What was the hardest part about growing up in a 2-parent household?

[flamiE]

They were both workaholics lol it turned out not so bad as they were dragging me with them to help running their business hence why i have really good money management skills and am pretty disciplined cause I was treated like an employee a lot of the time lol. I guess it was hard back then but now I see the purpose of it and am grateful that they pushed me to be like that from young age but deep inside I’m like, but I never got to be an irresponsible kid. Do stupid things like play outside in the snow and enjoy it, i’d always think “yeah just 10 mins cause it’s too cold and then if I get ill someone will have to stay at home with me which won’t happen and they’ll have to work and take care of me which will make them very tired and that just won’t end well”.. sometimes I just want to not think about the circumstances but now it’s turned into this chronic overthinking cycle and I can’t seem to be able to escape from it.

[Prettygurl12]

I grew up in a two-parent household. I was raised by my biological parents and both took a very active role in my rearing.

My parents never fought in front of me. Whatever difficulties they may have had, I was sheltered from.

My parents demanded success from me. Excellence was the expectation so that was stressful, but not unreasonably so. I was blessed to live in a financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy household. I did not realize how good I had it until I moved out lol

I legitimately thought we were maybe lower middle class. Upon moving out, I have become aware that no, my parents are very much NOT that. I had a phenomenal childhood and it's my goal in life to have the type of lifestyle my parents have.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

My parents were in some ways the best I could ask for and in other ways really terrible. They wanted to be supportive and stuff, and in a lot of ways they were. But once they started to make money my mom would compare us with all the neighbors. They would get into arguments. She got more and more selfish, I often had to mediate because she would throw things and hit my dad because she knew he doesn't hit woman.

Looking back, she probably thought I was beginning not to love her and maybe that's why she constantly tried to attack him, to bait him into hitting back. She always tried to tear him down no matter how often he turned the cheek.

I remember going to school and having no friends, waiting for the bus by myself, walking home by myself and being in an empty house until my parents got home. Sometimes they'd be really late. They never called me to let me know. Maybe that's why I have communication problems. Lol it never seems like much to me to just keep going about my day until someone asks why I never hit them up.

The hardest part was when the divorce happened. I remember telling my dad that he could give my brother all the special treatment because I was sticking by him no matter what. (he was very young, and to be short the situation got very messy) I saw it as saving my brother. But after that, they made me do a testimony. I was reluctant because from everything that happened, it seemed like a slam dunk case for my dad. They made me tell the whole story of how my mother abused him for years and the short version of that story is, they showed the origional document to my mom (they assured me only the judge could see it) and then used an edited version in court where they totally changed what I said.

My dad almost didn't want to talk to me. Until he realised they did a similar thing to him.

My mom and I didn't talk for about 10 years after that day.

We used to be a happy family. Before the divorce, the hardest part of having a 2 parent household was honestly when they weren't around.

[Anonymous]

My childhood was not the greatest. My mother is a workaholic working long hours at the hospital as a nurse. My dad was an alcoholic so every time he would drink and come home drunk he would abuse me or my sister. He did this from when I was as young as 4 years old til I was 16 years old. My siblings and I would often get dropped off at our aunt house, grandma house, and babysitter house as early as 6am til 7pm. All day with them, though I had fun at these folks houses. It was one day my mom came home early from work and tried to pick us up from my babysitter house. We refused to go with our mom because we didn’t know who she was. My mom was furious with our babysitter as she thought our babysitter wanted to (steal us) from her (my mom). It was just that my mom rarely came and got us so we just forgot who she was. My brother was never abused by my dad. My mom would emotionally and verbally abuse me while my dad would physically abuse me sometimes while my mom would watch. He would beat, slap, choke, suffocate, punch, kick, and do lots of other things to me. I would often show up to school with bruises, busted lips, cuts, burns, and other scars on my body. I was traumatized from this and often neglected. My mom and dad would often fight throwing things at each other. When I was 5 years years old my dad tried to hit my mom with a frying pan and instead hit me when I tried to stop him. It permanently left me with a traumatic brain injury where I stopped speaking and functioning for 2 months. I was just not myself anymore. As I got older I saw a therapist and was diagnosed with autism, social anxiety disorder, chronic depression, ptsd, generalized anxiety disorder, and schizophrenia. I told my family and friends about the abuse from my father but no one would believe me because my father was likeable person in the community. I went through a dark period in my life and forgave my father and mother for the torture I endured as a child. When I got to be 14 I started dating, by 15 I first had sex and had relationships with men. I wish I didn’t experience an awful childhood to know what it feels like to grow up in a none dysfunctional family. But I can’t take back what happened just learn from it and make my children life better.

