Was I Right To Get Rid Of A Friend Who Just Kept Ditching Me For His Girlfriend?

Question

My friend kept ditching me for his girlfriend and woukd keep texting her 24/7 when I confronted him about. He also would hang out with her for so long that our plans kept having to be cancelled. When I told him about it he just told me she wanted to see him a lot and he didn't see anything wrong. He never acknowledged my feelings and often acted selfish when we hung out again. Was I wrong to end our friendship.

Answer 1

btbc92 | 1.2K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

To be honest. No. Having a girlfriend is no reason to emotionally neglect your friendships. That's a bit different when married. She just wants him all to herself and doesn't want him to have a life outside of their relationship. There needs to be balanced in every relationship you have. And it's wrong. You're his friend and you have needs too. Maybe you went a bit too far not being his friend. But you have to do what you have to do to protect your heart. A real friendship has a healthy balance of friendships, unity, and platonic intimacy such as hugs and of course kisses on the cheek. Not that perverted nonsense. And even better, you can get together and hangout as friends, not just as partners and or even if you have a partner. That's why I believe dating friends is better depending on your intent because you don't always have this problem. But if a stranger you still learn to befriend people and build a community together. Today it's just selfishness.

oriolesfan3322

12 d
Yeah and they are going to move in together after 1 year of dating which I don't know but he just spent most if not all his time with her but when I did the same to him with another friend then he got mad cause I wasn't there for him so I ended it.
btbc92

12 d
Just know it's probably just sex. Not to judge. But that is usually what happens when couples get sexual or too sexual very early. A person with a brain and common sense don't rush this and are better off saving sex for marriage anyway. But people don't wait and then lose most of their relationships with people because they assume they're doing what is right, but isn't.
oriolesfan3322

11 d
Yeah I told him he was still in the honeymoon phase and he swears they have gotten into arguments but I don't believe it. He actually admitted he had sex with her with his parents in the house.
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btbc92

11 d
Arguments have nothing to do with the honeymoon phase. But that he just wants to have sex. Period. That is how much he is in it for. It's nothing to do with a relationship. Just sex. That's what people do when it's mainly just about sex. A normal stable relationship isn't like that.
oriolesfan3322

11 d
Agreed he says he loves her but they have been barely dating a year and are now moving in together sounds like lust to me
btbc92

11 d
There are people that love each other and can move fast if it's really meant to be. But what you're describing is lust. Just straight lust. Nothing love about it
oriolesfan3322

11 d
Yeah that's what I think of it as cause to me it seems like he is a little puppy chasing her around

Answer 2

oriolesfan3322

Yeah and they are going to move in together after 1 year of dating which I don't know but he just spent most if not all his time with her but when I did the same to him with another friend then he got mad cause I wasn't there for him so I ended it.

Answer 3

btbc92

Just know it's probably just sex. Not to judge. But that is usually what happens when couples get sexual or too sexual very early. A person with a brain and common sense don't rush this and are better off saving sex for marriage anyway. But people don't wait and then lose most of their relationships with people because they assume they're doing what is right, but isn't.

Answer 4

oriolesfan3322

Yeah I told him he was still in the honeymoon phase and he swears they have gotten into arguments but I don't believe it. He actually admitted he had sex with her with his parents in the house.

Answer 5

btbc92

Arguments have nothing to do with the honeymoon phase. But that he just wants to have sex. Period. That is how much he is in it for. It's nothing to do with a relationship. Just sex. That's what people do when it's mainly just about sex. A normal stable relationship isn't like that.

