He left me twice and accused me of cheating the second time he broke up, could it be because he cheated?

Me and my ex were in a LDR for a year.
We were together for the first 5.5 months then away for the rest of it.
We loved each other crazily, made a lot of plans on how to make this relationship work in the future and even considered getting married because we thought we belonged to each other and were meant to be.
We had a lot of fight mostly because of his crazy jealousy and selfishness.
He was so controlling and wanted me to cut my contact with my guy friends, but when I ask him to do the same he would say ok then do whatever he wants.
First time he broke up he said he sees no future for us because of the long distance.
He came back after 1.5, gave him a chance to prove he deserves it and to show me his actions for us. He was so regretful and angry at himself and said he would fix everything.
10 days later he saw a pic of me with my friends 2 girls and (1 guy he hated and wanted me to cut my contact with him before) he even saw a comment of my other guyfriend on one of my pics, he posted hearts and I posted hearts back. He got crazy angry and broke up! Said this is all new and made me feel like I was doing things behind him, but in fact that was when he left me already plus they are all just old friends nothing new! And honestly, when he left me the first time he was searching for girls randomly adding them, so obviously he was fishing, but I put that aside to discuss it later with him, but then this second breakup happened. He judged me without a chance he said that's enough go to hell, after a month I saw a comment of a girl who he knew even when we were together don't know who and how, but she said I want you, immediately thought that he might have cheated before and felt guilty and now he saw this about me so he accused me to remove his guilt.
We texted on and off said harsh things mostly him not me, until 2 days ago he said I'm cheap cuz I'm adding people from his country on Insta, he used F, the B, and the N word,

We are an interracial couple.
He blocked me from whatsapp and Insta the minute he insulted me.
Do you think he cheated that's why he acted the way he did?
Will he ever regret or come back? I wouldn't ever take him back, but the damage is too deep suffered for months and feels it won't leave me unless he regrets
Do such people get away with their bad deeds without realizing it or apologizing even if it will take months/years?
Do people come back after such bad breakups n bad words


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, he is controlling and also emotionally manipulative. I don't think he is cheating on you, but he has lots of insecurities, I know everyone has insecurities, but he has too many and also doesn't know how to deal with it and that shows clearly in the way you have mentioned in your post.

    • Do you think such people could ever feel regret or ever come back with time after such bad breakup? After all what we have been through I still believe we shared a love bond.

What Girls Said 1

  • Jealousy is just another term for insecurites. Constantly accusing you of cheating when he has no valid reason to, is probably due to how he feels about himself. He may have low self- esteem and he appears to be very insecure. People are jealous for one of two reason: They don't feel good enough for you and believe you can do better. Or they have had bad experiences with exes cheating on them in the past.

    Personally, i would not have contact with him if he is controlling and emotionally abusive. He may be too emotionally damaged to change. Unless he heals and deals with his anger and insecurities you can never be happy with him. Xx 💜

    • Thanks a lot for your input. Yes, he is very insecure and extremely judgmental. I was always caring for him to not make him angry or more insecure, but nothing has worked with him he is too hard. I loved him so much and I think he loved me too, but the way he insulted me last time was too much. I responded telling him nothing is weaker or smaller than a man who insults a woman he loved and that he is sick and has an ugly heart. Told him to stay away from me 'cause I'm living peaceful and happy and thanked him that he gave me the chance to find someone better and bless him. I never used any harsh words or offended him, but he is the type that talks trash when he is angry, once he almost broke my car because of his jealousy :/
      Do you think time could make him realize his mistake or show up after such a bad ending?

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much for your help. Your words are soothing.
      So true we loved each other so much, but he damaged everything and I think this will never be fixed. He burned all our bridges I can't see him feeling regret in time because he thinks I'm at fault and I'm the only one who lost him. He is a very selfish guy never cared about how I would feel in any situation we have been through, his heart is full of anger. Though I really hope what you said comes true and he comes back, but I have to live without waiting 'cause either ways getting back with him is not an option for me anymore which honestly hurts me the most.

    • You are so very welcome! 💜😊

      I can see he has hurt you very much, and although your heart is broken... you still love him with all the little pieces. Sometimes you have to realise and accept... some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

      Yes i agree, don't wait around for him, don't put your life on hold hoping he'll change or come back, instead move on (although it's hard for you right now , because the pain is still raw) if he is meant to be in your life, he'll catch up.

      The only thing you can do is , cry a river build a bridge and go over it. Sometimes your head wants to let go but it isn't so easy for the heart. So be patient with yourself. Pain takes times to heal. Xx 💜 💜

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