Trying to figure out how to get a girl?

I don't know why I a lot of guys can naturally get girls, why others can't (this includes me)? One of the things I tend to act the same way with every girl (I tend to be the funny guy a.k.a the class clown type of person. It is kind of a defense mechanism). I don't know how to actually build attraction with a girl I am interested, or to even let her know I am attracted to her.

I don't know how to make a girl say want me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Simply, make her feel nice by saying cute funny things that make her smile. Just flirt with her and make her know you know she is there. Often guys who are funny have all the girls looking and maybe they don't realise it but the girls may also feel insecure and shy to try get the funny guys attention. So firstly let her know that you notice her by singling her out and making jokes to impress her and maybe say a nice comment then maybe be a bit mysterious after that but still nice and she will approach you.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • be a jerk, not to hard though and have LOTS OF CONFIDENCE. and you will get girls.

    • Really? You don't have to be a jerk.

      Just don't give girls a lot of attention...but the one that you want, give her a tiny, little bit. Then she will be like, "Oh, I'm the special one!" Then go back to not giving attention...and repeat a little...and boom she is yours.

      You don't have to be mean, haha just don't really interact. Keep saying you are busy or that you lost your phone..etc etc. It works.

      It's how I got my girlfriend of three years away from all of those other dudes. I won, u2

    • Ok I'm correcting myself on this when I meant jerk I mean, like play it cool make some jokes don't get hard though.... and I agree give her more attention than others

  • HAHA .. our lover of the day ! .. well, I choose this advice:-

    if you like a girl well go and tell her :) .. you should love her from heart not just because you want a girl to be like anyone else who has a girlfriend ;) .. if you are shy well tell her in Facebook or msn or yahoo etc. :) .. she will of course understand :) .. plus tell her your feelings :D

    • Its not a good idea to tell a girl how you feel over something digital. It should be done in person.

  • This is so simple: All you have to do is be yourself you don't want to attract attention that is not you. you want someone to notice the real you and love it because after all your going to be that person for the rest of your days. Don't try and be something your not if you like someone befriend them when they get to see the person you are I'm sure you won't even have to let them know you like them in another way it will just happen naturally.Love is Patient and never hurried.

    • "This is so simple"--you should get thumbs down for that

      "All you have to do is be yourself"--yes and no. Yes, don't put on a mask and act a certain way. No, you still have to go beyond what you would normally act like to show interest and "win" her

  • dude if your already funny what's the problem?.. don't be a jerk but be cool act like it doesn't matter what other people think about you and have lots of confidence if you act like they want you they will

  • Well you sound like a nice guy I find a good sense of humor attractive . You sound like a guy that I liked before but he was nice to every girl and that tends to send a mixed message so when you find one you like treat her different try not to be so chummy with all the other girls and she will feel special.

    • Ps do you have any pics?

What Guys Said 2

  • Your so-called "defense mechanism" is a very double-edged sword. While it may work at first, it'll eventually end up placing you in the friend zone, so be sure to not overdo it.

    Here's something you must realize about girls - they like funny guys, but being funny isn't enough. Usually "class clowns" act silly a lot, do funny things to try people laugh. But that just isn't enough. There are A LOT of funny guys out there. It doesn't take much. So by being funny, you're not being much different than other guys. And if you're not being different, she's not gonna notice you. Yes, she'll know who you are. Yes, she will talk with you. But when I say "notice", I mean she won't be attracted to you.

    So you gotta spice things up. Usually the best way to go with this is with flirting. And with flirting, you have to let them know that you're interested in them. This is why a lot of shy guys have trouble with girls - they don't really have enough confidence to flirt, and don't want to show the girl how they feel about her. You have to assume the girl is interested in getting with you! You have to BELIEVE the girl is interested in you! You have to have confidence!

    If you see a girl that you like, walk up to her and show her you're interested in her! I'm not saying you go to her and tell her that you have a crush on her, or anything like that. Just talk to her, try getting to know her, be funny (but not in a retarded way - save that for later), and let her know you're interested in her. She'll either like you or not. If she doesn't, you move on! Don't waste your time with girls who aren't into you - they're everywhere, and you have to learn to accept that they're not worth it.

    There's other small things I'm not gonna get into because it'll take me hours explaining everything. Things like "don't be too nice", "don't talk to her ALL the time", "don't open up too quickly", and so on. Basically, don't just try being funny. Work towards letting her know that you're interested in her, while being as much of yourself as you possibly can. And try making her feel special. Like she's more important than any other girl. OK I'll stop now because I get the feeling I'm confusing you. ~__~

    • Also, don't expect answers from girls. They don't even know what they want, so they won't even know how to help you. They have NO idea why they're attracted to some guys, and they all have different opinions. Your best bet is to give it your best shot and after a while you'll get an idea of things you should and shouldn't do when trying to get a girl.

    • Money post. I think the most important thing guys need to learn here is how to flirt. I learned more about flirting from going to indie/punk/house/electro clubs than anywhere else. I'm talking eye contact to where you're thinking, "she's not looking away like other girls do. Wait, we're still locking eyes. Oh man, she's into me for sure. Damn she's got a nice smile!"

      That's how I initiate contact with girls. I don't waste my time going for girls who don't lock eyes.

  • I think it’s easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend because girls just have to be born cute, pretty, they just have to look good in order for us guys to consider them girlfriend material or one-night stand material, or just for us to be interested in them, that's all. Us guys have to walk right, stand right, sit right, breathe right, talk right, think right. We have to have the right social skills, conversation skills, pretty much talking skills, the right attitude, the right mentality, the right way of thinking, the right body language, and the right confidence. It’s like a guy’s success with girls all comes down to the words and sentences that come out of his mouth, meanwhile girls just have to have the body and looks in order to get a guy. My whole point is that it’s easier to be visually, physically appealing to someone than it is to be emotionally, verbally, mentaly appealing to someone. Because Confidence is a Mental thing.

    • I disagree. If a girl is born ugly, or average, or simply not hot, she'll never command attention from guys throughout her whole life. Whereas guys, even if they're not naturally socially & emotionally intelligent, or confident, they can improve themselves and go from being average, to a perfect 10.

      So girls don't have it easier. If you're not perfect, and you're a girl, then you never will be. If you're not perfect, and you're a guy, you can easily come pretty close.

    • Plus, the only thing girls can get from a guy, is his very weak interest in her. When a guy gets a girl's attention on the other hand, he captures her very strong interest in him.

      If a girl could make a guy feel for her, what a guy can make a girl feel for him.. just by looking cute & pretty, then I'd say you have a solid argument.

      But that's simply not the case.

    • Even an Emo girl can get a boyfriend, but if a guy shows the smallest sign or sense of insecurity, he will never get a girl