For those WITHOUT them: If you ever had kids someday, how would you want them to turn out?

Question

I'm an American ESL teacher here in South Korea. I don't mind children when they're well behaved, but never want to have kids. Mostly because I have sh*t genetics (am short, ugly, overweight, dark, have Hypothyroidism, etc) and always have. I wouldn't torture another life by making them have what I have. Even if I DID have kids, I could only ever imagine having a daughter and only ever imagine her looking more like her mother, whether she's from my trash DNA, a stepchild, or adopted.

There's two students I had back that made me think "If I ever had a kid, I'd want them to be just like her." The first student was Korean, around age 10. She was well behaved, extremely smart but a bit quiet, a karate student who was nearing a black belt, and generally kind-but-feisty, if that makes sense. Like, she didn't show-off much because she was so overly skilled in many things, and didn't want to make anyone feel bad or overshadowed, but if someone tried to challenge her or pick on her, she could easily stand up for herself or rise to the challenge. And this girl was only ten, yet she had more maturity than most adults I know (especially when it came to American politics). She legitimately made me think "Damn I wish I could've raised such a future bad-ass like that!" Like, if I was a parent, I'd be ridiculously proud of her.

The other student wasn't my second-favorite. She was just 11 or 12, but acted like a mature, well-behaved 17 year old. Koreans are generally not that expressive and kind of reserved or timid. But this student was more like an American girl, or a Korean-born, American-raised student in how opinionated and sarcastic she was. She was also smart, mature, and feisty without being annoying. A child you could have intelligent classes about life and philosophy with.

Anyway, it got me thinking: How would you want your non-existent child to turn out? You can also pick an age for them in describing them, as well.

Answer 1

flamiE

Xper 7

I’d want them to turn somewhat like me but not entirely; be more forgiving and not as sensitive. Take the best from both parents.

I’d do my best to make sure they’re well educated, emotionally stable, mature for their age and that they’re confident in themselves. I’d teach them hard work and not knowing what giving up is. One thing I really, really want them to be able to do is think about the future and keep in mind the decisions they make today and how they’ll impact their life. In other words pick what’s progressive and their future self will thank them for and not what’s easy and feels like they’d want to do in the moment. Then I can step back and let them live their life and make their decisions.

Answer 2

modelUN242

Xper 7

My parents are short, I'm short, but my parents are tall. Being dark-skinned has its perks, you don't get skin cancer and sunburns. Also, black don't crack? Overweight is something you can control so that's not genetics. I also struggled with thyroid issues, got blood work done, but now it's much better through proper diet, stress management, sleep, and exercise, but mostly diet.

So, I would definitely want my future kids to have qualities of me and their future dad? I wouldn't like them being rebels and being completely different, that would be disappointing. I mean if I had like 8 kids and two of them were rebels, whatever.

Answer 3

Jamie05rhs | 410 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

You don't get to choose how your kids will turn out. Statistically speaking, with the way things are going these days, they'll probably end up being sex workers. So you might as well give up now.

Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Please excuse my cynicism. That isn't really my actual attitude. If I ever became a father, I would pour my heart and soul into raising my children right. I would not accept failure as an option.

Answer 4

Jamie05rhs

Please excuse my cynicism. That isn't really my actual attitude. If I ever became a father, I would pour my heart and soul into raising my children right. I would not accept failure as an option.

Answer 5

Jjpayne | 1.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

For me, I'd like them to be fun loving, supportive, and giving towards others. To be refreshing towards others and help to inspire others. Something like that

Jjpayne

1 mo
Thank you for the mho 😊

Answer 6

Jjpayne

Thank you for the mho 😊

Answer 7

menina | 607 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

" Mostly because I have sh*t genetics (am short, ugly, overweight, dark, have Hypothyroidism, etc) and always have. " - So according to you dark skinned people shouldn't have kids? Black people shouldn't exist? If you believe in this, you clearly have a serious problem.
If I ever have kids I would like them to be decent human beings, smart, confident and honest.

MCheetah

1 mo
Can you please stop projecting bullshit onto me that I never said? I seriously hate when people put words in my mouth.
menina

1 mo
You said that nobody wants to have kids with you because your skin is dark. Not me.
menina

1 mo
Ok, I'm sorry. I misread your post. You just said that you don't want to have kids, so they don't have the same issues that you have.
However it sounds like having dark skin is an issue to you, just saying...
Show All Show Less
MCheetah

1 mo
"You said that nobody wants to have kids with you because your skin is dark. Not me."

