same" but then you go on to contradict yourself by saying "All women raise their children like this."The original topic was whether it's fair for men to grow up in a society that tells them to bottle up their feelings and "man up", and I said that men themselves are the ones who put each other down. Of course there are some women who are bitches, and who put men down, but most of the people who do this are men who tell other men to "be a guy" and "be strong". Men encourage this way more than women, and that is what people refer to when they talk about toxic masculinity.
I don’t think it’s a change of the subject at all. The reason I mention the science behind this is because women are at fault as well. It’s not just men putting eachother down. Women are a major factor, and like I said, it starts at birth. Boys are held further and less lovingly by their mothers. And mothers hold their babies like this because women feel and believe the same things as what you are saying men put eachother down for. And it’s more than just that. There’s mountains of evidence about the way men and women are separated by culture. Yes we have physical and neurological differences as well. But the majority is cultural.All I’m saying is it’s your fault too lol. Women are not innocent in this problem with men. You teach us from the day we are born that we are less loved and less valuable. And this is mainstream science. I’m not bullshitting you.It’s a fact. Women are just as responsible as men are in this. That’s what I’m saying. And you clearly don’t agree. But I think the science proves otherwise.The only reason I say I love women is so you know I’m not mad. I’m not just another angry ignorant dude on this site that rages at girls everytime they say something. But I understand why they do it.Also, when I say I love women it’s not like what you say. When I was a lonely loser social outcast, I only “loved” women because I was a horny dude attracted to women. Now I actually love women, and I appreciate women. I respect women and I value them as human beings. I want women to be happy and for men to treat them well. And it sucks so many of us treat you like shit.But it’s partially your fault too. Sorry but it is. Single women with no man in the house, raising their boys and implanting the same toxic masculine shit that you think only men are spreading. Women do it first. It starts at birth.
And girls did teach me a lot. Whether they were wrong or right I don’t know. I haven’t become a player who fucks hoes left and right, yet... though I could be. I feel bad to do that though. I want love.The girls who taught me to be comfortable and to love myself, I don’t know if those things they said were wrong or right. But you know what? When I repeat those things that you keep saying are toxic on this site, I get angry blue downvotes, and lots of pink upvotes.I think those girls simply showed me the truth. And it helped me to feel confident and to love myself and to know women can love me too.So I’m honestly very grateful to them. And that’s why I love them so much. And they are my friends and they aren’t bad people or toxic women. They simply showed me reality. And now I always have positive interactions with women. I feel the love! Lol. It’s great.How could they be toxic and evil if they helped me so much? And I’ve helped other guys too to let go of their bad beliefs about women and to free themselves of fear and anxiety.That’s why I don’t agree with you. You think those girls were evil and bad but I don’t think so. I think the majority of women see things the same as they do. You are the outlier here.
@Kaazsz The problem with your comments is that in YOUR mind, I'm blaming all men. But no. I'm not putting all the blaming all men, and I'm not saying women are innocent. This is the problem you have--you put words in my mouth and you don't even read what I said because you don't process it logically, you only process what YOU want to read, which is based on prejudice and bias.I'll help you out because I don't think you understand at all what your bias is.You said this:"You teach us from the day we are born that we are less loved and less valuable." (blaming women as a whole).And then you say:"Women are just as responsible as men are in this" (blaming men and women).You keep contradicting yourself. First, you blame all women, and then you say men and women are equally responsible. Make up your mind.
@Kaazsz I'm not the outlier, because you accepted the point of view of those women, and now you attract women who have the same mindset as theirs. Of course you'll have "positive" interactions with them.You think wanting to touch a female stranger is a normal thing that you should do? That is what those girls wanted you to do. Those girls wanted you to fuck with a girl's feelings. You told me that, and I don't know if we're even talking about the same girls because you told me that you had a friend that told you to be a slut and let girls use you up basically. And you were not comfortable with that, right? Of course not, no one who is a decent human being is comfortable with ruining their own self-worth. but you told me those women told you to do that. I see nothing "healthy and positive" there.
