My last boyfriend and I dated for 3.5 years. I have grown accustomed to a certain type of guy, so it's hard for me to settle for anything less. We just recently broke up (last weekend) so when my friends try to set me up, I am seldom pleased. Here, I'll tell you what I mean.

I am 5'11.5" so the first thing that appeals to me on a man is height. If I guy is not taller than me, It is a big turn off. I prefer dark hair, but am not "stuck" to that. A man I date has to be musical. Singing is a major part of my life. I have been a singer since I was 9, so a man I date must be able to sing and play an instrument. (I play piano). I also work out all the time, so I require someone who shares that interest with me. I don't mean he has to be a body builder or anything, but if I'm gonna kick my butt to make myself look good, I think he should too. I don't like a guy too skinny, yet not real big either.

I want a man who will support me emotionally and musically as I will do the same for him. He must be funny, caring, and a Christian. He must have ambition and a good work ethic. He has to respect my parents and me & can't be too pushy sexually. (When I feel it's time, he'll get it.)

He can't be a player or conceited and he has to want to spend quality time with me...not All the time, just QUALITY time.

Anyway, do I sound like I'm being too picky?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say you're too picky, but maybe you're standards may be a little to rigid:

    Tall - good you're tall.

    Musical - good; I play music; my fiance plays music; it's fun to have someone who appreciates music and shares that with you. My voice - let's put it this way you'd rather hear two cats f**king. If you found a guy with a good voice but didn't play well or vice versa, you should probably be a little flexible.

    Works out - good; everyone should stay healthy. If you him attractive, that's what's more important than how many hours he spends at the gym. So, be a little flexible.

    The degree of emotional and musical support - Definately be very flexible on that one. We love you, but we don't need to show it every minute of every day.

    Funny, caring, and Christian - Be flexible with the funny and caring, and take him if he believes in God.

    Ambition and good work ethic - If he has a job, an education, and somewhat successful. Take it.

    Respect your parents - I don't know your parents, but good luck with that one.

    Too pushy sexually - He should respect time; just not a whole lot of time. You're 22; he'll be the same age or older. Don't be a kid with the sex.

    Maybe a little picky, but I don't think too picky. You might want to be flexible in some areas.

    • As for the parents thing, I didn't say he had to like them, (although they're real easy to get along with) I just said he had to respect them. And as for music, it would be ok if they were one or the other, but to have no musical nature just won't work. I've tried it.

      Thanks for your imput.

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What Guys Said 6

  • First tell me what planet you are on, and then we can go from there...

    ." .He must be funny, caring, and a Christian. He must have ambition and a good work ethic. He has to respect my parents and me & can't be too pushy sexually. (When I feel it's time, he'll get it.)

    "He must be... a Christian...and he can't be too pushy sexually...but...When I feel it's time...'.HE'LL GET IT. ' "


    "I want a man who will support me emotionally and musically as I will do the same for him"

    I have no idea in hell what it means to 'support someone "musically" ?

    You sound to me like a self absorbed, indulged, 22 year old...who has no grounding in reality whatsoever...

    You seem to have an education, since your spelling and grammar are exceptional.

    your friend in Jesus,

    Bruce Alan

    • Considering the fact that you feel it necessary to be completely blatant and bold, It is apparent to me that you must be rather conceited as well.

      Not every Christian is perfect. If you were one, you would know that. Secondly, the Bible clearly states that one sin is no bigger that another. Therefore, you should live by the verse, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

  • As a general rule, you are the one who decides what is and isn't a deal-breaker with a potential partner. However, I will say that you should probably be willing to compromise on a lot of physical traits. For example, your dream man may end up being the same height as you. He can give you everything, but he can't change his height for you.

    Also, as far as "can't be too pushy sexually" is concerned, what constitutes "too pushy"? From the sound of it, the only time anything sexual is going to happen is when YOU are in the mood, whether he is or not. It isn't going to be the case that you two are always going to be in the mood at the same time, so you will have to compromise with that.

    • Lol....I can definately tell you don't know me. lol. I am always in the mood haha. I'm probably worse than a guy when it comes to that subject. What I meant was, I'm not gonna have sex with just anyone. Meaning I need to see that there is potential before I give it up to him - therefore, I'm not giving in on the first date. (A lot of guys expect it on the first, but I may not give it until later- and if I decide that I don't want to give it on the first date, the guy doesn't need to keep pushing

  • Yes...

    Might as well just write that all down and hand it to the guy you get hooked up with.

    "Hey if you don't fulfill all these requirements I can't be with you, sorry."

    Are you trying to find dates or job interviews?...

  • Are you conceited?

  • nah everyone had certain things they look for..its america your allowed to date whoever you want no matter what ur type is...hey can you hop on chat I nned to ask you something please...

    • Lol...I don't know how. don't laugh. I'm somewhat computer stupid. Anyway, you can email me at

  • Yes, too picky


What Girls Said 2

  • I can be reallllllllly picky so I totally know where you're coming from, but be careful that you're not basically asking for your ex in another body. I've done that before. = )

  • Your way too freakin picky love! haha I'm just playin! you just know what you want and like shelia says, your allowed to be picky!