How do you live with the fact of not being as attractive you wished?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well first and foremost you shouldn't wish to be attractive because somebody out there is attracted to you and you don't need to do anything to be attractive but you can do things that make you unattractive. Being yourself is the best thing that you can do for yourself and to yourself I promise you that you can live with the fact that you're not as attractive as you think you should be or might have wished you would have been because being attractive isn't what makes you you you being the best that you can makes you you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok I actually thought about this one. I am not sure your situation and if it is about not looking the way you want and issues with attraction but I will tell you this. When I was younger I had a pretty decent body and not to bad a face I guess? And I got hit on a lot. I got married young and let myself go. After my divorce I never got myself back but somehow I could still attract decent guys. Now I'm 34, I've lost most of my weight, I'm not bad looking and a lot of guys check me out again. Here's the thing I've noticed in my years of experience, the hotter you are does attract MORE MEN, but it doesn't necessarily attract QUALITY MEN. I am on a stretch of meeting crappy guys and I been meeting "meat heads to geeky awkward antique shoppers who flake out on me. Yet, I have a freind who I love to pieces who is my age 5'1 420lbs (she wasn't always that big but fat) and she married a really great Italian guy who took her and her child in as his own. My point is besides quality men is that I'm a decent girl and I'm alone, guys just want sex from me. She s fucked up and very unhealthy and totally scored. She s a good person but I see lots of "ugly" girls with super hot guys. Sometimes you see a outfit in the store and think gross who would wear that, and the next week it's gone cause someone thought it was the sexiest outfit ever.

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What Guys Said 41

  • I just try and be myself, don't judge others and if people don't want to be friends because of my looks i don't blame them there's too much negativity in the world as it is. Id much rather be friends with someone who isint conventionally good looking but has a good personality and is easy to get on with. 😊

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  • I'm fat, I'm missing teeth, I'm bald. What the hell, I give good hugs, I'm a good friend, I'm generous and I give a shit where many wouldn't. I like who I am as a person, for the most part, but recognise I'm a terrible boyfriend so it's not really an issue.

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    • Ah, but would you accept a woman out there with flaws similar to yourself that loves the real, substantive qualities in you as you described? Work on yourself a bit, dress well, and hang around women. There are females that will love you for who you truly are. You might be an excellent boyfriend.

  • why nitpick things you can't control yeah I wish I was taller had a bigger dick etc but it doesn't phase me, I'm doing pretty well for myself, I'm following my career goals have a great girlfriend and I live in a very well off country, you can't compare yourself to other people because there's always someone better you just have to focus on bettering yourself and you will be happy being yourself.

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  • I was very happy with my attractiveness when I was at high school, a lot of girls would come at me pretty easily. Then I started going bald, put on weight and then lost interest in sports, got depressed a lot, getting less and less girls, started smoking. Today I stopped smoking, but this is the Only improvement I did. Decided to give up on love

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    • Chin up and focus on yoga... it'll help you relax, help you get your "lungs" back and it'll make you lose weight. Do that until you feel confident enough to start practicing another sport. And love will come to you eventually.

    • @JManchester99 Excellent advice.

  • I say screw'em.

    The part of me that cares about the way I look died when I graduated high school.

    Obviously you can't really change the shape of your face without surgery, but there's plenty of other things you can control. Such as weight, the way you dress, and posture.

    Why focus on things that's out of your control when you should be focusing on the things that you can take control.

    That or just save up money and get some surgery done.

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  • You can't get stuck in that idea. The only thing you have to do, instead of focusing on attractiveness, is focusing on the rest of you as a person. Be nice to people, they'll thank you for that. Be smart, learn things. Talk to people and learn how to read them, that way you'll be able to help them. Being attractive is something subjective.

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  • Reality is a bitch. If everyone thought like that, nobody would be happy. Your looks eventually go away as you get older anyways. So have fun with being good looking if that's all you care about for at the most 10-20 years, 30 if your lucky.

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  • I know that it could be much worse. Once you start seeing yourself as lucky to have gotten what you have you feel a lot better about it. I'm content being average and I'll do what I can to improve

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  • I just do.
    My cousin is a model with a 6 pack abs, I got a 1 pack flaps. Sometimes I wish I have good body, as I know how to get it properly, but that's it - I'm not a gym person. Not even an exercise person.