I’m not blaming all women. I’m not blaming women at all actually, I even said “it’s not your fault.”Society is slowly evolving. We are making major revelations in how culture separates men and women. How culture separates gays and trans and any other group.I’m not blaming women. I’m not blaming men. It’s society’s fault. But even so, society is still evolving and learning. We used to be animals and now we’re civilized. The way women hold their babies is a result of culture. Unless it’s just a genetic thing, it’s not your fault. If it is just genetically programmed in women to hold their boys like that, than I suppose it is. But I don’t think there is any evidence that it’s genetic. I’m pretty sure the evidence is that it’s cultural.Really all I’m trying to do is try to convey our perspective as men. Because I feel like if women could see how we see it, you would be better equipped to change our minds. And that would benefit women because a lot of us men treat women like shit.
@Kaazsz Yes, you did blame women. A second ago, you said "YOU do this" (as in, us women), and then you contradict yourself. If you can't keep a logical, structured argument then maybe you should not comment at all, because I can't argue with your two-faced opinions.
@Kaazsz Why are you focusing so much on how women hold their babies? That is not even 1% of what raising a boy is. That is like 0.0005% of the entire raising process.
It’s not two faced. I’m not blaming women as the sole cause of toxic masculinity. I’m just trying to get you to see you have your role to play as well. I just want you to admit it lol.
@Kaazsz "Really all I’m trying to do is try to convey our perspective as men. Because I feel like if women could see how we see it, you would be better equipped to change our minds. And that would benefit women because a lot of us men treat women like shit."Sorry, no, not even half of men have your perspective. This is not a "men" thing, this is a you thing. You as an individual cannot speak for all men. That is what you think, your thoughts are not universal. And it's crazy but you're still blaming women. "You have to understand men, or else we will keep treating you like shit." That's basically what you said. And 99% of men that I've met do not treat me like shit, at all. I'm surrounded by loving, nurturing and caring men and that in itself is priceless.
Actually it’s quite a lot. And that’s only the beginning. Boys and girls are taught every day that they are different. It’s all cultural and ALL of us pass down these things to our kids.Also I’m only trying to figure things out. Because my goal is to help men. And the more I talk to you the better it helps me figure out what’s going on. And you have been helpful as well. So thanks for talking to me it’s been good.
I’m happy for you, that’s great. And I’m not saying it’s up to you to change men. I have my own mission to help dudes who lived like I lived. Who are blind and angry and don’t know why tf women don’t want to be around them.I’m not saying it’s your burden to bear. But imagine if you COULD help out guys who are struggling. And instead of them replying with angry replies they said “wow you really helped me.” I rarely see that happen on here lol. It’s always tons of rage and anger and nonsense going back and forth lol. Can you deny it?I’ve been stumbling around trying to help guys and they would get mad at me too lol. And I’ve just kept learning from what I said and how they responded and updated my perspective. That’s all I’m doing.I know most dudes especially on this site do not have my perspective lol. But I have talked to many guys like dudes on this site and they told me I changed their life. That’s what I want to do. Help people to be happy and to not be so angry at women. That’s all.
@Kaazsz It is also very nice talking to you, except when you contradict yourself a lot... it gets a little bit frustrating because I can't understand what you mean since you have one foot on one perspective and the other foot on the complete opposite perspective... Sometimes you can be a little confusing.And as you already know, this site is full of people who rage about anything and everything, but most of the time it's blue users (I'm assuming most of them are men) that get enraged over something so small. A woman can't be herself here without getting so much backlash. We are not responsible for your behavior if that is what you're getting at (the raging and throwing tantrums on this website).Now, when you talk about raising a child, both parents have to intervene and do equal amounts of work. Traditionally, women were the primary caretakers and that is thankfully changing, but slowly. Both parents have to support their child and tell them that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to cry, it's okay to express yourself. But the notion that "men can't cry" is a very patriarchal one, it's not something that women made up out of thin air. I know a lot of mothers ARE encouraging toxic behavior on their sons, believe me I know (my own mother is like this with my brothers, but my brothers refused to have that mindset). But what I see is mostly men insulting each other and treating EACH OTHER like absolute crap, only because one of them wants to express his emotions and feelings.You get what I mean?
I somewhat agree but honestly there are a lot of women out there who get turned off when men try to talk about their problems. They think they're weak and guys find it emasculating to hear that. At the same time it's hard for us to go to our male friends too because we know naturally guys aren't as sensitive and nurturing as women are.
