How can I stop crying over every little thing?

[Anonymous]

Every time there’s a small inconvenience in life, I always cry about it. Like today for example, my aunt was trying to give me constructive criticism. Knowing how she is, she can come off as a bit harsh and stern and I know her intentions aren’t meant to be rude but I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from forming in my eyes.

Even if someone asks me to go get something for them and I can’t find it, and when they point it out right in front of my face, I get so irritated with myself and break down.

Why can’t I just react to things normal? It’s as if my emotions are 10x worse than everybody else. I’ve even broken down in front of my boss 3 times just because of little mistakes.

I’ve accepted that I’m an emotional person but I feel like I have zero control over it and I feel like an adult crybaby.

[Traumasurgeon]

Ok so here's the pill you’re going to have to swallow. The fact you cry over every little thing is your fault. Basically what happened is, when you were a child and therefore new to this world everything is new to you. As a result if something bad happened to you, it was traumatizing. Today it would take your family members dying to traumatize you. When you were 4 all it took was your toy breaking. This however can be fixed with a concept called shadow work. Now I will warn you this is a brutal process. I have personally brought 3 of my friends through it and once it starts it does not stop its ruthless. Your brain runs through all of your personal trauma and you get super down about yourself for 2-3 months. But once that time is up you mind solves the problems, Lets the old trauma go and you will feel like a completely new person. Its amazing really I dont understand why this isn’t used by more psychologists.

POINT OF NO RETURN:

here's an example: You encounter a guy at the supermarket. He starts yelling at you because you accidentally bumped into him. Your reaction to him yelling at you is you crying because you dont know what to do. Now picture the same scenario accept Im there. he's yelling at me now. But I have a different emotional response. I yell back at him and walk away. Those are 2 different reactions to the same emotional stimulus. This means that the previous experiences people have shape their emotional reactions. If you want to stop crying, stop getting angry, stop bipolar. You need to figure out why you get offended. So everytime you start crying now. You need to zoom out from the fact you’re upset. Realize you’re upset, and ask yourself “Why did I get offended? Why am I crying” and search in your mind for a memory that made you this way. Now here's the kicker, you’re not gonna like the answer. You’re gonna repulse it. Its gonna come from the depths of your mind where you dont want to do. But you will get an answer so don’t worry about it to much. You only have to do this once. Then the process starts. If you have any other questions I would be happy to help.

[ohsheeT]

Are you stressed out do you feel depressed snap out of it a lot of times when people are getting talk to they don't know the answer to something crying is a mechanism to give you time to think it could also be a sign of depression but I would have to know you could to know that what other things do you cry over do you feel empathy okay do this for one week straight when you look in the mirror send yourself I don't care what other people think or say or do I'm going to make a choice today I'm going to choose who how and who I want to be by the things that I say and do and if nobody likes that they can go f*** themselves to be honest with you I feel energy coming from you that you just feel things very very deep make it a point when you wake up in the morning and I mean fight it with everything you have no matter what I was talking to you just keep making use of I'm not crying today you can't make me cry f*** you I'm not crying I'm not going to cry for anybody anymore

[itsalyssaagain]

It’s actually a sign that you’re overall stressed out and under too much pressure or you’re just really unhappy with life.


I know this because I go through what you’re going through in a cycle. When everything’s good, things don’t bother me. But other times when things get hard, I’m very bothered about everything and always cry.


I guess the first step would be to address what’s stressing you out or making you unhappy. If you can change that, then do it. If you can’t, accept it or find some kind of way around it. Perhaps looking at it from a different perspective or approaching it differently.


The next step would be to remember that crying doesn’t change anything.


Remember the above.


It’s perfectly healthy to cry from time to time because you should release bad emotions but if every inconvenience is making you cry, then that’s not good for you. Time is passing by and the things you need and want to get done have to get done. You can’t get them done nor can you transform your life if you’re constantly crying over every little thing.


Remember you can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react to things.

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

Ahh, so it sounds like your self talk is super negative and overly critical with how you dont seem to be able to give yourself grace when a mistake takes place. Start looking up articles on how to improve your self talk, and inner critic. That should be a good starting point as that will then help you lessen the feelings of overwhelm that causes you to cry as much as you do. As you with then be able to self soothe yourself and reassure yourself that, " yeah this happened but Ill be alright."

Also there's nothing wrong with crying but I understand how it can feel out of place in certain situations such as at work or not being able to find something quickly.

[LilyoftheLake]

I'm so sorry! That can be really embarrassing...

