Guys, how do you deal with a break up?

I've heard that it can take a couple of weeks before a break up can start to emotionally set in for guys, while girls are really emotional right after the break up. Even if you were the one to dump someone does it take you a while before you start to feel the pain of the break up and start to miss your ex? Guys, what are your thoughts on this?

When my boyfriend of a year broke up with me he said he was disappointed it didn't work out and would prob regret breaking up at times because we had a good relationship, but he could tell his feelings just weren't building and that he wasn't falling in love so he felt it was only fair to both of us to end things. He was always a brutally honest person so I doubt he was saying that he might regret it just to make me feel better, it just wasn't in his character to do something like that. It's been several weeks and I am finally feeling better emotionally, but am still curious about how he's doing.

From a guys perspective, now that he's had some time away from the relationship do you think he's finally feeling upset about the break up and wondering if he made the right decision or has he most likely been okay and completely moved on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Normally, whenever I went through a breakup I felt it right away and often for weeks if not months, even if I was the one to initiate it. guilt can settle in at a different rate for everyone, hell, I've known people who somehow leave guilt free. if someone is taking their time keeping up with you emotionally maybe he just needs some time or sadly has no intention of going to that next level. after going through a recent breakup I've experienced that phenomena in which somebody is just able to cut off all communication with you without remorse and it really is amazing how callus some people can be.

    the hardest thing to do, but also the most rewarding, is to get back on your feet and appreciate another lesson learned. what I find works best for me is talking to friends and laughing. A lot. you're still going to have those days where you feel like your heart is permanently dropped but after a while it starts to slowly make it's way back up. it sounds like you're obviously ready for something he isn't and that there is a maturity issue.


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What Guys Said 2

  • i feel it immediately and for months. it sucks

  • I definitely think that after separating from someone who you had a strong emotional relationship with can take time to process various emotions.

    I think how you feel about a break-up would depend on the feelings involved. If you felt something and now it's fading or didn't feel that the relationship was constructive to you both, then NOT being in the relationship would probably feel more like release than regret, even if you were good together. Likewise if it was really going somewhere, you were building feelings, then it can be like preforming surgery on yourself, painful yet necessary.


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