Are you a supportive friend when it comes to your friend’s love life or you’re the doubter?

[Pinay_ako]

Supporter

Doubter

Depends

I don’t have friends

[UnknownSwede]

In general I'm supportive. But I also try to be real with them. Like when a friend was dating a married woman and I was talking to him about how it didn't seem like a good idea.

[ChooChooHaha]

Did you really say that? I would've just been blunt: stop being a homewrecker, and get out of there.

[UnknownSwede]

I didn't say those exact words, but I did definitely discourage him.

[ChooChooHaha]

Ah ok. Good.

[Matt-G]

I'm in their corner like a lion.

[Lynx122]

I try to be supportive but sometimes it's hard. I know this girl she just got out of a 8 year relationship and she had her next boyfriend lined up before she left the old one and I was like wtf. She wants to pretend like everything's great and stuff but she wouldn't be doing this if she wasn't afraid of actually taking a minute and processing things and assessing her life. I on't think she wants my advice so I'm kind of torn on what to do tbh. Maybe I'll just keep things to a minimum and just say great and good for you even though I think things will not end well. Or I might stop talking to her all together because she's so focused on her relationship and she talks about it a lot. And I'm not that interested in pretending everything is great when it's not. But I also know some things you can only learn from experience so I don't know I might just tell her I'm not interested in talking to her about her relationship and she should hit me up when she's through this phase or something I don't know. What would you do in this situation?

[TenderFantasy]

Well, I'll listen but it would really depend too on them. If they like their relationship the way it is, then who am I to come in between? ! If he/she/they see red flags, then they should be SMART enough to do what is necessary? Um, I think the older you are, the more you get experienced with life and relationships and to know what works for you and what doesn't. Sure, no body is pefect but still.. If they need a shoulder to cry on or vent, I can try to be that, but otherwise, like, they should really be GOING to the person they are having a problem with, I think. It may help to get clarity more so in that way. I don't know their relationship as much as they personally do so really, my advice would only be coming from WHAT they've told me really. I have to kinda HEAR from the other person's perspective to really decide? But yeah, advice from outsiders is really just that.

[CaptainOverthink]

I tend to lean toward being supportive by expanding upon their thoughts of the situation, by offering alternative lines of perspective.
Both positive and negative, but I will try to look at it in a way where I give 'space' for the person who isn't a part of the conversation, I play the 'devils advocate' a lot.

I will also be open about my point of view, which is that I am looking in from the outside, that I am expanding upon a 2D-view and that whatever is said between us only serves to broaden the perspective and hopefully bring them out of their head about it for the moment.
Because it's easy to double-down on suspicion and be locked into a puzzle that require you to file down the pieces in order for them to fit, at that point you are no longer operating in the interest of truth.

[Beatrix7]

yes most deffinetly a helpful person to friends family even strangers thats why i downloded gag to help as much as i can now i have a lot of problems myself that i find hard to sort out myself av been in bad places with deppresion anxiety break up with what my ex done to me he really fkt me over so know whst ots like to be hurt or depprest and you can't do it alone and its fkn horrible and am a kind hearted girl i help people more than i help myself sometimes i dont even get it back wich i fkn hate so i just dont want to see anyone in this world hurting at all its not a nice thing av been hurt all my life and just because I've been hurt doesn't mean i would leg people suffer i help as much as i can and i really need to sort my own life out right now am in a bad place but a won't sit andsee people het hurt its not a nice thing to happen

[catiecatie]

Honestly depends on the day and how their partner is treating them! I’m not going to lie but one of my buddies girlfriends is fine when it’s just me and her but when it’s her friends and my friends at the same party that my friend or her boyfriend threw then she becomes a two faced bitch. Maybe she just hates one of my friends but I don't know. That’s an on again off again relationship but whatever works for him. My best friend though hers is pretty cool. Some times I get way too much information and I flat out tell her that, but I do say stuff that doesn’t seem right when she is talking about it. Overall supportive but will bring things up if I don’t like it.

[ChiTown33]

It depends. I don't tolerate nonsense very well. You have to be willing to help yourself if you want me to help you. Most women are thier own worst enemy. They simply don't choose very good men because they are attracted to too many toxic traits. I have 3 lady friends right now that exasperate me a little.😂 So much that two of them I've told them while I still care about them I can't give them advice anymore because they're "askholes" (an askhole is a person who constantly asks for good advice then never takes it). 😂

[FreyaRed]

My friends know I'm hard but fair and I'm capable to offer several options with credible justification. I never push them to a decision because I don't want responsibility but I can offer my distanced analysis and thoughts.
In real live it's not like on this website where 80% of questions are created by 2-3 people and you find out it's just a bait after reading two meaningless replies. In RL people have real problems and giving them wrong advises can really hurt them.

[Leapfrog00]

I will support that friend, however, if I find out that he or she is being cheated on or used, and I happen to have proof, and I mean real proof, I will at least warn them. I may or may not tell them what I know, but I will warn them. If they don't believe me, I may have to tell them everything, but as a last resort.

[OfMiceandMen]

It depends on the relationship. If the person, my friend is going out with is toxic, then I provide very little support and hope my friend sees it someday.

If she or he is great for my friend, then I let my friend know they have a good quality person in their court.

[RavVid]

Pinay_ako you have left out the category of active saboteurs. It is more than a doubter role. They are actively working on making it not work. Girls can be quite jealous of a guy swanning in and getting all the girls girlfriend's attention.

[Phoenix98]

Depends if I see that their partner is genuinely good for them I'll be supportive. But if I see that the partner is a problem and causing them issues, is toxic and the like I'll be honest tell them to leave em.

[virtualwasp]

im supportive of a friend without getting involved as it never works when people start talking, people insert themselves into the situation and 9/10 ruin it.

[SadyConfused1998]

I really try and stay out of it. I hate being dragged into the middle of it, but I'm such a hypocrite. When I get my feelings hurt I want them to listen to me. I know not fair

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I feel like I am supportive, I take their problems very close to my heart and always try to help.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

One call to me and I’ll make sure to solve her problem.

[MementoMori777]

I'm both, it depends, I hover at a nonbias and supportive mindset but if something rubs me off wrong or I noticed red flags or sus activity I become the doubter

[Andres77]

I am a supporter of wise decisions. Not that I’m right about everything., we all know the deal with that one.

I’ll voice my opinion and then I’ll just be supportive of my friend whatever the consequences are

[TenderFantasy]

Yeah same here.

[DancingQueen16]

I try to be as supportive as I can like one time in my last year of high school one of my friends was having a problem with her boyfriend and I tried to be as supportive as I could

[ChooChooHaha]

Anyone asks me, I just try to be helpful and look out for the people involved.

[ChooChooHaha]

On a BASIC level by the way.

[asphaltrhymes]

Depends, but I was very tempted to vote Doubter. 👌👍

[Adam1978]

I don't interfere with their love life, unless something is really off. I have no interest in it.