Having first child with someone who already has one and being told their way of parenting is right because they already have a child?

Question

Every time I bring up slight differences in parenting styles I keep getting the I’m already a parent card thrown in my face. Do you think this person is correct in saying this and I should listen? Or do you think there should be respect both ways in that yes I respect the fact that he has already parented but also respect the fact that maybe I want to do it a little differently. This will be my first child and I feel like the experience is already be taken away from me

Answer 1

SueShe | 235 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

Being a parent does not mean that the person does the upbringing/education correctly.

It might be in the eyes of that person but from a strict parenting point of view, there are multiple ways to educate a child. None is perfect and everyone has some flaws.

The education methods of 1960 are obsolete and today's parenting ways will probably also be passé in 2150. To be a good parents means that you have to learn it by yourself and not blindly accept what others are doing or imposing.

You can accept a few advices that seem to make sense but it is solely up to you to educate your child to the best of your knowledge. And it is only by making your own mistakes that you will learn the correct way as you perceive it.

Avicenna

15 d
I have to disagree to some extent- you can benefit to some extent from advice from experienced parents, although you need to synthesize it together with other information you have and your own experiences.
Avicenna

15 d
Her partner may not even be much older than her.
SueShe

15 d
@Avicenna I can agree with you to some extend.

One is very often influenced by the education/parenting type received and tends to apply it to the own children. That does not mean that it is pedagogically correct but I understand your reasoning of course.

Answer 2

Avicenna

I have to disagree to some extent- you can benefit to some extent from advice from experienced parents, although you need to synthesize it together with other information you have and your own experiences.

Answer 3

Avicenna

Her partner may not even be much older than her.

Answer 4

SueShe

@Avicenna I can agree with you to some extend.

One is very often influenced by the education/parenting type received and tends to apply it to the own children. That does not mean that it is pedagogically correct but I understand your reasoning of course.

Answer 5

Anonymous

Well they do have experience but doesn’t mean what they did then was right but it worked, I’m sure there should be some compromise if you want to do things differently that won’t hurt the baby either way, I’m sure the mother of his last child did most of it anyway

Answer 6

Avicenna | 1.2K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

There are some aspects in which this MIGHT be true, but that shouldn’t be used to automatically invalidate your perspective.

Avicenna

15 d
Can you be more specific about what the area of disagreement are?

Answer 7

Avicenna

Can you be more specific about what the area of disagreement are?

Answer 8

Iron_Man | 2.5K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

Work it out if you don’t like the guy then Move on

Having first child with someone who already has one and being told their way of parenting is right because they already have a child?

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