The ideal of being the "hot girl" took over my life - how can I reduce my anxiety and self doubt?

Hey guys and girls,

recently I caught myself really pondering over my looks are being perceived by my peers. I try to take good care of myself, but even though I know most people wouldn't necessarily view me as "ugly", I perceive myself as exactly that. The presence of other pretty girls gives me anxiety and makes me feel bad about myself for the rest of the day. This problem goes even as far as me getting emotional breakdowns when I can't get my makeup right or see myself in the mirror not looking my best after a long day of college.
I think my behaviour might be due to the fact that I am majorly stressed out about a guy who dumped me in a very harsh way and whom I have to face daily in class. I think that if I don't look perfect he will only be reassured in his choice of dumping me. The ideal of being perceived as the "pretty girl" is so manifested in my head that every situation or comment that might indicate the opposite gets me down for days (including sleepless nights of planning workout plans and outfits or skipping meals in order to become hotter) and makes me question my worth and position within society.
I know, even though I sound like a little teenager I am actually 20 years old. I am just scared of losing myself and my life to these thoughts, because I don't want to become a monster who is doing everything for attention and validation.


Did anyone of you guys experience something similar or has an idea how I could get out of this situation?


Take care x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are girls really that insecure? Im a pretty weird guy, sometimes i wake up and i think should i be self conscious. The thought doesn't last long, im very comfortable with who i am. Dont really care how others feel about me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not alone in this. I feel threatened and intimidated by anyone who looks good. And its funny because I get hit on by men and have a nice shape. But just the thought of seeing another attractive female, annoys the heck out of me. It has gotten better over the years. I just do my best to try not to look at them. That way I dont feel threatened. But believe it or not, there are females who look at you and wish they had your body, hair or skin. So its something that gets better over time. I use to dress to impress men. Now I just dress where I look good and feel no need to impress men. And you feel uncomfortable when you are always trying to impress men. You are not yourself and always on edge. Not a good feeling at all.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 2

  • honestly don't doubt yourself I can't see a picture of you but I know you just like all other women out there are beautiful

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  • Try just not giving a shit about anything, it works for me

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't trust in your beauty. The hottest and richest and most popular girls are miserable when they do this. Being hot will not solve your problems. Trusting in God will solve your problems.

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  • i also went through a time where I thought I was ugly n digesting all the negative comments from people n ignoring all the positive comments but after some years I started digesting ONLY the positive comments and I stopped being hard on myself n then now I know am beautiful n I don't care about peoples negative comments they don't bother me anymore n as for seeing other hot girls I do get intimidated but I remind myself that am not in a competition and all I have to do is to be the best version of myself n that is good enough

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