And to answer the question, its easy to find but hard to find a genuine friendship
I'm the exact polar opposite lol, I'm the type of friend who treats friends like family, I also hate alone time because it's boring, and if I have a girlfriend or like someone, I don't say anything to my friends about it because thats private life stuff. I also didn't have bs with friends in school, me and my hs friends get along great, and to me isolation feels like more work than friendship.I have genuine best friends, and I tend to ignore the rest of society the same way I ignore celebs, and I prefer to talk about video games, funny things, science, fictional worlds, and other stuff, because social lives are meh for conversation to me (i don't care about gossip and honestly find it annoying).Even a girlfriend would have had to start out as a best friend first for me (I can't get romantically attached otherwise), but lately any new friends I make are half my age, and 99% are male, and it just seems like the adults are harder to find, and adult women 99% harder than that. even when I go outside, go shopping, or really anywhere, it seems like most of the people walking around shopping or standing behind a storefront counter are men, as if there are simply more men than women in my area.In school it forced lots of same aged people to interact with eachother, but as an adult, workplace populations are a LOT smaller than school ones were, so even in a large business setting, it's harder to meet adult friends for me outside of hobbies, but my only social hobby is gaming, and for whatever reason it's mostly men online. If I don't find a reliable way to make new, genuine friends with adults soon, I'll end up staying a virgin and never get married. All my adult friends are guys I knew from highschool or from gaming platforms or a job.
Yea i dont see friends as family. I mean sometimes i’ll view the dudes as brothers but thats more so an excuse to say im not attracted to em. I like alone time from 7p-10pm when its tv show time. I like for people to know who im dating. And i thought i had good friends in Hs but nah they just got pregnant by my ex. I found video games cool as a kid but grew out of them by time i turned 21. I may play a game one week a year now. I like to build friendship and relationship at the same time. If i focus on just making them a friend first then i’ll lose attraction to them and start liking someone else. And yea in school and at work, my friends were almost always way older or younger than me. Whoever i date are same age as me which i prefer. And i dont think friendship determines your course with marriage/virginity. I think you just need to create a strong emotional bond with the person first and let them know that you want more than friendship AFTER first building a friendship. You gotta be straight up with your intentions
I mostly outgrew tv in favor of video games, mainly because the lack of interactivity made it boring ( I tend to crave a challenge, but I hate real world risks, and I love fantasy and sci-fi, so fighting games, character action games, kart racers, and shooters, are my "sports"). I still watch anime, or marvel, or jurassic park, or star wars stuff on occassion, but it's like maybe a few hours a month, wheras with games it's long sessions every day. I don't usually have to tell anyone if I'm dating, in most cases they already knew because the girl i was dating at the time was also their friend too, and we all knew eachother long before I dated her and I tend to go for the ones who agressively flirt with me openly, it's very much like you would expect on a 90s sitcom tbh. It's less dating, and more, friends, best friends, then girfriend.
Something you said struck me as odd though:"And i dont think friendship determines your course with marriage/virginity. I think you just need to create a strong emotional bond with the person first and let them know that you want more than friendship AFTER first building a friendship. You gotta be straight up with your intentions"See the thing is I don't understand that logic, to me friendship IS the strong emotional bond (but then as I said, I treat my friends like family, or actually better than family since I don't talk to my actual family and will bend over backwards for a friend). I also view a girlfriend or wife as a best friend i'm sexually attracted to, as in she has to be a friend first for years for me to even develop the kinds of intentions you are talking about for her. I inend to make friends, which, if any lead to a relationship will be a crap shoot I won't see coming.There is a mix of reciprosexual and common interest discovery involved, so without prior friendship for years, i don't know what I want out of someone, so I can't be "upfront about my intentions", because I don't have prior intentions with any given person, their actions make me fall in love, or not. I make friends, and eventually sometimes she sways me into thinking yeah, i guess she's right, I should date her", but thats because of the developed friendship and her being lewd and flirty with me after knowing me a while. Being hot is not enough for me to develop intentions, porn has tons of hot women, and you couldn't pay me $10 googlplex to fuck them.
I guess that makes sense. For me, i can see how a guy interacts with others and that helps me get to know him without actually knowing him. Once i express my interest in getting to know him further, its because i can see a future with him but want to be for sure. I dont need years to get to know someone. But 3 months to a year is enough for me. He needs to know i want to be more than friends so that he doesn't think im intentionally friendzoning eachother. A lot of guys dont state that they are romantically interested so us girls automatically friendzone them and then whine to them about some other guy we’re crushing on
I'm too busy with hobbies to observe aqquaintences, and for me that kind of public interaction observation not enough to tell anything. I wanna know her better than her parents do before I know how I feel about her. Every secret, every quirk, every talent and failure, every pet peeve and personality flaw, every hobby, opinion, interest, goal, etc.As far as "the friendzone" I've never experienced that sort of thing, I don't flirt first, and being zoned into a best friend usually has me on the defensive to fend off her prematurely flirting. I almost always have to act like I'm not interested just to be allowed to take it slow enough to know of I am or not.my issue has never been getting her to like me, all my friends like me, even the picky ones, it's always been finding the type who I like back thats the problem, and i need to increase the pool, because right now it's full of non starters.
Im not religious, so church was never a thing for me. I have zero interest in raising a family, and even considered a vasectomy. I also hate alcohol, so bars aren't a thing either, and arcades, while fun, are expensive, too loud, and I mostly see kids there with the occasional adult guy :l I feel like most adults are too impoverished to keep their hobbies, and without social hobbies I can't connect with people long enough to become friends.
Thanks for the MHO
I prefer work from home type jobs, so I'll have to pass on that.
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Other employees eh? I'm too niche for that, odds of a like minded person sharing the same work location as me are so small it might as well be zero.Even in school, out of the entire school's worth of kids my age, I clicked well with less than a handful.
Ok. I've found people into all sorts of stuff, but to each their own.
I have a hard time finding like minded people in general.
The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!