Me vs. The Good Looking Guy?

Okay, I have to admit one thing: I'm not good looking. Probably a 5/10.

There's a girl in my class I like and I'm the only one I talk to her and she always chooses to sit next to me. She's the best looking girl I've ever taken out. I'm pretty confident, funny, and I know how to flirt and not be too nice... I was able to get a coffee date from her and a real date from her.

But there's this guy---even I have to admit that he's really good looking and built really well. He's tall and I'm short. He's fit and I'm thin. He's older than her and I'm younger.

But I've talked to this guy and I don't think his personality is anywhere near mine.

This guy has never talked to the girl or even looked at her, I think. But whenever he walks by, I can sort of tell she checks him out and hopes he checks her out and starts talking to her. And when this happens...I don't know, it almost feels like I'm a "little kid" when compared to this guy.

I don't know what to do or how to get rid of this feeling.


Most Helpful Girl

  • OK first of all have you had an physical contact beyond say a hug? Kissing, hand holding? If you've gone out on more than two 'dates' with her and you haven't kissed yet and she hasn't given you any signals that she wants you to kiss her then they probably weren't dates in her mind. I've gone out to coffee, dinner, movies etc with some guy friends that I have no romantic interest in whatsoever. To be it's just hanging out as friends. And yes I paid for myself.

    I'm not in school but any time we are together (group outings, the bar, etc) I will sit by them. Not because I like them but because I know them the best and I can talk to them. I've been introduced into THEIR circle of friends and I still don't know all of them very well. When you don't know very many people you stick by those you do know.

    So MAYBE she does like you but there is also a good possibility you are just a friend to her. Either way you should stop focusing on what other people have. Stop worrying about what you don't have. Focus on the positive parts of yourself. Eventually someone will notice and appreciate you for it. If it's not this girl then oh well, it wasn't meant to be.

    Also if you're thin you can always work out.

    • Well, I paid for everything so that wasn't an issue.

      Physical contact, I've been feeling it out. She lets me touch her pretty much anywhere (anywhere that's appropriate, of course)....she lets me touch her lower back---doesn't flinch at all or tell me to stop. She lets me hold my hand there.

      I've made sure to incorporate physical contact in what I do because I've learned that's the best way to avoid being stuck as a friend.

    • Maybe she likes you. Though my guy friends often put their hands on my back or give me neck rubs and what not and I don't finch. Also some girls will use guys to get free stuff. This doesn't mean she IS using you and she doesn't like you. I would just say until you've had an actual kiss don't assume anything. If she likes you then she will welcome a kiss. If she turns away (like I have done with guy friends I don't like) then you'll know for sure. And if it's weird, well you'll get over it.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Hope she is not the only girl is this word ,let her choose she want the fit and old one let her get him

    there are so many girls here and there you are going to fine another one in the same day

  • Girls appreciate the male physique. However, just because she checks him out, doesn't mean she has actual feelings for him. Keep working at it.

    In my experience, the hottest guys have been the biggest jerks, so I've mostly had feelings for the mid-scale guys, but if a guy is hot, I'm not gonna lie - I'll look :P

  • Awww, I hate that feeling. That "Am I not Good Enough" feeling, the "Something out of my Control" feeling.

    Its terrible, but I'll tell you what. Based on what you mentioned, if this girl is smart she WILL notice and appreciate YOU not the other guy.

    Sure, she might get together with him but like you said...his personality is nowhere near yours. The girl should be able to realize that no matter which path she takes and end up with you no matter what.

    If she doesn't, she must have wandered off and good thing. I mean, who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them? (Alot of people, but still...besides the point)

    As for getting rid of the feeling, just picture everything GOOD. I mean, you got the date! The other guy hasn't even talked to her.

    Good luck darlin', (:


What Guys Said 5

  • Girl's aren't visual. They're more attracted to personality traits. The way you feel when you see a really hot girl is the way she feels when she sees a confident, masculine guy. It's all about the aura you project, the vibes she gets from you. He may look better but that may mean absolutely nothing.

    If she always sits next to you, chances are in YOUR favor that she's interested. Don't second guess it. You're on the right track!

    • Not true. Girls can be just as visual as men. Many are even more concerned with looks than men. Sure personality may be the most important trait to lots of females but I guarantee you that none will date a guy they find physically repulsive. Not unless they are quite unattractive themselves and don't think they can do better.

    • Well yes but for different reasons. A guy they find physically repulsive is repulsive because it suggests that he doesn't take care of himself and, by extension, can't take care of you. If you didn't win the genetic lottery you can still be attractive if you dress well and keep in shape.

      Not that I'm disrespecting your opinion, though. I realize you have more credibility on the subject. I should have said "less visual" instead of "not visual".

  • Why do you care, so what she looks at another guy, your the one who took her on dates not him, so like I said so what. Your situation is the same as in when a chick likes some celebrity dude, you know the old oh so and so is so hot, ya ya we get it he's good looking.

    Most guys would counter attack that with ya well what about that one chick, damn she's fine, and of course you get your chick all mad at you. This is no different than the game your playing with the chick you like, all you have to do is say, ya he's a good looking dude, but I am better looking, and besides I'm the one taking you to dinner friday night, not him. If you play it off like you know that the other guy has no chance with her, then you won, but if you second guess and play the jealous game, she might go for the other guy.

  • Two ways to handle...

    1) Be cool with her. When a girl feels she has you, then she tends to keep you on the side and window shop so to speak (ie, check out other guys). Be a little hard to get with her so she knows you are not some guy always waiting there for her. She'll respect you more and be more into you.

    2) Be dirty. Tell her you heard rumors that he's either gay or is a bad guy (not bad as in rock star cool, but scary around women). This is really childish and immature but it works. It happened to me in High School.

  • Don't worry about your looks man. As long as you keep yourself cleaned up, just FEEL that you are the best thing since chocolate and sliced bread.

    Girls are not just looking for a man who is so sexy they can't stand it. Ony of my buddies weights 290 pounds, has a ninja turtles tattoo on his leg and has a big bushy beard. He is 26. He just got married to a beautiful girl. Do you think looks matter so much?

    Be yourself, and be confident. best examples. Just tell yourself the same thing. Talk to the girls you want to meet, and if they like you they do. Not all girls are going to like you, so just remember that; just like you wouldn't date everything that walks by.

    Just go for it, and if you get shot down, oh-well. Its life man, not worth getting bent outta shape over what god gave you, just use it to your advantage, and expect that when the right girl comes around, she won't care if you are not a Kalvin Klein model.

  • quite being a bitch. she's not your girlfriend yet so dammit man.

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