I think more important than learning to not cry would be learning to delay the tears - crying helps you to get rid of "dirty pain," or pain that isn't helpful, and it helps you to feel "clean pain," pain that helps you improve.

Something I do is I think of something really stupid - like a purple zebra with a party hat. The confusion cancels some tears, at least for a little while.

That's just what works for me, though. Try experimenting with different thoughts - happy, funny, sad, angry - whatever works.

[goodgirlsteven]

baby, god made women emotional creatures enjoy the fact that we can burst into tears about anything and express our emotions I love that I can cry about anything now! as a boy I was always being told to shut up and not cry because boys aren't suppose to cry its terrible that as men they can't express themselves which could possibly help with there health. I dont like being a hypocrite but I wouldn't stay with a man who cries all the time but you should be glad you can and not be shamed by it

[Blackcosmo]

Hey no worries I'm like that too. I cry over a lost pencil and I thought I was the only one! I guess therapy might help and I've considered going but I have no idea. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[DoctorSex]

Get professional help my dear.

Filling out this personality test might be of help. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Kind regards,

[Anonymous]

Oh god same it is so embarrassing. I guess the only way is to hold it in or try until you get good at holding it but that is repressing your emotions which isn’t healthy. Crying is a natural response and it helps relieve stress it has many benefits. You learned to express your emotions that way. It has a negative connotation but you are just emotionally sensitive which is not inherently bad. I get feeling like it isn’t good though.

[Pinay_ako]

Hugs.. sorry to hear this. You just have to maybe listen constructively listen to every word or situation thrown your way. This world can be cruel but it’s not always bad out there. Just put a brave face on and always remember you’re not alone… Keep a journal and process your thoughts and put the good things instead of the bad. Talk to a friend. Hugs again

[SaartjieJane]

This is me😬 girl I wish I knew how to not cry lever things.
I once played music a bit too loud and my friend came to tell me to turn it down because it was too much, I felt so bad I burst into tears.
I’m not one who can give you advice on this question…

[TwiNshichamp1]

@SaartjieJane Iam really sorry to hear this, I hope you will find a way of getting out of it.

[JakeS00]

Sorry to hear this! You accept things and know many things don't need tears. You understand no one is trying to be personal, being mean to you or going to be mad. I had this issue years back but I got out of it, thankfully. It takes time and people should be understanding of this issue.

[TwiNshichamp1]

Are you a Cancerian? If so we have many feelings and sometimes we need to pour them out and it's by crying. Is like put down a dozen of a huge bulk from your heart. What I may advice you, is try to control your feelings towards things, or reach a Psychologist for help I believe you will doing great afterwards!!

[Lexi_87]

Do you have any history of depression? It's normal to be emotional from time to time, but if it's to the point that it's interfering with your daily life then maybe you could speak to your Dr and see if there's any help you can get

[Adam1978]

You need to learn to accept failure and disappointing people. Without seeing it as a disaster. Ie learn to reduce your expectations of yourself so it's aligned with your skill level in what you are doing.

[jshm2]

You're not sensitive, or an empath. You need to develop some thick skin as bad family has turned you to mush.

Maybe get into some sports or martial arts classes to develop some discipline.

[Anonymous]

I guess if you can't fight it, your next step would be to get used to it and adopt some strategies to manage situations triggering your emotional responses. I often have a runny nose and i can't do anything about it, so i always carry a full pack of tissues with me wherever i go. Develop similar plans to manage your emotional outbreaks.

[Chaser3232]

There is a medical condition that causes this. You may want to see if your dr will help you get a neurologist to check you out! My wife suffered a stroke and even cried at commercials.

[Smashingdoozy]

Get your hormones checked. Talk to your Dr about it. These are not normal reactions and you do not have to live with it.

[jbobbio57]

Toughen up and try to think of something else. Let things go and slowly you will get better with your emotions. Change is hard but if you stick with it, you'll get it.

[Literalbillionaire17]

I am the same way sometimes. All of my emotions end with a bit of crying except for when I’m happy. I realized that I benefited from seeing a therapist 2 times a month. Maybe this could help you? Hope you find what works for u :)

[VanessaValentine]

Get really mean shitty parents that desensitize you to everything anyone could ever say to you. That’s what happened to me.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Study stoicism or Seneca in general it may help with perspectives


“A rock cannot be polished without friction, nor man cannot be perfected without trials”
-Seneca

[Aiko_E_Lara]

*Hugs*

That's trauma and not sure how exactly it's treated. Maybe professionals can help. But a basic thing I can tell you is to try to interpret it in a different/positive way until it becomes a habit.