Inner Beauty Isn't More Important Than Outer Beauty

I've seen many times on this platform that "your inner beauty is what that matters". However, I beg to differ.

Outer beauty gives inner beauty a chance. Inner beauty let us decide whether to stay or not.

We all need to stop pretending we are nice non-judgemental human beings and admit that we DO judge people based on outer beauty, in fact we judge outer beauty more than inner beauty. Actions speak more than words. Influencers these days are only popular because they are pretty or they have super dramatic lives that our human flesh feeds on. People who do have a strong inner beauty are the ones behind that spotlight. If inner beauty > outer beauty, why is it the ones who only have outer beauty in the spotlight and not the inner beauties? They don't go in the spotlight by choice, we human beings are the ones who choose who to go in it.

Nobody in the world can be labelled ugly, because someone will find them attractive - vice versa. And not because of inner beauty, but simply based on their outer appearances.

Of course if it's friends or family, outer beauty doesn't matter much and inner beauty is way more important.

But for dating, questions like, "What's your ideal type?" Normally a typical response would be, "I don't judge someone based on their looks. If I like them for who they are, I will like them." If that is the case, why not God just make everyone look the same? You see, beauty is subjective. Someone I may find pretty, you may find ugly. If outer beauty really didn't matter, why is there a need for such differences?

If you didn't find someone attractive, (s)he would've already not be someone who could be your potential date but only friends. I'm not saying your potential date has to be someone who's your ideal, but someone you are OK with looking at. C'mon now we all know that someone who has a face for some reason you find annoying to look at. And most of the time, it's the outer beauty that makes you want to find out the person's inner beauty and see if it's compatible with you!

Hence, I don't think inner beauty has more value, as you need outer beauty to be cracked open first. They are equally important.

Inner Beauty Isn't More Important Than Outer Beauty


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have very high standards when it comes to outer beauty. If I'm not attracted to a girl, then there isn't going to be a relationship. That's how it works with most people, so to that extent, you are correct.

    However, ultimately, what's inside is just as important, if not more important. Lots of externally beautiful people can have very ugly interiors, when you get to know them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It definitely is...
    But, of course, I get everyone has their own opinions and viewpoints.
    Agree to disagree.

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What Guys Said 43

  • Yeah, I generally agree. I, myself, tend to feel a little irked every time someone answers with "it's personality that matters most", or something kooky along those lines. I tend to admit I'm rather superficial, but I also keep it honest with people about itt. That isn't to say one is automatically disqualified for lacking in the looks department. I think people should embrace this and put some work in that department a bit, otherwise we just settle with that excuse.

    Nice take in honesty.

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  • That's pretty much my point of view. Being a decent, smart, funny human being is what will make another person wanting to KEEP you around. But in order to keep you around they have to decide to give you a chance to getting to know you first, and that's where physical attributes count.
    It's not like one of the two is less valuable of the other one. They Just work in a different time span.

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  • I don't really agree.
    If you're talking about tinder and online dating, or meeting people in a club, or something like that, then sure - but that's not how most people meet their partners.

    The overwhelming majority of people meet them at work / university / sports clubs / etc, or through a close friend - in other words, they're people you have no choice but to spend a lot of time with, and therefore get to know very well, regardless of what they look like.

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  • Wow.. This is such a poorly written post, lol.

    I agree with the premise of your argument that outer beauty is important. If we want to assess this honestly, most people have certain thresholds a potential date candidate has to meet in terms of appearance and personality. However, most people tend to be more lenient on appearance, and have much higher expectations of a date's personality. You're going to find more people suitably attractive (appearance wise), than you will find people you mesh with (chemistry wise). So for dating, personality is more important.

    It seems like in your poorly written post you are kind of all over the place though. like you make remarks about how beauty is more important for a relationship, but then also branch off into other things like "for the spotlight" (which I'm guessing is fame or popularity). You can make that argument, because most celebrities or popular people are for sure beautiful. However, you should really remember that for a normal person, their prospects in life are going to be mostly premised on their intelligence, drive and yes... personality. If I were an employer I wouldn't want a beautiful airhead to work for me, more than I would want the ugly girl who is charismatic and intelligent.

    Overall, this is a poorly organized, worded and thought out post. Your argument has no real substance to it, and some of your ideas are just far too ambiguous to interpret. Wtf is "the spotlight?" LOL.

    OP, lets say you were a perfect 10. I wouldn't give you the time of day, because honestly... You're an idiot, lol.