[WindAtMyBack]

I can't think of anything. I never once saw my parents argue. I never heard them raise their voice. My dad drank a little but not very often and I never saw him anything close to being drunk.

Probably the biggest contention between my parents was religion. But I didn't know about that until I was well into my adulthood.

I suppose another contention was that they both wanted to move, but not to the same state. So they just stayed put. It didn't affect me in any way. They didn't argue about it, but I knew about it.

I really can't think of any problems in my childhood related to a two parent household. Two parent household was completely normal when I grew up. Divorce was very rare. The first time I knew anyone with divorced parents was grade 6 when I found out a friend at school had divorced parents. I'd never met anyone like that before and I felt sorry for him because it sounded terrible. Like how could anyone not have two parents? The first time anyone on my street where I grew up got divorced was after I was an adult and not living there any more. My parents, and all my friend's parents stayed married until one or both died. They all made it 50-65 years of marriage until one died.

[Cherokeehp]

Well my biological dad left before I was born, but my step dad has been in my life for as long as I can remember. My mother and step father have never really had a good relationship. They don’t have anything in common, and my mom doesn’t really respect him because she’s a lot smarter than him, and he has a lot of social issues. He had a pretty traumatic childhood and so he’s generally anti social and not very comfortable expressing feelings. I’ve never heard them say I love you to one another, he’s always fucking something up and she never hesitates to call him stupid, and he doesn’t really spend much time with us. I’m surprised their marriage has lasted this long, but it’s at its end now. My dad is a workaholic. He’s a prison guard. He’s rarely home, but when he is he treats us like we’re in prison. No visitors, no noise, we have to go to our rooms, and all chores must be completely immediately. My mom is a perfectionist and a bit of a narcissist. Growing up she had impossible expectations for me, but now she denies all the pressure she put on me and all the ass whoopings she gave me that sent me spiraling into depression. My siblings were raised completely different than I was. My mom is much more lax with my siblings and my step dad has a better relationship with them. He doesn’t spend much time with them either but, he constantly attempts to bribe them with gifts and money so they’ll love him. Honestly, no one in my family has a healthy marriage. It’s made me a bit pessimistic when it comes to love and raising children for two reasons. 1.) Marriage is a trap. 2.) Everyone in my family is fucked up and they fuck up their children and I’m terrified if I have one I’ll fuck it up as well.

[sheikalana]

Honestly this is awful to say but I've always wished my parents would divorce one day. It never happened and I think it never will. My parents are complete opposites my mom is the sweetest human being on earth caring, loving and hates conflict. My father is the opposite self-centered, narcissist, loves to raise his voice, never accomplished anything in life but critisizes everyone. I never had an easy relationship with my dad. I remember my parents used to fight every week but my dad was always the one starting the conflict he never physically abused my mother but I also don't think he's the nicest to her. A few years ago my father decided to quit his job and since then never got a new job and never bothered to look for another job it's been 7 years now. I left home 6 years ago and my brother left home 4 years ago once he started working. My mom is the only one working and still has to do everything at home, buys him stuff, buys him trips with everything included, he spends her money and it disgusts me the way he treats her. He spends days without showering. Growing up I hated their relationship and nowadays even more but I know they will never leave each other, if my mom leaves my dad he will be a miserable homeless and she knows that. I was also treated differently compared to my brother because I was born a woman and never had as much freedom as my brother. In conclusion my mom is a huge inspiration for me but my parents as a couple are exactly what I don't want in my life when I become a wife and a mother.