I sadly agree with this, no matter how much men hate when we say this. Most people who will be supportive of a guy who is crying or showing vulnerability are probably going to be women. It's not society that is putting you down for being emotional, it's men themselves who put each other down for being this way. And yes, there are women who don't like emotional men, but that's not the majority. I can assure you of that.
@navyrobin I agree. Men treat each other way more harshly for expressing their feelings than most women do. There are some women who think that men who express their feelings are weak, but those women have issues.
"Men made the rules".. Not really.. Women mostly raise men, and so it's not like women at large are sayin "We are here for you men if you need us".. Hell naw.. Y'all are just as complicit in this because even if a dude cries you ladies don't care..
@JDavid25 but y’all did make the rules. We’ve literally been living in a patriarchy for like forever. And there are literally tons of women everywhere saying that they’re there for men if y’all need us. There are tons of a feminists that are willing to be there for men when y’all need us. Y’all just accuse us of being liars cause some girl hurt your feelings back in 6th grade or whatever and now all women are demons. If you made a poll, I’m pretty sure plenty of girls would say that they’d be willing to comfort a male friend or partner if he cried.
I think it's not a black and white as one gender made the rules. I think if you go between different cultures you will see varying ways / levels that men express emotions esp. around other men.Not sure, but I have a feeling that there was prolly some culture shift that carried the 'emotionless male' identity around and made it a norm. esp in western civilization.
Hehe! I had a feeling.
@zomegagon Welp I’m not sure about other cultures, but American society has always been a patriarchy. Men have literally always been in power. It was the men who decided how men should behave. Men have the power to change the rules and redefine masculinity. Masculinity is a social concept. It is not set in stone. Pink used to be a masculine color, but now it’s not. You guys can redefine masculinity for yourselves and make it less restrictive.
We don't live in a "patriarchy".. That's a myth perpetuated by feminist.. And men don't make the rules nature does.. But I mean "men are trash" "n@$gas ain't sh! t".. Those are phrases women made up.. But no most women are normal people some who love and some who hate men.. And there are great women out there who really do care about men... But I mean generally as a society.. They don't.. Otherwise there would be more shelters, and people like Johnny Depp wouldn't have lost his court case, and people wouldn't automatically believe the word of a woman..
@JDavid25 We do live in a patriarchy. Men have had pretty much all the power in American society since forever. There’s never been a woman president, only 27% of judges are women, only 4 out of 112 Supreme Court judges are women, women only make up 24% of Congress. In the past these numbers were significantly lower and only reached these heights recently. Y’all have literally had the power for centuries. Don’t blame us because your own biases and fragile concept of masculinity inconvenience your own lives.
It's an abstract construct to explain reality at best, it doesn't exist.. And women always had power through men throughout history.. Like being able to vote through they husbands, influencing they husbands ot make laws and rules.. etc etc.. Also most men haven't had those positions either.. And stories of most men never get told.. -Like how men are more likely to die earlier.-More likely to get attacked, robbed and murdered.-Are most of the suicides. -Most of the homeless population.-Less of college attendees and graduates-53% of domestic violence recipients and 40% of severe recipients.. And that's in straight couples.-When people see a man getting it by a woman they do nothin, but when people see a woman they'll be more likely to jump in.-Women are seen as more friendly and less threatenin. -85% of custody goes to women, and feminist wanted it that way.. With the power they had they made sure that would happen.-Men have literally no bodily automy whereas they are sayin that women need it. So yeah.. Always that's another advantage women have nobody say "fragile sense of feminity".. There is an attack on men and has been for a while.. With the offshoot of the term toxic, or fragile thrown in before Masculinity..
@JDavid25 having power through men is not having power. Having to rely on men is not power. You’re literally confirming the fact that men had all the power. If women had real power then would have been able vote FOR THEMSELVES, and BY THEMSELVES. They would have been directly able to make their own choices, and not by indirectly influencing men. More men die earlier because you make riskier life decisions and are less likely to practice good life habits and seeing doctors regularly for check ups. Men mostly get attacked, robbed, and murdered BY OTHER MEN. Men commit suicide by higher rates because they’re less likely to form support systems and seek real emotional help. Women go to college and graduate more often because we get better grades and typically do better in school. Your stats are false, men only represent 15% of domestic violence victims. Men should create more systems for male victims of abuse. Women are more likely to win custody battles because of gender roles where women are seen as the nurturing parent that handles majority of the parenting. Men literally have complete body autonomy.