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  • Outer beauty makes me think "Gee, I'd love to fuck her!"
    Inner beauty makes me think "Gee, I'd love to spend my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE WITH HER"

    Needless to say, I disagree... It's no where near equal. Outer beauty is nice but no, just no. You're wrong.
    Some will agree with you, and that's fine. It's not wrong to be a particularly shallow, vacuous person, it's only wrong to be a dick about it. But for me, inner beauty is what makes me say around even without sex.

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  • It depends. It's like a book. You need to actually open and read the book to know what's inside. Without knowing what's inside, you can only look at the cover and a short description.

    Cover alone doesn't make the book. A trashy book is a trashy book no matter the cover.

    An ugly cover will drive other people away though.

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  • Yeah, but if you're ugly inside, your inner beauty won't be nearly as great as it could be. Inner beauty affects how we interact and our confidence. As well, it can physically affect our outward appearance. Also, how can you expect to attract others when your inner self is shit? How will you know who is good for you when you aren't good for anyone else?

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  • I'm really not a picky man when it comes to beauty. As long as your physical attributes aren't excessively extreme (like huge deformities or extreme under or over weight) then I'll give almost any woman a shot. H***, if a guy can look girly enough and if fun to be around I'll take him too.

    People get stuck in creating long lists of physical requirements and miss a lot of opportunities.

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  • I agree to a degree about the outer beauty may first attract people but on other levels it maybe your impression of that person's personality or their actions so I don't totally subscribe to the theory that inner beauty is the be all and end all but I would say personally it is far more important to me than outer beauty.

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  • Outer beauty is probably even more important for most of us for a long time, but it is subjective. The longer you like someone, the more they automatically look attractive to you, even if they didn't really at first. It also works the other way, with unpleasant people seeming to become less attractive. This is just in my experience anyhow.

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  • I get your point to a certain extent. Yes, there probably has to be some level of attractiveness in most situations. However, I would say that fades away. I've dated pretty girls, frankly you don't find them as pretty at least physically anymore. What's more important is that you find them compatible with you.

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  • You need a good balance of both. For instance, doesn't matter how good someone looks, if they are a bitch them there is no way I'm going to date them. The beauty creates attraction, but the inner beauty is what makes them stay.

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  • So you're saying ugly people deserve to suffer and be alone for the rest of their life?

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    • lmao do people not know how to read, it's stated in bold - they are equally important. they, referring to outer and inner beauty. and I mentioned that nobody in the world is ugly or beautiful, it depends on the perspective of each individual. please read before you comment :)

  • I think outter beauty matters more. It has a greater influence on how people will treat you, how people will perceive you, what they will let you get away with, who you can date/have sex with, and how easily you make friends.

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  • Outer beauty can extend to your personality as well. Even if you don't look like Scarlett Johanson or Sharon Stone, you could have a pleasing personality.
    And this personality would attract people towards you.
    So even if outer beauty could mean face and body, why are you neglecting this area... the personality?

    It means a lot. Its kinda between outer and inner beauty.

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  • In fact inner beauty doesn't matter at all. If you are hot, you get partners, if you are not hot — you are incel. At least this is how girls judge guys.

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  • Both are very important. Yes outer beauty is the frist thing you see obviously. But then there's the get to know the inner beauty. Suprising there's a lot of outer beauty people that have a very ugly inner side, and that's not attractive at all.

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  • This is politically correct bullshit. I look for a nice face, okay hair and body shape and i`m happy if the personality is good too. I mean, this is obviously politically correct bullshit because you say inner/outer instead of beauty/personality.

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  • Inner beauty doesn't exist, everybody is shit on the inside.

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  • I agree. Both are equally important. Nothing ruins a woman that is pretty outwardly but has a disgusting attitude or is stupid. Yikes. 😣

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What Girls Said 43

  • you mean that YOU judge beauty more than outter beauty. not everyone is at your level. what to expect from someone with such username. u could be the hottest female on earth but if i were a guy i wouldn't touch you with a 50 feet pole. i chose my husband based on his spirituality and integrity, nothing else. his appearence grew in me with time.

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    • good for you, saint lmfao. do you even know how to read tho, I said outer and inner beauty equally matter

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    • Well i was born in a generation that still a few girls existed that struggled for ideals and timeless values. now schools are mostly fashion catwalk arenas, and kids completely ditached from reality. gems are becoming all the more rare. Why are we even disscussing looks. I'd be happy if a 16 year old girl wrote a take about history or philosophy or art. The obsession of society with its superficial image is what saddens me.

    • uh your response to my response has no link but ok.

  • I believe it is the outer beauty that attracts us to someone then it is their inner beauty that keeps us interested.