[Finchie40]

I grew up with both my parents and brothers , my Dad was an abusive drunk in the beginning
But calmed down through the years and my Mom was an enabler , but they always took good care of us , with good foods and nice clothes and nice roof over our head, they were both hard workers with good jobs so we were well taken care of in that aspect , But as parents they didn’t really do a good job at parenting part , considering we did no wrong , but when we were young kids they did spend a lot of Time with us and took us places etc but when we hit teenage years it was like it ended and I barely Knew my parents , it was like I was just there, when my Dad would get drunk and it was a 50/50 chance on whether he was going to be cool or a Dick , when he was a Dick he would put us down and call us pieces of shit and told us to get good jobs , so if you consider that guidance he did guide me that way because I always been a worker lol My parents were also fine with me having party’s just as long as we didn’t have the cops show up , they rather us drink in the house rather then going out and getting in trouble , their rule was whoever is drinking you are sleeping over, my friends loved coming to my parents because they basically left us alone. As I got older and got married and had kids my parents didn’t really care that they have grandchildren my parents again are all about themselves , very selfish people , they choose not to really be in my kids lives and my kids don’t even really consider them grandparents because they barely know them , I still call my parents from time to time but I pretty much accepted the fact they don’t want to be a part of me and my kids lives only when it’s convenient for them , They are old now and will probably be dropping dead soon so maybe I will grieve and regret a lot of my anger or not really care , I still love them I just really don’t know them

[art84]

Myy dad worked 24/7 but my mom basically ran the house with being strict and enforcing the rules. I honestly didn't really have a childhood per day. Like instead of just me and my brother, my parents did foster care for school age children. So basically grew up with two or three or four children who weren't related sharing a house. I try not to remember that as I felt my parents showed those children more attention than their actual children. I guess my parents wanted children after me and my brother were teenagers but decided to foster. After me and my brother were in high school, my parents did decided to do foster care again, but we only did it for like 3 years. I liked it cause I was older and got to take care of children who came from the shelter. It was fun and I felt as those children were apart of my family. They took a liking to me and my brother which was the closest to us having a younger brother/sister. My parents took really good care of them but it's a shame that they had to move from our home. They went to live with another foster family and that was the last I saw of them.

[DJB72]

My brother was killed in a road accident when I was 12. It kind of dominated everything. It's been over 30 years now and she's still not fully come to terms with the loss. Everything was "Marmaduke, you can't do that! Remember what happened to Percival!" (not our real names - not ready to share those on this site yet)

My memory of the day Percival died was the hospital giving us the coat he'd been wearing and when we got home - he hadn't actually died yet - my dad standing at the kitchen sink trying to wash his blood out of it - so he'd be able to use it again - with tears streaming down his cheeks because the doctors had said he wouldn't ever wake up. He died a couple of hours later.

I remember about a week before he died we went cycling to a local stately home that had a deer park together. We'd just started doing things like that together - he was younger than me and I hadn't wanted him getting in my way. I guess my biggest thing about my childhood is missed chances not just with Percival, but with my parents as well. Dad died at 56 of cancer and so I missed sharing a lot with him. My wedding, his grandson.

I daresay anyone on this site who knows me in real life can work out who I am from some of the stuff I post, but for now I value my privacy. My childhood memories are painful, but I'm glad of the few I have - even though it hurts to remember.

[angelgirl7]

I'm very lucky that I'm 24 and my parents are still together. But you're right, it's not all that it's cracked up to be.
My parents often don't see eye to eye. Sometimes it feels like the only reason they stayed together was because of me.
They both liked to drink and party and I don't think either of them ever really planned on having kids. When I came along it feels like my mom grew out of the party mentality while my dad would rather still be living that life.
It was especially hard being an only child and homeschooled for most of my school career. Spending so much time together with no escape often caused a lot of tension.
I'm grateful they're together though because I can't imagine where either of them would be if they didn't have each other. They may not always get along but they kind of balance each other out.

