Do You Ever Feel Like You're Always Helping Others But Don't Get Help When You Really Need It?

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

I actually have a very difficult time asking for or accepting help. Even when my back is against the wall. I will continue to fight to save my sinking ship.

I see myself as a helper and do all that I can for the people that deserve help. I can't save or help the deer that keeps running back onto the frozen ice and keeps falling into the water. I have just always had to mentality to be the helper and not the helpee. A lot of my close friends tell me this all the time that I try and save everybody. Huge flaw in my character. I do not help others if it endangers others. Like I would never pick up a hitch hiker if my kids are in the car. I usually don't anyways. I would stop and help a stranded motorist if I am alone. I am smart about giving help but it is just hard for me to stand by and do nothing.

I once was in line waiting to check out and this older lady didn't have enough money to purchase what she had. It was sad watching her choose what she could do without. When she had finished paying and putting the bags in her cart. I told the cashier to ring up the rest and I would pay for it with my things and we bagged them up and put them in her cart.

I never asked for or expect anything in return for my help. I usually remain anonymous when it comes to strangers. Friends try to make me take money for helping and I always end up stashing it somewhere they can find it after I am gone.

[caring__1]

The question is whether people are refusing when you ask for help if it you aren't asking for help. Helpful people tend to be reluctant to ask for help, preferring to be seen as the one helping others rather than needing help. Sometimes they'd like others to step in and give a hand, but they're more likely to wish for it than ask for it. If people refuse to give help when asked, question your reasons for choosing those individuals to help. There are always plenty of others you could help.

Sometimes, helpers train us to accept rather than participate. When this is the case, the people being helped may believe the helper would see it as a slap in the face if others reached out to help, implying the helper needs help. Not wanting to be disrespectful and unappreciative, they may keep their distance.

People often don't recognize the difference between helping and rescuing. When we help, we put our arm out and say to the other, "You can lean on me while you do it. I believe in your ability." When we rescue, the rescued person feels pushed aside while hearing, "You're too stupid to do it yourself, so I'm going to do it for you." Rescuing leads to dependency, and dependency and feelings of inadequacy go hand in hand. The more dependent people feel, the less they'll believe in their own ability to do things. People who rescue do so for selfish reasons; no matter how much they claim it is in the best interest of the ones being rescued, it never actually is.

[Alyssa11]

I am that friend that everybody leans on and comes to when they need help or advice. I know I play a really big role for my friends. But I am also perceived by them as the friend who's always got her shit together and to be honest, I breakdown too.

I just pick myself up alone whenever I find that I do...

[DizzyDesii]

I usually help others when i have the time. I dont expect them to help me in return because i know i dont commit to anything outside of a relationship. So if acquaintances are not there when i need em, it sucks but its understandable because we’re not “friends”

[ProfessionalMusician]

Yes, seems like it

[msc545]

Just occasionally.

[loggydogy]

Yes Always.

[rapfan107]

Always 🤪

[Gedaria]

A little...

[colin77]

Yep yep

[Nachowedgie]

All the time