Uuuh it was apart of the society back then.. Since the husband was usually the head of the household, they got one vote each household.. And women could vote on local levels and in some places federal levels.. Also most people men or women didn't have power.. That was less than.01 percent of men.. But yes wives of powerful husbands benefitted from their husband's power.. You see unlike people today people throughout history had a system of survival that worked for them.. Men generally took on more responsibility therefore puttin themselves in more dangerous women didn't generally care to put themselves through and in turn seein as they could handle more responsibility, got more power to take care of their families.. People today have it so good they don't know that concept.. "More men die earlier because you make riskier life decisions and are less likely to practice good life habits and seeing doctors regularly for check ups. " That's not necessarily true.. Men die earlier for a variety of reasons, but it's the general rule that men die earlier"Men mostly get attacked, robbed, and murdered BY OTHER MEN." Doesn't matter that's not the point, the point is disprove the so called "patriarchy"..
"Men commit suicide by higher rates because they’re less likely to form support systems and seek real emotional help." Well, when yo children get taken away from you or you are a lover to society unless you are successful then of course you'll commit suicide more.. There are mens rights groups that people blow off and say we don't need and yet men are told they need support groups.. Pssh.. "Women go to college and graduate more often because we get better grades and typically do better in school." That doesn't really get to the bottom of why less men are gettin into college.. If it was men doing better in college and less women were going then feminist would act like it was a crisis for women. "Your stats are false, men only represent 15% of domestic violence victims. " "In fact, in the 71 percent of nonreciprocal partner violence instances, the instigator was the woman."www.mintpressnews.com/.../https://archive.is/4Xf9mmenarehuman.com/.../
@JDavid25 you don’t need men’s rights groups. You counseling and safe spaces for battered men. Men have rights. Now all y’all have to do is create safe spaces for yourselves, the same way women have. Women have created spaces for abused women and seek counseling.
We do need em just for the simple fact that 85% of custody battles the father doesn't win.. Not to mention men get 2x the prison sentences women do for the same crime. Men still have to sign up for the draft in order to vote even til this day women don't.. So but hose definitions y'all have more legal rights than we do.. And not to mention all the ish about toxic masculinity, and how men are just terrible rapey creatures who need to be programmed to act like more peaceful women.. Everything men do nowadays is under a telescope whereas women get away with all types of stuff..
@JDavid25 once again women typically win custody battles because they’re seen as the nurturing parent and do most of the child raising. Men get longer prison sentences cause they typically commit more violent crimes and are more likely to repeat offenses. Plus, most judges are men. Men give men harsher sentences. Men invented the draft. Masculinity in itself is not toxic, but certain aspects of it encourage toxic behavior.
"once again women typically win custody battles because they’re seen as the nurturing parent and do most of the child raising"..So that means that fathers who ask for 50/50 custody should not be able to see their kids? Cause that's what happens.."Men get longer prison sentences cause they typically commit more violent crimes and are more likely to repeat offenses. "I said for the same crimes women get lower offenses.. Not for crimes period, but for the same crimes.. Even if they were both first times offendersAnd there are plenty of woman judges so that's not an excuse.. They don't rule differently.. Women also give men harsher sentences."Men invented the draft."Yeah but did feminism fight to stop the draft? No.. While women were protesting cry "eqaulity" did they say "we want to be drafted like men in the army" or "men shouldn't be forced to serve in the army by draft".. No.. Now I'm not sayin women should be drafted.. I'm just pointin out the inconsistency.. Also there have been queens in the past and they still used men to fight battles.. And to do the hard labor jobs.. They didn't change anything.. There are no aspects of masculinity that are toxic.. Just toxic people cause in that same vain I could say there are aspects of femininity that are toxic and that wouldn't sit right with people of course..
@JDavid25 why tf would women protest to be drafted? Just cause men decided to be stupid and make a rule that forced them to go to war doesn’t mean we have to want it too. No one should be drafted. That’s y’all L. Take it. Y’all created the problem, y’all can fix it.Fathers should be able to see their kids. Even when mothers get full custody the fathers typically still get visitation.
