Why doesn't he look at me when I talk to him?

There is this guy at my gym that teaches swim lessons and he is the assistant swim team coach. Well I just started talking to him last week and yesterday I went swimming knowing that he would be there. Well after he was done coaching the swim team, he went to change clothes and leave. Well I didn't think I would get to talk to him so I got out of the pool and went to change to go home. As I was leaving we crossed paths so I got the nerve up to get his attention. Well I walked up to him and he was looking me in the eye and I told him I wanted to ask him something and that it may seem like a strange question. This is when I noticed that he was looking everywhere, but at me. It made me feel like he was a little annoyed that I was talking to him. That's when I asked him if anyone has ever told him that he was hot! I know cheesy, but he really is hot in my eyes! For a second he didn't say anything, almost like it hadn't clicked in his head what I asked. Then he rubbed his chin, smiled, and then laughed. So I said I guess not. Then he walked away so I left. Why did he laugh? Is he interested in me? Oh by the way I did catch him a few times while he was coaching the swim team looking at me. I just don't understand why he wouldn't keep looking at me. I mean he was looking over my shoulder at people coming in the front door and he was looking behind him. Did I go to far by telling him that he was hot?


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  • Yes you did go too far. That kind of line is better for the club or at a party where people are there to socialize. This guy was doing his job. I have friends who are swim coaches and they get hit on a lot. They get tired of it. Maybe this guy is the same way. It is never OK to come on strong to someone at work because the worker has to be polite to customers no matter what. He can't tell you to go away because he could lose his job if you complain about him. You put this guy in a tough position. He probably didn't look at you because he was scared of being accused of sexual harassment or something if you got mad that he blew you off. If you ever want to approach someone at work again, stick to shaking hands and introducing yourself. Then let the worker decide how far to take things.

    It is a little lame that you got out of the pool when you thought you would not get to talk to him. This seems desperate. Someone who is a swim coach would probably have more respect for a someone who goes to the pool to swim.