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  • There is no sych thing as inner beaty, people say it important but no one cares about your personality if your not pretty. You don't even have to be nice to people, as long as your hot or cut they will kiss your ass.

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  • you're so totally wrong that i didn't bother to read past the first sentence. you're a great example of why guys are turning into MGTOWs because you're so full of yourself for something that you didn't earn. if a woman happens to be born beautiful that is not something to be proud of. beauty on a proud woman is like a golden ring in a pig's snout. to say that outer beauty is more important is like saying that cars are more important than roads. it's just kind of stupid to try to make that point because roads serve no function without cars, or very limited function, and cars are pointless if you have no roads. all you are doing is trying to justify being vapid and shallow and conceited about looks. outer beauty is NOT more important than inner beauty. it is merely noticed first (usually). how great would it be to own a nice flashy car but live in one of the worst regions where all the roads were torn up? or to live where there were not many roads and everyone drives 4x4's? outer beauty is nice but it really serves an empty purpose without inner beauty.

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  • I already know this and been saying it for the longest: Looks get you the first date but your personality is what gets them to stay. people who seem to disagree with this only say it because they don't want to be seen as shallow so they will try to hide it by saying personality matters more or by using the word "preference" aka requirement. Unfortunately humans are vain and love beautiful things, it's the reason thinness is considered attractive while fatness is perceived to be unattractive. It's because it's been pushed by advertising that eventually we all see it as such and a bunch of other things that come to beauty. Most celebrities, especially women, are beautiful and have to be beautiful to be in the spotlight, even if they're not that talented. It's about what you look like, who you know, and the connections they have. It's just how it is unfortunately, I do believe if people didn't have eyes they would find love a lot easier and faster cause they wouldn't see the outer appearance of people. The only thing they would see was the person personality, that would bring a lot people together but would also help let go of the wrong people as well.

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  • No one says that outer beauty doesn't matter. It does, especially for a first impression. The question is, how much do looks ACTUALLY matter?

    I have dated two guys. One was definitely not attractive for me but the other one lookes irresistible. Yet I never had that much feelings for the latter and I was obsessed with the first guy... because of our matching interests and his intelligence. I have rejected hot guys in past, and had serious crush on ugly ones.

    So again, reputation matters. To me, a person's uneven skin, cooked noise etc never bothered me. What really bothers me is wrinkled and dirty clothes that look and smell like one year unwashed. That's disgusting. Behaviour and manner and language matters.

    His looks or money won't raise my children. His personality will.

    This is for all. Once you're a mother and your baby will cry at midnight and your partner will not only not get up to help you out but rather insults you and your baby for not letting him sleep, then no matter how nice he is, you'll feel like he's a horrible man. Safe for the opposite gender cause no man would like to see their children's mother not putting their best effort and being very irresponsible.

    So it's really important the guy I marry has a good personality, discipline, manners, language and most importantly mindset because my children will learn from him. Looks matter, but not more than things that I mentioned here.

    I could, today, be the most beautiful woman yet the most horrible mother. What is my purpose in life if I cannot educate my next generation properly?

    If you personally ask me, I'd say, before you decide your partner just close your eyes and imagine him/her without the looks and money and popularity. What does he/she have left for you?

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  • equally important is a stretch for people with high morals. you can be mildly attractive and still get a date. outer beauty should not be looked at as the only way for your opinions to be heard, but the people who are beautiful outwardly should see it as a blessing. In a relationship, being attracted to your partner is important; but how important is it? it depends from person to person. While yes, most of us would give the politically correct answer "looks dont matter to me! its personality that counts," how do we really feel? if we were put in a situation where we could be with someone we are not attracted but would love deeply would we wait until an attractive counterpart comes along? Is attraction/personality in relationships a ying-yang or are we forced to choose whats MORE important to us.
    but with society choosing the most attractive person to become stars isn't okay. That type of attractiveness shouldn't matter. Talent should be #1. we are finally moving into an era where the conventionally unattractive are starting to appear and make waves in the media (steve buscemi, joe pesci, Rowan Atkinson, Danny Trejo, michael jackson, mariyln manson, rosie o'donnell).

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    • Making waves? These people have been in the business for YEARS. Most are probably going into retirement. And Michael Jackson didn't have to overcome ugliness to get noticed. He was conventionally handsome and called handsome by the people that met him. Unless you also think Janet Jackson also had to cope with her extreme hideousness? LOL
      As far as acting goes, I actually believe being average is an advantage. Perhaps it's a tendency to not take very beautiful people seriously? Or the audience can relate more to an average, every day man.

    • Yeah, read Michael Jackson and was like wtf?
      They've been pushing to make him ugly since the 80s but I got eyes. I got to meet him in '06 and he was a very attractive man.