There was a thing in WWI and WWII called the "White feather campaign".. Where not enough men were signin up for the war so groups of women went around and gave men White feather basi5tellin them that they was cowards and wasn't worth anything, and should be shunned by society.. Men became so afraid to get one that they ended up signin up for the army in droves.. And some men even killed themselves because they were deemed physically unfit to join the army.. A girl recalled that her father had came home one day depressed because he got a White feather.. He signed up for the army the next day and got enlisted.. He ended up dyin for his country, but it scarred the girl for life, and she never got over it. So this thing about "Oh men created the draft" Well feminism is supposed to be about equality yet you had women goin around doin that.. Hmph.. Really the "draft" has been around for thousands of years.. And many are not given 50/50 custody.. It's not just enough to see their kids on the weekends and a lot of mothers are not fit to take care of kids.. But also many fathers don't get to see their kids much at all.. Cause the mother took them away.. So yeah there's that..
@JDavid25 just cause the draft was around for thousands of year doesn’t mean it wasn’t created by men. It was wrong of those women to shame men for not joining the army, but they did not force them. Also the white feather campaign was created by Admiral Charles Penrose Fitzgerald, A MAN. It was his idea to use women to shame men into joining the military.
It doesn't matter if it was or wasn't created by men, plenty of women had enough power throughout history to say "maybe we shouldn't assume men want to fight in a war" But no they went right along with it and even encouraged it.. A man was a coward in his wife's eyes if he didn't go to war.. In fact Emmeline Pankhurst and her daughter Christabel encouraged feminist to take it upon themselves to hand out white feathers to every man on the street they saw.. Meaning those women were themselves shaming the men.. And shamin is a thin line from forcing.. Stop makin excuses for it.. The idea was initiated by him but the feminist took it upon themselves to spread the white feathers out.. It doesn't say it was his idea to use women, but his idea to use those white feathers to shame men and call them cowards..
@JDavid25 I wonder why you argue as if the points she gave were invalid. Literally everything @Cherokeehp said is common knowledge and is 100% true.
@navyrobin Because she is simplifying the whole issue.. Feminism is supposed to be about equality yet they don't fight for men.. And a lot of people even ignore mens right, and say "Oh, men already have rights".. She is not makin valid points, just points that simplified and commonly used..
@JDavid25 Yes they do. You should check out a question where the asker says “Is it unfair for men to not be able to wear dresses and makeup?” and I said “Men should be able to wear whatever they want because it’s unfair for women to be able to have freedom in that aspect.”And guess what.. I was upvoted by women and downvoted by men. Men are the ones who restrict men. Most of your limitations come from the decisions other men make. I’m not saying most women are perfect or anything but honestly most issues for you have their roots from the choices YOU or other MEN make.
@navyrobin I'm not talkin some silly arbitrary ish like men dressin like women.. Men already got that freedom and people got the freedom to say things against that silly mess.. Let's stop focusin on the silly stuff and focus on how society as a whole includin largely (especially feminist) don't really give one damn about men except if it's to turn them into somethin more like women..
@JDavid25 I know you think they don’t because you only focus on the toxic part of the feminist group but you don’t see what feminists do as a whole lol
@JDavid25 Even though you say it’s “silly stuff”, that problem has its roots in men making other men have more limits. Men are the ones who put obstacles for you. The example I gave you is one of the millions I can give.
@JDavid25 A larger example would be men making fun of male rape victims because they believe men cannot be raped. So they make fun of them instead of getting help.
@navyrobin I don't think only men do that. I remember seeing a video about confessions of male rape victims. More than half talked about waking up after a party with a girl ridding them. Most interesting part... in most of the cases those girls already had fame to do so to guys they found pass out after parties and no one did anything. If it was the other way around... a guy with fame of fucking girls after they passed out drunk... it would happen one and never again. I am not blaming girls for this, since guys did nothing either. I am saying no one does anything.
@ThisIsMyOpinion As for rape victims, women are a lot more likely to support the victim and seek help for them. Obviously it's not all women though
@navyrobin we should do it too. Sadly it's not taken as seriously.
@navyrobin thank you. I’ve made plenty of valid points but he just keeps arguing.
