Still no boyfriend...WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!

I'm nearing 20 y.o. and I've NEVER been in a relationship, or even on a date! I'm seriously wondering wtf is wrong with me. I know I'm attractive, I have my own things going on for me, smart, quite chill. I have guy friends who love hanging out with me. Some of these guys know about my "predicament" and told me I am a great catch and all I have to do is wait and the right guy will ask me out (always wondered why they never ask me out...). I can never get guys to see me as more than a sex object or a friend, even older, more "mature" guys. I'm just really hurt now because it's like no one sees me as even a casual (not serious) girlfriend when some of my female friends are getting really serious in their relationships. I'm old school, so I won't ask a guy out directly, but I give signs and sometimes I'm REALLY obvious, but nothing seems to work. Anyways, any pointers/tips/advice on getting my butt into a relationship :P . Thanks!



Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually I assume a girl isn't as "attractive" as she thinks... so that's my first guess. When a girl has troubles with guys it's usually one of three things:

    1) She's physically unattractive

    2) She's socially unattractive

    3) She's unapproachable

    All three of things are pretty easy to fix when you accept they're holding you back.

    1) Make sure there's not something about you physically that's turning guys off. Your appearance alone isn't enough to scare away ALL men, but it' a road block you should address.

    Are you extremely over weight? If so you may wish to either dress appropriately, or consider thinning down. Over weight women aren't ugly, but they can easily be mistaken as insecure and unhealthy.

    Big women who are active, dress well, and are socially inviting are VERY attractive, so keep that in mind.

    Yes, men are superficial, at first. When we get to know you we care less about your fitness levels. But that means we have to get to know you first.

    2) Being socially awkward turns men off as well. There are all types of women who are socially awkward.

    - Women who are TOO sexually aggressive is a turn off.

    - Women who have NO social skills (shy, quiet, awkward) is a turn off.

    - Women who act uncomfortable in their own skin

    - Women who don't have friends indicates a problem.

    Also, the more social you are the more calibrated you'll be around men.

    Imagine two girls:

    Girl 1 is always spending time with her girlfriends, going out (shopping, coffee, events.. I'm not talking about the bar) and interacting with men. She's going to learn how to create conversations with strangers simply because social events force her to. This makes her automatically more friendly and more attractive.

    Girl 2 doesn't have many girlfriends. She stays home. She doesn't get the hundreds of hours of human interaction that help mature her social skills. She then doesn't know how to act around men she finds attractive.

    Be girl number 2.

    A FUN girl wins over all other women. That's a secret.. shhhhhhhhh.

    3) If you're beautiful and highly social you may have another problem... you're intimidating to most guys.

    Men will automatically put you on a pedestal, which leaves you out of reach of a relationship.

    Bring yourself back to earth by being more casual, and by interacting with guys more often. If they think you're a QUEEN, then help them to see you're just a normal fun girl.

    Being approachable means flirty eye contact, smiling, laughing, and touching. Laugh at his joke, then touch his arm. Hugs are good too, with people you know. Touching helps men realize you might be interested.

    Finally, remember that relationships require relating.

    Learn about rapport and you'll learn how to automatically create a sense of connection with guys.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )


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What Guys Said 3

  • you could be considered that "unapproachable" type. always to the guy as "too hot for me, she'll never want to be with me"

    19, never had a girlfriend or date before so I know how it sucks, I lack a lot of confidence from being lonely in high school as I had OCD. better now but still alone and being in tech in college there are no girls around. I'm mature, not childish about things, I think I look good, like to have fun, but still alone.

    just keep looking, perhaps try to be direct.

    (if I knew you irl, wouldn't mind trying a relationship with ya so we both wouldn't be alone like this)

    • Glad to know I'm not the only one in this situation, hopefully we'll each find someone soon. Don't over look the tech girls, they maybe geeky smart but their the best (I am one so I'm biased :P)

    • Show All
    • I hate how us guys have to initiate everything

    • Sucks, don't it. both sides should do it evenly, do away with this "norm".

  • Stop trying, guys can tell, its a turn off. Also lets us know that if we fake it, we can get sex, so seriously, stop trying.

  • I'm 22 and never been in a relationship, always been single, and I wonder what's wrong with me, and us guys have to initiate unfortuneately, that sucks for inexperienced guys


What Girls Said 1

  • Guys nowadays are so wrapped up in sex that having a relationship is the last thing on their minds unless it involves sex. So, either put out or keep waiting.

    • Not all of us are just sex, sure its very important and pretty essential to a good relationship, but we also want to be with the person we love. sex is one way of expressing it to some of us.

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    • A old man once told me that the back in the day, men were are just as sex-craved, just now it's more upfront. I know a bunch of guys who aren't such sex maniacs...just have to know where to meet them.

    • Whatever you guys say...