Does this make me a horrible person/friend?

Anonymous
So I went through a really bad breakup recently & I've been really struggling to deal with it. The whole situation has been really hard, it’s knocked my confidence, self esteem & I just feel really down.

My best friend has been recently texting me about how this guy she is seeing is doing really cute things for her, sending screenshots, pictures and is just really happy. Obviously as her best friend I’m glad she is happy and want the best for her. But hearing this in the emotional state I’m in is really making me feel worse.

It’s hard to hear her talk about all the nice, cute things this guy is doing for her because it just makes me realise even more how little I actually meant to my ex and maybe part of it is some jealousy.

I obviously want to be happy for her but I also know listening to it isn’t helping me heal or move forward. Is it selfish of me to ask her to keep the details to herself? - I know with Christmas right around the corner she’s going to be discussing what he’s gotten her and right now I’m feeling extremely low and down.

She also hasn’t really been there to support me, I’ve asked her a few times if we could meet and talk as I’m not doing good and she’s been too tired or is always with the guy she’s seeing or busy seeing other people. Which is hurtful as whenever she’s needed me I’ve dropped everything in a heartbeat to be there for her.

Im just feeling very alone right now & like everyone’s last priority & no one ever seems to be there for me when I’ve constantly been there for them. I know I should be my own priority but it’s hard dealing with this when were in lockdown and I’m stuck inside with my thoughts. I just really don’t feel like anyone cares about me & it’s just making me want to shut out everyone
Does this make me a horrible person/friend?
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