@navyrobin There is none toxic part of feminism.. It's always been toxic.. Not as toxic as it is today, but it's always been about power for those feminist.. Especially the radical ones but radical feminism has been slippin into the mainstream for some time now.. "Men are the ones who put obstacles for you."... There's nothin wrong with having a standard for masculinity.. A man should be a man.. That's not the problem.. It's all these mixed messages men get throughout society today.. On one hand y'all paint natural male tendencies as toxic and everything a man does is toxic.. You talk about support groups but there's groups out there lookin to support men.. There's been men out there trying to start shelters, but they hardly get any support from men OR women.. Especially feminist.. Back some time ago they mentioned "Bring back our girls" rightfully so from the hundreds of girls that was kidnapped Boko Haram.. But nobody men OR women asked "what happened to the boys?".. Well 10,000 boys were burned to death before they kidnapped the girls in Boko haram.. You can shift the blame to men all you want, but feminist don't do anything except arbitrary things for women.. Its suppose to be about equality, but they don't care about equality.. And men and women don't think that men can get raped, mainly by women.. Everybody believes a man can get raped by another man..
@Cherokeehp... 😂😂😂.. You've made the same points I have always heard.. All you are doin is shifting the blame, missin the point, and skating pass things you can't prove.. You've made a few simplistic obvious points that completely misses the mark..
@JDavid25 so it’s our fault that men don’t support other men?
@JDavid25 dude I’ve literally quoted a variety of statistical facts that prove my point. You just keep reiterating nonsense to blame women for issues men created.
Men do support other men.. There's plenty of male groups out there, includin men's rights groups.. Also you misunderstand.. I didn't say anything was anybodys fault.. I'm not blamin women for what men go through. I was pointin out that women ain't particularly rubbin mens back in general.. I do think feminism plays a detrimental part in the societal misandry happenin, but other than that no.. And I don't remember any statistics data you gave me.. 😂😂😂.. In fact I gave you statistics..
@JDavid25 Do you have a selective memory or something? Women support men all the time and y’all just conveniently never notice it. I’m tired of this conversation. You’re clearly determined to not listen to reason.
I never said there weren't women who support men.. There surely are.. Plenty who actually care about men.. Just like there are men who actually wanna help other men be good men and help them out with problems.. That's why I said in general.. Women specifically feminist don't care about the problems men have.. Y'all only talk about the ones you can blame "toxic masculinity" on.. But yeah you have a nice night.. 😌👍..
@Cherokeehp Men like him just need to have the last word to save their ego lol. Sad asf.
@navyrobin Women like you need to go for ad hominem attacks when you have nothing else to say.. It's not about my ego, I just like to get my point across..
I hate to agree but I agree. If my friend needs someone to talk to I would be weirded out at first, but eventually I'd help him and talk to him. But yea, no you are right. a lot of us a toxic as hell and want to show our masculinity by acting like jackasses to avoid the suspicion that were actually soft little girls on the inside. I didn't understand this until my buddy opened up to me and needed a fucking shoulder to cry on.
A lot of men like to blame women for literally anything and everything... It's amusing but annoying as fuck too. I've also seen a lot of guys who say "Women hate each other" and then say "I hate to deal with women, they bond with each other and attack you if you're a man."You can't win with these men. LOL
There's billions of men, I'm pretty sure they same ones are not sagin 2 different things.. 😂😂.. The world acts like men need to open up and start "being like women" to show our emotions.. No men deal with things in our own ways that help us.. But what happens is that the world doesn't care to give men outlets if they really need help.. Like men and abuse.. The U. S only has one abuse shelter for men and that's in Arizona.. And there was even some feminist objection to that.. But women have thousands of Shelters everywhere.. The government is willing to help women whereas men just need to get a job..
@JamesWilki don’t let these insecure alpha wannabe telling you the opposite dude. You’re fine the way you are. Men that are okay with showing their emotions are just those who are masculine enough to know that it won’t make them look like a bunch of sissies which is so much attractive
If you wanna talk about your issues with someone go see a therapist or talk to your family. No one out in the real world gives a shit everyone has problems and we have to deal with them not just men
Who said anything about blaming women. Or playing the victim. A man could have a horrible job and want to vent about it. Or could have body issues. That's not a woman fault per se, but it's something he may be dealing with. Instead he's told "man up".