[jennifer_bloom]

My mom was always hitting my dad and both were mentally and psychologically and emotionally abusive towards me and both neglected my health and nutritional needs so that with two parents I got double the abuse that single parent families give to their children - Also when my dad is miserable from being abused by my mother, he releases his anger by abusing me because he is too scared to talk back to my mom and when they slander me and spread lies about me they have a higher chance of being believed because it’s two liars against one honest person - Almost everybody I talk to in real life thinks I lie or exaggerate when I say my parents abused me very badly because I’m not accusing one parent of illegal neglect but two

[Evergreen79]

My dad was only a weekend dad, so we saw him every other weekend because he lived 60 miles or so away. My mother worked 10 hour days, 4 days a week. My mom worked her butt and was super frugal but we never went without anything. My dad was really good about paying child support but sometimes it was late. My mom mostly paid for my braces. My dad got into a relationship early and eventually remarried. My mom hadn't even had a boyfriend after my dad until I was like 19. She then married that guy down the road. I was teenage parent and my mom helped provide for me and my daughter until I was 18 and moved out. The hardest part of having split parents was that I didn't get to have a real relationship with my dad after my parent's divorce.

[lilyanony1]

My parents couldn't see eye to eye.
My mum wanted a man like my grandfather. A man who worked and lived for his family but she was with a man that was a business owner worked odd and long hours, and networked a lot, charming and had a roving eye. Why he did that we don't know. But it could be because my mum played dumb games and refused to tie the knot some may say this lead to his dissatisfaction despite staying. Who the bell knows all I know is that their relationship left me really anxious. And I didn't want to settle down even though I said I did. I think that's why I've always ended up with emotionally unavailable men or in recent times been the unknowing other woman.
Since I don't want to be the other woman anymore I'm now staying single until I feel ready to get back out there with the right one sent for me. If that even exists.

[Alyssa11]

My parents dated since they were teenagers and they're still in love today. Arguments happen here and there but nothing major and if anything, it's something I look up to and it gives me a lot of hope for the future.

Having said that, I also know they sacrificed a lot to get to where they are today and a relationship like this one isn't just rainbows and sunshine.

My main issues was probably the extended families on both sides and how they interacted... now that is a whole other story. To keep things short and simple it wasn't easy or healthy to be in!

[Anon621]

My parents constantly fought each other every day. As a kid it was kinda sad to watch two people constantly argue every day about the same past mistakes or whatever. I dont wanna put anybody down but I always felt like my mom would always bring up the same stuff all the time but would occasionally talk about new stuff. I love my family to death but trust me when you sit down at the table for dinner and your whole family starts annoying you and your mom and dad argue about the same stuff every night you say to yourself "I'm glad I'm gonna be independent again soon". I always here my parents say that arguments make a marriage stronger but I never really fully understood how arguing about the same thing every single night makes it stronger to me it seemed like it was just two repetitive bots speaking to each other with no disrespect intended.

[Jerre]

My parents were very sexual. After I was 13 when I had my first fuck, I realized my parents were fucking all the time. Even with the family watching tv, they fucked in front of me and my sister. Sometimes they didn’t even pull a blanket over them, sis and I could see dads cock going in and out of moms pussy until they both came. Sis and I got to the point where we would both masturbate watching them. My sister, was a year older than me, and would often ask to jerk me off while I fingered her. One time we noticed our parents watching us, my mom commented on how big my cock was. When sis and I started to cum, I shot a big load and she commented on how much cum I had. The hardest part was not fucking my sister.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Getting yelled at twice. If you fucked up mom would scream and yell and punish you. Then you would have to wait for dad to come home so he could have a turn to scream and yell and punish you. I mean damn, some times I did deserve to get yelled at and punished but doing it twice doesn't exactly help (it should be done once and then be over).

[Jjpayne]

I'd say, the fact that my parents argued a lot. It was hard to keep the peace and sometimes I as the kid had to be the grown up for them. They argued about various things and whenever they "broke up" I was the peacemaker which was so annoying...

Even to my father's final days I was still trying to maintain peace and helping both of them to move on

[DanaeAdam5]

My parents were workaholics which didn't bother me that much I liked being alone.

The hardest part was how traditional and close minded they were. Plus they never seemed to understand that I have the right to have my own beliefs.

Like when I was bullimic my dad kept calling me fat and my mother didn't do anything except telling him to stop it.
Or when I told them that I don't believe in God my dad decided to keep bringing up how religious he is in every single conversation.