  • i think is a balance you see in the first impression we may like someone because of the looks. but if this someone doesn't have dream, goals, any hobbies, in the worst thought he doesn't have anything in the brain. Also if the person doesn't have good feelings for you, i wouldn't imagine myself with someone like that even if it is the most handsome man in the planet

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  • Don't judge a book by its cover. Outer beauty is the cover of the book and inner beauty is all the pages in between than the author took its sweet time writing out every detail to make a wonderful story. Outer beauty does not need to be cracked open because it is already on the outside. Outer beauty it just a vague summary of who you are Your inner beauty holds your personality, your charm, your soul. Inner beauty, to me is who you truly are and that should hold more value.

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    • no I meant outer beauty has to be cracked open if you wanna see the inner beauty. It's because we live in a superficial world, everybody get judged based on their looks and hence, the better looking people based on society standards have more open doors to the world.

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    • @animus1988 I'm not telling you to do anything. You can judge a book by its cover if you want to but you will only get a taste of what it has or doesn't have to offer.

    • everyone thinks they have "inner beauty" so its just as arbitrary and shallow as looks

  • I guess it’s important to recognize how essential the “spotlight” is to you. Going by that alone, sure, outer beauty is what draws someone’s attentio and in that case it’s more important. But for true relationships, it’s the inner Beaty that is most important. As we all know beauty fades, It’s the inner beauty why people grow old together.

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  • Yeah, people are judgmental so if you're attractive, more people are willing to give you chance and find out if you're good on the inside too. That's just life, it's not fair in the slightest, but sadly that's how things are. The important thing is that we all try to give people a chance no matter what they look like

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  • I agree. Whenever people say "It's the inner beauty that counts the most" I get SO annoyed! As IF guys would look at some 5'3 and 300 pound chick then think "Huh, well... let's get to know her" NO! That is NOT what happens! Maybe if the guy already knows you, but if he just sees you then all he will judge is your appearance

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  • It's both. Like on dating sites you look at pics first so it's about the outer. Then it's their inner beauty that allows a relationship to form. However like with my son's dad I spent 15 years with. I fell in love with him over the phone having no idea what he looked like. When I did finally meet him he wasn't very attractive to me but I was already hooked so it didn't matter.

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  • yes, inner with moral charm so valuable and last long for a good relationship with the right one, time, place etc. all good things will coming to those who have its in different kind of visible happens. (my opinion for share not for fight with some trolls, regards)

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  • people with such contemptable twisted shallow sense of ideal in the world
    you all go back to your facebook instagram youtube and tumblrs
    your outer beauty is your ugliness . your lie . and your boring look-a-like artificial fake cliche
    Jump off a bridge . the gene pool should be culled of a society of idiots

    inner beauty is having a better mind soul and world

    s1.postimg.org/5je9alqgbj/zzinnerbeauty01.png

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  • I totally agree. We people/humans actually care about the outer beauty and it makes me so mad when they can't admit. So looks actually matter often, I think this is almost by far the most greatest mytake. Good job.

    (No I don't only go for looks, but looks matter)

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  • Inner beauty might hold greater value than physical features but the truth is that most of this world doesn't really care about how good you are from inside. All the world cares about is how you look, how attractive you are, how sexy or hot you are.

    It's much easier for attractive people to get around and get their work done, they are favoured while people who are not that good looking have to work really hard to get what they want.

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  • Honestly I don't think your take is all that true. There have been people that I was not physically attracted to at all until I started getting to know their personality. Inner beauty came first most often.

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  • I feel as though inner beauty is more important. I mean, think of book characters. We have no idea what Percy Jackson looks like or how beautiful Tessa Gray is but we love them for their thoughts don't we? For what they feel inside.

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    • thats false becuase you associate a vision of what you think they look like. i dont know who they are but i can assure you have a mental image of these charecters in your mind so you do associate looks with personality traits

    • @animus1988 Not exactly true. I can't really visualize peoples looks, I can more hear the sound of their voices, no looks at all. Harry potter wa said to be a knobby kneed boy with broken glasses and messy hair but still everyone fell for the 11 year old boy didn't they?

    • having messy hair and wearing glasses doesn't make someone unnattractive. you shouldn't be so judgmental ;)

  • So you would rather an asshole that treats you with no respect that has got good looks.
    Then a nice person who treats you with respect that doesn't have good looks?

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    • She's saying outer beauty attracts initially, before she can consider being with him if compatible. She's not saying she'd rather be with gorgeous person with an sh**ty personality, but rather a gorgeous person with a good personality.

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