@Sparda20xx women have them issues too but we go home and vent about it to are close ones not people who dont care and have their own shit to deal with
Actually, if women have issues, at least from my perspective, you have the opportunity to talk about them. Have you ever heard a mother say to her daughter "Stop crying, little girls don't cry." men on the other hand have heard that countless times from both fathers and mothers! Most of the time men issues add overlooked, therefore we don't have same safe spaces that women do. Not even with out families. This includes the women members of our families as well. Truthfully speaking, I one of the lucky ones, but many of clients when I was therapist reported not having anyone to talk to. That even their own families would chastise them from opening up, and often times it came from both women and men. Therefore to reiterate, no one is blaming women for anything, however, that doesn't change the issue that men can't open up as friendly as women
@Sparda20xx yes I've been told to shut up and stop crying plenty of times especially when i was a child lol i wish i had "stop crying, little girls don't cry" in my house it was "stop crying or ill give you something to cry about" with a raised hand ready to snack my bum. Im come from a very stiff upper lip, strong family but we still talk about are problems my mum and dad just didn't raise no pussy who cries at the slightest bit of difficulty. I don't even think it's wrong to vent to loved ones, i actually said that before.But people outside of your family in the real world have their own personal problems and don't care to hear about yours. As big as a shock it may come to some people, they aren't the centre of the universe. Speak to people who want to talk about your issues with you like a councillor or a therapist and don't expect radom people to care when they have to deal with their own issues like a grown adult.
"I don't even think it's wrong to vent to lvoed ones, I actually said that before". Thats the difference, many men don't feel safe to open up even to love ones. That what I mean.
And yes I've also struggled to talk about my own mental health issues as a women too out of guilt. One time i told my mum i was tempted to throw myself in front of a bus on my way home from work after a shit day and she replied "please don't say things like that, it makes me feel like I've failed you as a mother if i know your not happy in your life". I don't want my mum feeling like that at all and i know most my family would call me a drama queen or a attention seeker if i spoke about my mental health issues. I've tried to kill myself many times but i know people wouldn't understand if i spoke to them about it because im pretty and have a good family, great boyfriend, good health and im wealthy to a certain degree so there for my life is perfect and im ungrateful if i want to kill myself because there's people out there living life worse off than me.
Again, a lack of safe spaces isn't blaming women. It's just stating a perspective
@Sparda20xx it's 2020 and i get in the past men have been ignored when it came to there mental health and i find it extremely sad but now a days there's support for men too and even the media are trying to get men to talk about mental health as well at least in the UK. Only recently there was a programme on the BBC talking all about males with bulimia and their was even some big celebs talking out about it too. If you feel scared to talk to your family you shouldn't be, it's perfectly natural and if they don't care there probably some part as to why you are struggling and you should go see a doctor instead.
It's not as many avenues for men's mental health as you'd think. An article from the NIH's National Institute of Mental Health actually spoke of this disparity. Once I find the article I'll post it.
@Sparda20xx personally i think it depends on were your from. Im gonna assume your from the US like everyone else does on G@g and say yes your country had a massive issue when it comes to mental health not just with men. That's why you have so many people killing each other over there because they have to pay for their medical care and can't afford help so instead let there mental health get out of control
@Sparda20xx actually now I've got onto the topic of crime and murder i might have actually changed my opinion. If a little girl acts aggressive on the play ground and misbehaves it's seen as unnatural but if its a little boy it's seen as a boy being a boy.Maybe men commit more crimes because when they misbehave when they are younger it's seen as them just being bad not a cry out for help but if it's a girl it's seen as them being troubled
I will agree with you with regards to agression. Initially I thought it was just a stereotype, but male bullying is often more physical, whereas women bullying is more mental or emotional. Another factor that also comes into the "men commit more crimes invovles, at least in the US, our perception of innocence some people give women. For example a 30 year old man sleeping with a 16 year old girl isn't viewed the same as a 30 year old woman sleeping with a 16 year old boy. Nevertheless, I agree with your perspective. In current society, I don't like the phrase boys will be boys. It used to be a phrase to explain boys doing stupid, non criminal things. For example, why did your son jump off the fire escape. Ugh well boys will be boys. You don't want to call your own kid an idiot, so you say that. Sadly, now a days, it's used to justify criminal activity. Which I don't agree with.
Fucking soy boy eating artificial sausage made from vegetable instead of pork looking ass
Guys are just afraid to open and be made fun of.
