Guys (and girls too I guess...) what makes a girl intimidating?

Just wondering...because I've been told more than once by guys at my school lately that I come off as a little intimidating until you get to know me and I know that isn't a good thing...but I don't see how I do?:/ What makes a girl intimidating? I've been told by some guy friends that girls that are a lot smarter than them can be intimidating...and I'm known for being that girl in all of the advanced classes with all A's so that could be one thing? I'm also shy, so maybe that could make it harder for a guy to approach me? But I smile all of the time and I'm nice to everybody, I don't have any reason to be stuck up and I don't act like I am at all...So I still don't fully get it. Is it the way I look? I have pictures... Or is it something people just tell you when they want to spare your feelings and there's another reason guys don't approach me very often?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, well, other than the guy's own self-esteem/confidence issues, there is stuff that the girl is actually doing or not doing, that make her seem intimidating.

    - Acting or being indifferent or aloof.

    - Being too serious

    - Looking angry

    - Not talking

    - Not touching

    - Not smiling or looking happy

    - Not seeming comfortable

    - Not sounding comfortable

    - Being "too" dressed up

    - Coming off as egotistical

    So here's the deal.

    A regular guy, with a normal self-esteem and a healthy degree of confidence, would steer clear of a girl like that. Why?

    For the same reason you might steer clear of a guy who seemed completely cold, uninterested, or seemed like a player.

    It has nothing to do with your self-esteem or confidence. It has to do with emotional self-preservation. People don't generally like jumping in front of traffic, or taking a bath in gasoline while playing with firecrackers. People also don't like subjecting themselves to a situation where they show their interest to someone only to have that person not show them the same interest. People also don't like subjecting themselves to opening themselves up emotionally, being honest and expressing their feelings for someone; who is only looking for an ego boost or to feel better about themselves.

    So if a girl does or doesn't do anything, to either make or not make a guy feel like she's most likely not interested or just looking for an ego-boost at his emotional expense; then guys will generally back-off.


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What Guys Said 6

  • A few reasons:

    1. You're very pretty, so guys figure they won't stand a chance with you.

    2. You're very smart, so guys figure they'd be too dumb for you, and they'd feel embarassed.

    3. You hang around a certain group of friends a lot. This might intimidate some guys, since you come off as being "exclusive".

    4. You're taller than a lot of the guys, so guys are afraid they'll be too short for you.

    5. For teenage boys, girls are kind of scary and different in general. Teenage guys don't understand girls well, and are shy and don't know what to say.

    What can you do? Well, you won't be able to change the guys, but you can seem more approachable, sweet, open to new people. Talk to everyone, try not to hang around the same friends all the time. Be friendly, smile and talk to boys you like. Most importantly, just be yourself, but let guys see who you are and get to know a guy who you share a common interest with.

  • There are many reasons to why someone can be intimidating. I think for people to help you mroe you need to ask for more specific things from year friends... what makes them feel that you are intimidating.

    Generally I am intimidated by girls who don't smile... and if they are not interested in engaging in conversation... . Also if you make fun of people or very judgemental.. or too harsh .

    try to talk to all people... and shwo interest in them. Don't just hang around year close friends.

    If you see smeone that have something nice or did something good... just go and give a compliment ... join in projects with other groups than year intimate classmates.

    I don't think bieng tall has much to do with it .

    just ask year friends for more specifics. That could help as well.

  • The most intimidating thing for me is when a girl doesn't laugh at my jokes. It makes me feel an inch tall, but they usually didn't even her the joke >.< But I'm tall so I don't have to worry about the girls height. :-)

  • Tall girls intimidate me. Try not to appear so tall. If your the same height or taller then the guy try not to look over his head. lol

    • Lol I think 5'6 is average?

    • Show All
    • Hmm...okay...I feel pretty short at my school most of the time. Most of the guys are wayyy taller than me..and the too pretty thing isn't really an issue with me... Well thanks.(:

    • 5'6" isn't tall. I would love a girl to be about four inches shorter than me, so 6'2" would be perfect :-)

  • maybe you seem overly nice, maybe you do seem stuck up, your very pretty, so tht could be it. I'm dumb so you would intimidate me. being shy is cute tho. idk, I'm just saying random crap

  • Maybe you are to smart and nice, kinda girl you marry...


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