What do you get by being "beautiful"

Yes, this is a strange question

In our age, we live in an era where the thin is beautiful, fat is ugly, if you fall short of what the media tells you, you're inadequate and not enough.

If you're told you're fat, you can either fly into a rage or cry until your eyeballs fall out. Because in this society, fat is bad (thanks Weight Loss Industry.)

But only a few hundred years ago, "chubby" was beautiful, thin was ugly (in China)

Then of course, there's the age old cosmetics industry.

Alright, having said all of that - what would you as a woman get by being "beautiful" or "attractive".

And of all of those things that beauty gives you - which would you want the most?

Thanks again


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't want to say that I'm beautiful, but I know I'm at least pretty. I hope that doesn't sound too awful. I really don't mean it to.

    You get a lot of things. I bloomed late, and I think I know what the difference is between looking plain and looking pretty. Everyone pays more attention to you. Not just guys in your peer group, not even just males in general, but everyone. Women, bosses, random people on the street, even children will all notice and address you more. This is kind of good and kind of bad. There is a point where it gets to be a little tiring. I don't think I'd have what it takes to be a celebrity, because I'm sure they get 20 times as much attention as I do and I struggle with that sometimes. This sounds so obnoxious that I'm a bit uncomfortable writing it. We're not supposed to think of ourselves as pretty, right? And somehow we're just supposed to not notice that everyone is suddenly treating us differently, right? That part I don't like as much. The part where if you notice what's going on and what other people think of you, you're somehow this terrible, vain person. Not crazy about that.

    What I like the most about it is this: I never had the trouble that my less attractive friends did finding a decent guy. Not that every guy on the planet would want me, but enough did that I never had to compromise anything I wanted. When I was with a good looking guy that my family and friends liked and that everyone thought I should marry, I didn't hesitate to leave when I knew I didn't love him anymore. I never wondered if I would find someone that good. I knew I would, and I knew there was a pretty good chance I'd find someone better. I know that not everyone has it that easy. I feel bad for them, but I don't think there's any way for me to even this out. So after feeling kind of guilty about it for a number of years, I finally accepted just enjoying it. So every guy I met seemed to like me at first and then I worked down from there. So even guys with girlfriends often seemed like they were ready to run away with me or whatever. So what? I didn't ask to look like this. And I seriously barely make any effort at all. I almost never wear makeup, and I haven't bought clothes in over a year. It's not my fault, just my lot. There are other things I've not been so blessed with. Lots of them. And so I can like being pretty and all the advantages it gives me.

    Posting this anonymous because I guess that part of me still feels guilty for enjoying that. And yeah, I realize that kind of contradicts what I've said. It was just that I read over my little screed and didn't want anyone to think I was a bitch.


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What Girls Said 10

  • true true

    i guess I'm thin



    um I believe that if you're beautiful, you get more shallow guys hitting on you. the more to deny, the more to not go on a date with, the more you judge who you go out with.

    idk. I get approached by guys but I don' t accept pieces of sh*t to be my boyfriend. just because I had a bad experience with a piece of sh*t. overall , a guy who's shallow is easy to spot

    i think sometimes it' sbetter to be less pretty, because you know the guy isn't after you just for beauty

  • It really depends on what your goals in life are.. for me, I am told that I'm beautiful and all, but I don't see the point. I intend to be a doctor and don't see how my looks can help me at all. Of course, I'd find it a really good compliment if I were to ambition for modeling or acting or something xP

    Beyond the physical things that you can get that I've mentioned above, I think being beautiful is important mainly to a girl's self esteem and confidence. Any compliment makes almost everyone happy to hear it - it could make someones bad day into a really good day just by being told that she (or he) is beautiful/handsome.

    On a side note, what I hate though is how society has made a body which is really emancipated and consider it 'beautiful'. I think the most important thing about being beautiful is to be healthy. Beauty is skin deep anyways, so no one really pays attention to your looks as soon as they know what's underneath all the makeup.