You wrote something important: the emotional capacity to respond maturely. And that's where the failure exist most of the time. That's why many, no matter the gender, grow up with the idea that it is better to keep quiet and don't express inner feelings and emotions. The problem lies there, not talking to the right people or the people who you are close to are not emotionally mature in responding well.
@Rei02 Thank you, Rei.I definitely concur.
Put the blame on our genetic makeup, that’s what causes the connotation, not woman or male culture, we choose to Be this way cos it’s nature for a male to wanna act masculine rather than girly
Imagine if I said being girly was jus caused by culture rather than the dna of females making them behave that way, but instead society made them act feminineHEY GIRLS WHY DONT U ALL START ACTING MASCULINE NOW?
ITS ONLY FAIR
ITS NOT FAIR SOCIETY MADE U HAVE TO ACT FEMININEor did u jus choose to act feminine cos u want to be as a girl?Exactly... same with men... but opposite... so don’t blame anyone like society, we like to be masculine because we wanna be
Sorry for the rant, I jus feel as if my masculinity is being attacked, all the girls now wanting men to cry and wear pink handbags and act girly n shit... doesn’t seem normal to me..
Masculinity isn't wrong, and I believe that there is a reason for why traits are percieved as feminine/masculine. Generally women are more about emotion and value while men about logic, although not always the case. Be masculine if you want, but what Im saying here is that we should be more accepting and supportive on men venting their emotions, its only healthy.
Women are repulsed by a man who shows any weakness whatsoever.
Im sorry about your bad experiences, but Im not repulsed by my boyfriend crying.
@KrakenAttackin no they don't.
And I think most men will think you're blaming all of them, I believe this can be misunderstood quite easily...To the men who read this: It's not that it's your fault for not getting sympathy, it's just that your group of friends or the guys that are around you tend to call you pussy and gay for being a normal human being. If you want to be seen on that same level of empathy you need to start seeing emotions as a human thing, not a woman/gay/pussy thing.
@navyrobin thanks 😊
If you really think half the world's population carry 100% of the blame, you're deluded. Ask guys who got cheated on directly after showing vulnerability whether their male friends were to blame. I'll wait.
I guess that's why men get a lot of abuse and there's virtually no shelters for them anywhere..
There are a lot of people from stopping men from doing this. I knew a woman who openly ridiculed a man because his dog died and he cried. She said he was being a woman. And she didn't want a woman. Men don't always choose to do this. It happens because some individuals don't really cares about men feelings. And when people even try to speak on the matter, it's immediately dismissed as something men should get over or like what you did, say it's something we do to ourselves.
@Sparda20xx I think you’re not understanding that we are supporting you, women also get cheated on after being vulnerable.. just picking that example , but we have friends we can share our pain with.
And when our dog dies we have friends who support us , not partners, partners often think your just hormonal or being a girl.
@wittymilf Any partner who thinks that the death of a loved one, even a pet, is being hormonal is an idiot. If you've ever experience that from a man, I deeply apologize. My point is, whether a partner, friends, or family, men often don't have the same safe spaces as women do. Since you brought up infidelity, I will comment on that one. When I was grad school, I was engaged to be married. Sadly i found her cheating in my own house. I wanted to just fall apart. From both men and women, the responses ranged from " dang bro why did YOU cheat, which I hadn't, too well bro you're free now". Neither of these statements were comforting. It's not as if these friends, which contained both men and women lacked empathy. For when a woman in our group of friends also suffered infidelity, she was showered with comfort and support. When I asked, why didn't I receive the same support she did, the men stated, "I'm sorry bro, I didn't think to do that" The women's responses were "You're a man I didn't think you needed it". NOW you can argue that I need a better group of friends. And you know what, you're absolutely correct. Nevertheless, there was clearly a difference between my heart break as a man and our friends as woman. Believe me, I didn't pick that. I tried to open up to people, just very few would listen. Now what I'm saying isn't an absolution. Some men decide not to open up without prior provocation. Some equate being open as being gay. But then there are some men like me who had very few safe spaces.
@Sparda20xx I’m so sorry you went through that. She’s an absolute piece of shit. I always get shocked by the amount of guys who go through such abuse by their girlfriends or wives. I would never in my entire life do something so low, to a guy that I love. And the sad part is, these women are either very unstable from the start but give a good first impression, or from the very beginning they show that they’re non committal, but guys still choose to date them.
@navyrobin thank you for your concern. Means a lot