I was sexually abused for several years as a child which lead to depression and self harm in my early teens.
I'm 18 now, and 99% better. Rarely, very rarely , I still get a little panicky.
Would you reconsider having a relationship due to a history like this?
Most Helpful Guy
I certainly wouldn't rule out dating someone like you describe.
However, there are a few "howevers..."
I was sexually abused as a child, too, so I can sympathize. I've asked similar questions of women -- would anyone want to date someone with my history? So I absolutely don't mean to pick on you. But I also think I have a valuable perspective that you need to consider.
For one thing, 18 year olds are notorious for making poor choices in partners. When you complicate that youthful inexperience with all the other baggage, your odds of picking a healthy person are even smaller. Women who are sexually abused have *extremely* high rates of marrying alcoholics and drugs abusers. You're probably a few years away from having a healthy serious, committed, one-on-one relationship. I think that dating and relationships should be low on your priorities list.
Though you've made a lot of progress in your life, there's a *very* high chance that you've got a few more walls to climb. Sexual abuse literally changes your brain and nervous system, and the effects can take *decades* to appear. I thought I was okay at 18. But I hit walls at about 24, 27, 32, and earlier this year at 34.
Some people won't want to date someone with sexual abuse baggage. Or they'll get into it, and realize that it's not like the movies where it's all resolved in 90 minutes. So if people don't want to date you (or me) it's not necessarily because they're bad or judgmental. It's because people like us often need a special kind of personality. And relatively few people (especially at your age) have the special blend of kindness and patience that we sometimes require. For these reasons, people have a *right* to know about the abuse before a relationship gets sexual and/or serious. That can complicate things in this era when a lot of people expect sex by the third date.
That's all I have for now. But I'll probably think of a few more observations and add them later.
If you ever have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.