This is me.
Quick Background: Bullied for years, used by guys, my family considers me to be fat and constantly bring up how lazy I am. I go to college full time (six classes) and work. I do no drugs and dont sleep around. I've constantly been treated like im less by others. I've always felt like an outsider. At my job im surrounded by girls who wear make up and are oh so fashionable and some of them look down at me because of my looks. While they constantly tell stories of guys who have liked them, I have very few. I've been severely verbally abused as well.
Personality: I try to be kind and help as much as I can. I know some people here will recognise me by either my writing style or my pic (placed one some years back). I work hard and have been told I am a very strong person. If you are close to me, I will do what I can to help you. But I no longer tolerate being pushed around. I am also very shy.
I have VERY low self esteem. I have self hatred and I want it to end. Any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
"my family considers me to be fat and constantly bring up how lazy I am." If you're working and have six classes college, then you know fully well that you aren't lazy. "At my job im surrounded by girls who wear make up" If they're hiding behind make up, then who are they to talk about your appearance? If you are comfortable with how you look (and you should be) then be proud!
"While they constantly tell stories of guys who have liked them, I have very few." Did the guys really like them though? If they're hiding behind their make up, did the guys not actually just use them?
If you feel like you're being used by guys, then it's because you fall too easy, and that can't really be helped now, but remember, it's okay to take your time with relationships.. they are not to be rushed.
I asked a question on here the other day, sort of relevant to this:
I'm gonna be blunt here.. If your self-esteem is low, it's because you let it be, if you constantly tell yourself, or convinces yourself that you aren't good enough, then your brain will start believing so. Accepting your flaws is fine, but don't let them rule you -- try instead to find all the good things you have, heck.. compliment yourself if you must, convince your brain to see your good side.
One way people begin, is to write down all the achievements they accomplish in a day, regardless of how small they are -- "I did A today" - "B was better today". Whatever you decide to do, just start, by not saying or thinking negative things about yourself, because it will only drag you down.
Most Helpful Girl
1) You aren't ugly, in fact you look very pretty, the glasses aren't flattering, but it doesn't change the fact you are pretty.
2) Sometimes, you need to change the environment you are in. Full time college plus work = not lazy. Those people that are telling you otherwise are poison to you and they probably need help themselves. However, you aren't in a position to help them. Find a way to cut the abusive people out of your life.
3) Find your ground to stand on. Stick with school and your work, focus on those and learn and grow. Those cane be the foundation for a new start for you.
4) Dont worry about having guys around, things happen at different paces for different people. Put your head down and go do your thing... where you are at is ok, i dont mean to make small of the way you feel, im just saying that you have some things in your life to build on and there is no value in causing yourself stress by comparing yourself to others.
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