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  • It really dosent matter you can be the most beautiful person in the world and be ugly on the inside so no matter what you look like on the outside you don't glow until the beauty on the inside shows

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  • Make money and be a halfway decent person and it all goes away. It's more just insecurities that you're hopefully gonna grow out of.

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  • Easy. You suck it up... develop in other aspects of your physical characteristics aswell as emotional, mannerisms etc.

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  • I just get on with it. If people don't like me for who I am then they are now worth my time.

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  • I got more brains instead. For looks, I can always improve them.

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  • I'm a narcissist, doesn't matter if you don't think I'm hot, I know I'm fucking sexy

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    • I applaud you.

    • Show All
    • @Wally48 Self image is arguably the most important trait, definitely.

    • @TMNIM. If you're 100 pounds overweight, you stink because your personal hygiene is terrible, and you wear frumpy dirty clothes, it doesn't matter how good your self image is. You'll be locked out of many opportunities in life. Like it or not reality is how most people perceive you.

  • you hav to love yrself, every woman bring forth a beauty that's unique and has quality that a man will love so u can live with it because it hav a man to love u

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  • Working hard at it and funding thing you are attracted with and rocking it the best you can

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  • Simple i dont care about how i look or what people think about me i know that my personality shines

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  • Make peace with it lol get comfortable with being by yourself

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  • Dressing nice, making sure I'm clean shaven, wearing cologne etc when I go out mates me feel good and confident about myself.

    But I look at at this way-if I was good looking I wouldn't have needed to develop my personality and wouldn't have the kickarse conversation skills that I have now. I may get fobbed off quickly by some girls who dismiss me for my lack of looks, but the ones who don't get treated to my people skills and love to tell me how funny I am which obviously makes me feel great about myself.

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What Girls Said 15

  • By not letting attractiveness be the thing that matters most to you. Pretty much no one is as attractive as they'd like. We all have good features and less good features.

    Honestly, I was the chubby girl in class for most of my childhood. There were obvious downsides, primarily that I've had to work really hard to manage my weight as an adult. I envy the people who seem to stay in reasonably good shape without a diet plan and regular trips to the gym.

    The unexpected part is that there was actually an upside: I don't primarily base my self worth on how attractive I am. I care more about what I do and who I am than what I look like. Being the hot girl just didn't become an important part of my self image at that formative age. Looking good is nice and all, but my motivation to eat well and work out has more to do with the health benefits than the attractiveness ones. I've had friends who can't leave the house without their makeup being done, and I'm glad not be be shackled to that kind of self consciousness.

    I guess it's a matter of weighing what's actually important to you. I won't lie and say attractiveness doesn't matter at all, there are definite benefits. But is it worth constant worry? There will always be another roll, wrinkle or dark spot. I'm not perfect, I never will be, that's just life. Might as well get on with wringing as much happiness as you can out of it.

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  • I have to say I’m impressed with the attitude of a lot of young people on here. It has taken me a long time to realize that as long as I love myself I don’t need approval from anyone else. Work on being the best you you can be. That’s where confidence comes from.

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  • By focusing on God. If you look at worship leaders at church - a lot of them are obese or very short but they have high self-esteem and nobody cares that they are unattractive. I know obese woman who married good looking lawyers.

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  • I think we all wish we had certain features. The thing is that, there are a number of people who prefer the features we have to the ones that we want. I live day by day and appreciate my appearance for what it is.

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  • By changing your perception of how you view beauty and yourself. So you may not look like the celebrity you look up to, so what? That doesn't mean you're unattractive. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. In the end of the day you have to be the one who loves yourself the most. It's not something that can be done over night. It takes practice loving and accepting yourself. You shouldn't let something as appearance stop you from living in content.

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  • By accepting that your life will suck significantly more if you obsess over something you can't change.

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  • I don't have this problem but you know, there is more in life than your appearance.

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  • By changing the things I can change & accepting the things I can't change.

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  • I'm beautiful I love me and there's always room for improvement

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  • Just deal

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  • No girl suicide isn't a choice your beautiful

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  • I hate myself daily for it

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  • I don't know, I just do, it doesn't bother me.

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  • Sometimes

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  • It can be hard.. but I know i dont see myself the way other do so I try and remind myself of that. I get complimented all of the time on my appearance but people telling you something still won't change how you feel personally.

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