[Anonymous]

Them thinking that being together “for the kids” was better when clearly it wasn’t. It was toxic and I recall more fighting than getting along. They would argue and yell and swear and break shit. It caused me and my siblings to look at relationships differently. My brother legit has commitment issues from all this. He’s petrified of settling down with the wrong woman and making the same mistake. Because of this, he’ll only have sex with women and rarely date them. He feels uncomfortable showing affection. My sister ended up with a shitty guy (not as bad as them) too.

[alice55]

Seeing them fight (both physically and with words) especially since my father was extremely sick (heart disease) so he needed to stay calm the most possible but he's a hothead so it didn't stay calm a lot and I was always extremely worried.
When I was a child I just watched them fight and cried but when I grown up i put myself between them when they physically fighted.

[Anpu23]

My mother divorced my father when I was 5 she has since been married five additional times. Most of my childhood was with just my mother or with my mother and her parents. She married my step father when I was 15 and he passed when I was in my late 20s so he was, by and large, my father. We fought like cats and dogs for most of it. But I learned a lot from him both as a positive role model as well as things I don't do as he also had some horrible habits.

[Snakeyes7]

I dunno how common this trope is but there tends to be a case where one parent is blatantly more authoritarian than the other. You might get a tongue lashing (or worse) from one over something that isn’t really that big of a deal, really petty or completely innocuous, the other parent jumps in to defend you but nearly always fails because they are trying not to piss the former off even more. They fight for quite a long time and the whole house can hear them. Or the other parent sides with the former and you can tell that they are doing it because they are clearly afraid of the alternative.

[Unit1]

When they are both such idiots, that you think they have reached a new record in being idiots. And now add being penniless to it as well and them blaming their mistakes on you!
And all their bad choices in life affect you as a child completely. Even if you're the winner and ambitious type of person, you will suffer from poverty and basically living like a beat-up homeless one.

By that time the sentence "money is everything" becomes more understandable than before.

[pleasestopthis]

We had some issues like any other family, but I would be lacking a lot if any of my parents were not there. If I had only mom, or only dad, fights would still exist, so I can't blame the two of them for the fights. They fought, yes, but like any couple they had good and bad times.

[Riddler1412]

The only "bad" thing that happened is that, as the older sibling, I had more responsibility than my younger brother.
Example: At 10 years old, I'm mature enough to do certain chores. My brother, at 10 years old, somehow isn't mature enough to do those same chores, so I still have to do them. Both my parents saw nothing wrong with that.

[beebella]

I have a blended family, so there was a bit of family drama every now and then. There was a period of my childhood when my dad wasn't home (by choice) a lot of the time, but that didn't really bother me until I was already older and that time had passed.
So, I guess just the drama that came with my family.

[Ballzdeep]

Both drank and mom still is, had no real emotional support and didn’t no how to express them. Fathers still cold but, mom and I grow closer over the years because told each other it’s ok to feel like that. Don’t drink myself, always wondered if it had something to do with it.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Having both of them ignore me for the short time we lived all together.
Thankfully they did me a favor and pissed off pretty soon.
Now I'm repaying the favor by adequately ignoring and turning them down regularly, with some other favor thrown on.

[Anonymous]

My dad was a narcissist my mom seems well- absolutely perfect. Well my dad enforced what he wanted me to do upon me, One time he was beating me and I decided to let go of feeling because I couldn't do anything else, I resisted to the point of seeming to go into a numbness to protect my true identity. I am now what they term Schizoid and am not understood by others. Complex. I'm starting to rehabitulate.
I just resented my father because I saw my mom as innocent, and I felt that he manipulated her emotions.

[AdithyaR]

I've honestly not had any problems. My parents are absolute angels. They honestly did parenting right, taught me to build my own sense of right and wrong, so they never had to raise their hand on me cause I never got into trouble. They let me choose my beliefs and my own life choices while also helping me make decisions and supporting me through it.

[Apple1996]

The fights have to be the worst. I remember a few times as a kid where I had to break up the fight cause it got so bad. If they did it in another room it wasn't bad but having to be in the middle of it is just something a kid shouldn't have to go through. My parents did almost divorce when I was 8 but they ended up just taking a break for a year then getting back together. I do wonder what life would have been if they did divorce tho.