1. I'm referring to my actual skin complexion, not ethnicity.
2. My overall physical appearance is the reason I was depressed throughout my entire twenties because I didn't choose it, yet couldn't do anything to fix it, and was shunned by 99% of women I talked to because of it.
3. The overall way I look is why most women I've hit on have not been attracted to me, and my complexion is definitely a reason given several times (regardless of their race and including other dark skinned women), even if other ones are far more prevalent.
4. Other black people can potentially look fine, which is why I specifically said my *genetics* and *dark* and not "being black."
5. I'm not 100% black, anyway. I'm half black, one quarter Afro-Cuban, and one quarter Dutch.
6. As I said in another post, I really hate the racial mascoting and don't owe jack shit to you or any other "black people."
7. I really don't give a flying fuck what other people think about my situation or not. They don't have to live as me, so imma say what I want to say, and that's that. If you don't like it, that's what the Block button is for.
menina

1 mo
I'm actually black, so I don't know what you mean by "black people". I'm not here to say how you should live or what you should think or say.
Like I've said before I misread your question and I already apologized for my words. You asked a question and I answered like some users did it.
I'm not looking for an argument and I'm not going to block you. You're free to think whatever you want.

Answer 8

MCheetah

Can you please stop projecting bullshit onto me that I never said? I seriously hate when people put words in my mouth.

Answer 9

menina

You said that nobody wants to have kids with you because your skin is dark. Not me.

Answer 10

menina

Ok, I'm sorry. I misread your post. You just said that you don't want to have kids, so they don't have the same issues that you have.
However it sounds like having dark skin is an issue to you, just saying...

Answer 11

MCheetah

"You said that nobody wants to have kids with you because your skin is dark. Not me."

1. I'm referring to my actual skin complexion, not ethnicity.
2. My overall physical appearance is the reason I was depressed throughout my entire twenties because I didn't choose it, yet couldn't do anything to fix it, and was shunned by 99% of women I talked to because of it.
3. The overall way I look is why most women I've hit on have not been attracted to me, and my complexion is definitely a reason given several times (regardless of their race and including other dark skinned women), even if other ones are far more prevalent.
4. Other black people can potentially look fine, which is why I specifically said my *genetics* and *dark* and not "being black."
5. I'm not 100% black, anyway. I'm half black, one quarter Afro-Cuban, and one quarter Dutch.
6. As I said in another post, I really hate the racial mascoting and don't owe jack shit to you or any other "black people."
7. I really don't give a flying fuck what other people think about my situation or not. They don't have to live as me, so imma say what I want to say, and that's that. If you don't like it, that's what the Block button is for.

Answer 12

menina

I'm actually black, so I don't know what you mean by "black people". I'm not here to say how you should live or what you should think or say.
Like I've said before I misread your question and I already apologized for my words. You asked a question and I answered like some users did it.
I'm not looking for an argument and I'm not going to block you. You're free to think whatever you want.

Answer 13

Dinklex3 | 115 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Yoda

I'd want her to be just like me so I wouldn't have to consistently worry about her, especially during school.
If I had a son I'd want him to be just like his father so he'd know how to get through with him.

Answer 14

Passionfruit03

Xper 4

Physically I would want my kids to be at least average height with curly hair since I have curly hair. I’d want them to have my love for languages and music. Overall I just want them to be decent and compassionate human beings.

Answer 15

Stoner710 | 183 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Yoda

I would like my kids to be exactly like Donald Trump (see how many dislike I get).

Answer 16

hellionthesagereborn | 181 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

As decent human beings who were well rounded and of good character.

Answer 17

Iceseeyou25

Xper 5

Beautiful and well adjusted human beings. I don't want them to be like me. I swear I think I have a few screws losse.

Iceseeyou25

1 mo
Anyway, what would you do if your child had a disability?

Answer 18

Iceseeyou25

Anyway, what would you do if your child had a disability?

Answer 19

pleasestopthis | 297 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

I hope they can have a mix of good qualities from me and their father's. I hope they are healthy loving children with kind hearts.

Answer 20

JosyJosy | 872 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

I want to look at them proud and say "Yes, I didn't throw more morons on the pile"

Answer 21

Mijopapii215

Xper 3

I don't want kids so I cannot even entertain this question lol.

Answer 22

lanadelrey25 | 120 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Yoda

I want a tall, respectful son who loves his mom more than his dad.

Answer 23

Tyrese101

Xper 2

I want them to turn out as law abiding, stand up citizens of society.

Answer 24

ayomanwya

Xper 5

I’d want to be like me but look like their mom. I wouldn’t want my kids to have to go through what I did

Answer 25

masonova1

Xper 2

Dude, at the rate we're going, I'm not sure if my kids are GOING to turn out.

Answer 26

Iron_Man | 2.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

I want them to turn out like me iron

For those WITHOUT them: If you ever had kids someday, how would you want them to turn out?

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