Is life really u fair for everyone?

Anonymous
A little over 10 years ago I lost my father, just a few days before my birthday. I was turning 13. 2019 I graduated then came home to find my mother battling colon cancer. Thank God she’s survived and her health hasn’t deteriorated more than “usual”. I hate that there is a “usual”. She has Diabetes and BP issues. I was unemployed and helping nurse my mom for a good year after graduation. 2020 got my first job, wasn't perfect but it was something. 2021 was fired from my first job because my boss hated me ( sentiments were shared I didn’t take their BS and I was ready to quit either way) December 2021 my sister dies a sudden death pending investigations. In this time my peers have travelled, dated, bought houses and cars. Just when I thought our lives were getting stable and we were finally being happy again since Dads death this happened. I’m working yes but it’s not full time and my pay isn’t set so supporting my mom will be tough. I have two other siblings both married and with families. My sister who passed didn’t even get a chance to start a family. All we have are memories. I know people die, but now I’m living with the constant question of who is next? I always thought we’d all grow old together, my siblings and I, and hangout together with our kids and grandkids but now…living is just pain. The day my sister died, there was no indication she would. Same with my father, I spoke to him hours before he passed. I saw off my sister as she left for work the day she passed. Only to be called later by her boss (she worked in a hospital) that she passed.
I’ve been crying everyday since. It hurts. Now tell me, is life supposed to hurt so much? How do you live going through so much pain while seeing your peers being happy. No family losses in years and some none at all? Everything going according to plan? But your life always with the bumps and challenges? I want it all to end. I just want to be with all my family again without the pain.
Is life really u fair for everyone?
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