[Wiredone]

I had basically a normal 2 parent family. Yeah my dad drank but wasn't an alcoholic. Yeah my parents faught once in a while but they always kissed and made up. But my dad came home from work every day Around 6pm. My mom stayed home to tend to us kids and the house.

[Anonymous]

Both of my parents didn’t work at times. I guess the hardest part about the bills not getting paid is the fact that there were 2 of them. I couldn’t respect that neither of my parents wanted to work. With me and my other 3 siblings to look after, it made me feel unimportant. Like none of us were worth it to them.

[Puppystarfish23]

Me "dad I need help with something"
Dad "I'm busy ask your mum"
Me "mum I need help with something"
Mum "go ask your dad I'm busy"

[lightbulb27]

Hard? Dad worked sales and gone all week. Never faught but their negotiation dance was interesting to watch.

Should only have 2 parent households.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I was always the go between. "Give your dad this." "Tell your mom I said..." I hated it because if they pissed each other off, I was the messenger so I also had to be the mediator.

[Trooper205]

For the 7 years I had life with Both my parents, up to the Death of my Father, nothing really went wrong, except for the constant absence of my Father. Being a Pilot, it means lots of time away from Home. (I later learned that He spent lots of free time with His planes, and not with Us)

[AffectionKing]

Weekend visits and holidays that you're used to spending together you now spend alone with 1 parent at a time. I was 6 y/o didn't understand but it gets better over time.

[Paolaa988]

One parent is opposite from the other. My dad was strict, still is, my mom is more down to earth and chill.

[KingDio]

I can only go off my dad and step mum here when I was doing dad's turn to have me... the hardest part would of been all of it and when they fought just how away til it was over

[I_Am_Sazerac]

The hardest part was trying to get away with something because instead of one pair of eyes. You had a second pair that was just as watchful if not even better at catching you. That and hearing them debate on the punishment 😂.

[StarryCrossing]

Yeah my parents constant bicker and argue. I can’t wait to move out. It’s mostly my father causing issues though.

[jamesgoldman]

The fighting... my dad would leave after those for anything from hours to days at a time
Now they are divorced and are both better for it

[worldscolide]

I didn't get that luxury... All i got were my mother parading all of her "clients" around the home, Listening to her fuck, and seeing her on drugs all the time.

[Paulychicago10]

Parents fought. I was beat. I was never given anything that would help me. I never got support from my parents. I asked for help and never got it. Never got to drive anything to my jobs when I had them. I always had to fend for myself.

[Mehzmeh]

I have no idea. My father did marry multiple times. But, he would always choose me over them. When they were like, he needs to go live his mother or my grandmother. It would happen all the time. Because, I, was his first. And I, just like him.

[FlyGirl95]

Never having clothes to wear, and always having someone speak negatively about the other parent.

[Minxxie]

All the fighting and arguments.. I was relieved when my parents divorced.

[mimi051998]

They argue a lot but it’s normal in a relationship to have your ups and downs. They don’t go to bed angry so that’s good😂.

[Gedaria]

Dad wasn't really around. He cleared off when I was about 10 .
Mother was always at work so I had my 3 sisters to look after me. During the day I got different teachers, come in..

[fxllenone]

Most of the time they fought over ridiculous things. My mother was the problem and my father should have put that woman in her place, and everything would have been ideal. He didn't, and she is the same abusive woman she was when my father was alive, though she does not have any control over us anymore.

[r_r_g]

I grew up in communism. Everyone was having sex with everyone else, married people/parents just as much.
There was so much fundamental betrayal both my parents relationship, their marriage and the system fell apart.

[SphynxUK]

I get up with domestic abuse. That was the tip of the iceberg.

[Andres77]

When they work together so the kids can't manipulate them. I hate when that happens

[gangster123]

They fight.. but if you ignore that - there are lot of benefits growing with couple (parents)

[siseñor]

are most kids with divorced parents are better off?

[Avicenna]

I didn’t grow up in one for the most part, do I cantcrealky say

[SenseiSeptred]

They fought a lot to the point that I would keep myself playing video games to try to drown out the noise.

[Diversity_Hire]

I almost wish there had been fighting, lol; the silence and lack of communication was damn near deafening.

[icequeen03]

It was hard to sleep with fighting. And you always wondered if you were the blame, and if they would get mad at you