Answer 6

oriolesfan3322

Agreed he says he loves her but they have been barely dating a year and are now moving in together sounds like lust to me

Answer 7

btbc92

There are people that love each other and can move fast if it's really meant to be. But what you're describing is lust. Just straight lust. Nothing love about it

Answer 8

oriolesfan3322

Yeah that's what I think of it as cause to me it seems like he is a little puppy chasing her around

Answer 9

anexi

Xper 4

Flaking on your friends is shitty. He actively chose to ditch you for his girl repeatedly. That indicates an unreliability that you just shouldn't have to put up with tbh. If he can't respect your time, then he is not worth your time. I'm sorry you had to cut him out, but I agree that it was probably the right decision to make.

oriolesfan3322

11 d
Thanks yeah like one example is we were supposed to watch a show together at 8 one day and all he had to do was drop off his gfs food and leave and it got to be 9 and he got mad cause I cancelled cause he is still with her
oriolesfan3322

11 d
Or I mean was still with her
anexi

11 d
Yeah, that sort of behavior is unacceptable treatment of friends. Him getting mad at you for cancelling is his immaturity showing. You made the best call.
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oriolesfan3322

11 d
Yeah and the worst part was is I had friends on video chat when we were playing videogames and he wouldn't let it go even though I forgave him for all the times he ditched me he was very childish had to say goodbye to him

Answer 10

oriolesfan3322

Thanks yeah like one example is we were supposed to watch a show together at 8 one day and all he had to do was drop off his gfs food and leave and it got to be 9 and he got mad cause I cancelled cause he is still with her

Answer 11

oriolesfan3322

Or I mean was still with her

Answer 12

anexi

Yeah, that sort of behavior is unacceptable treatment of friends. Him getting mad at you for cancelling is his immaturity showing. You made the best call.

Answer 13

oriolesfan3322

Yeah and the worst part was is I had friends on video chat when we were playing videogames and he wouldn't let it go even though I forgave him for all the times he ditched me he was very childish had to say goodbye to him

Answer 14

WindAtMyBack | 80 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Explorer

No, don't ditch him. Be glad that your friend found someone he likes so much. Be happy for him. This is totally normal as you get older. Girlfriends, wives and family become top priority. That's the way it should be. That doesn't mean friends are no longer friends. It just means the relationship has changed and you will see less of them.

Don't dump your friends. He has to be allowed to grow and mature in life. He's an adult now, and things are going to change. It's completely natural.

I have friends I've known my entire life, literally since we were babies. I see them less than once a year. Sometimes it's been more than ten years. But they are still friends. They have wives who are also my friends now. I've known some of the wives for more than 40 years. I've met most of the children, some of whom may be having children of their own soon. This is the way of things. Don't expect things to be the same as when you were young.

oriolesfan3322

11 d
It's not that it's like when we were young but like as soon as he met her he cut me off a lot to go hang with her when we had plans or forced me to cancel out plans cause he was with her
WindAtMyBack

11 d
I know. It happens and is very common. She is his whole life now. He may or may not stick with her. Either way, things have changed.

Canceling plans is not cool. It's OK once or twice, but it should not become a habit. He shouldn't make plans if he thinks he can't be there. It's somewhat understandable, but it's still rude.
oriolesfan3322

11 d
Yeah if it was once or twice it's fine but he did it frequently and I just didn't want that disrespect in my life especially when he got mad that I was busy

Answer 15

oriolesfan3322

It's not that it's like when we were young but like as soon as he met her he cut me off a lot to go hang with her when we had plans or forced me to cancel out plans cause he was with her

Answer 16

WindAtMyBack

I know. It happens and is very common. She is his whole life now. He may or may not stick with her. Either way, things have changed.

Canceling plans is not cool. It's OK once or twice, but it should not become a habit. He shouldn't make plans if he thinks he can't be there. It's somewhat understandable, but it's still rude.

Answer 17

oriolesfan3322

Yeah if it was once or twice it's fine but he did it frequently and I just didn't want that disrespect in my life especially when he got mad that I was busy

Answer 18

Avicenna | 1.2K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

Probably, given how unreliable he was

Answer 19

Iron_Man | 2.5K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

Yes you did the right thing

Answer 20

Anonymous

yes, you were right

Was I Right To Get Rid Of A Friend Who Just Kept Ditching Me For His Girlfriend?

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