  • I am not going to lie I am probably the most attractive and in shape I have ever been in my life. I started ballroom dancing 7 years ago and I have lost about 40lbs and many inches wish I had done that to know. I feel more confident and love to shop now I enjoy looking my best, but when I was 40lbs heavier I was happy I feel that if you feel attractive and am happy you are.

    One thing I hate is that guys see you more as a sex object and yes I get more dates but many times they are not quality. I feel that it is more based on how I look rather than who I am and the amount of inappropriate questions have increased. But the best thing about being more attractive is that I am more confident and feels that it has helped me succeed all around.

  • I'd get a man who loves me, cherishes me, has incredible morals, who epitomizes virtue and moral goodness, and knows how to make me kiss the floor he walks on. I'd get a man who is dominant and in control and able to make me yearn for him even when he is 60 years old. I'd get the comfort and security of finances and the luxary of being able to live as a housewife. Those are the things I want the most.

  • Being beautiful gives you a certain power and makes you feel good. People respond to you in a better way. The way people respond to you is really powerful. Like if someone was considered ugly and teased all their life, they would be likely to have low self esteem and a different view of the world. But if you are beautiful, people are nicer, you have higher status, guys like you, etc. Not saying that beauty is everything and can make you happy, but it helps.

    I like the status part the best.

  • i would just want to feel good. Feel happy with the way I look, I still got a long ways to go. It really is f***ed up how the media makes us feel. Not good looking enough, but I know people who are not considered "good enough" because they're bigger. But are truly BEAUTIFUL inside and out

  • you get absolutely nothing...i am tall, and athletic...and I've been told that I am beautiful, and I've never had a bf...it gets you no where. so everyone can just stop trying.

  • I know it's lame and it's at an early age but my primary was well, not mature but the kids tried to be more grown up than they were. In year 6 I didn't care about my appearance, I was just going through all these changes but then of course there were the little pre-teen skanks who dressed like sluts and acted like them. They had boobs already they were tall, thin and back then I thought pretty I guess. 'Tall and thin, they must be pretty.' I was short and I was chubby but I was TWELVE! There's no way kids should have to worry about that stuff before high school at TWELVE!

    I finished primary school and then I went to high school. I was teased about my weight but I had a great sense of humor and could always think of a good response/comeback that would make the bullys laugh. Laugh not at me, but at my jokes. I lost a lot of weight. I was still a little overweight though. Guys liked me more and talked to me more. Year 8. Lost more weight, a my best friend died. I gained more weight. I fell in love. I fell out of love. I developed an addiction to alcohol. Then cigarettes. The next year everything kind of died inside of me. I hate to say but I know I'm really pretty and when I lost all of my extra weight everything just went downhill. Guys were more interested, more people looked twice. Almost everyone looked twice, really. I had been off the alcohol for a year. And now I'm back on. I almost became addicted to heroin after being so against illegal drugs. Everyone kind of dropped away because of my stupidity of blocking them out. My confidence of thinking I didn't need those people because I have like hundreds of other friends. In the end I had nobody. This year I know I'm getting my life back on track. I just have to ignore the other temptations. Beauty is so much more than nice eyes flowing hair and a nice body, whatever you associate with it.

    After being through all of this I'm not as ignorant. I know there are so many more important things than that. Beauty is modesty and feeling confident in yourself. It's being kind and personality is really the key to beauty.

  • After being on both sides, I have yet to find the answer to that question. All throughout my teens and first year of college I was the fat girl (200lbs), the "ugly one", or the "she has a cute enough face but she's too fat" one. When I started sophmore year in college and got my first job at a store where my co-workers who were older than me (I was 19 they were 22-30) and absolutely gorgeous I started feeling really bad and insecure about myself. They always hung out and partied together and never invited me. Then my friend who was also beautiful and had started doing some modeling started working with us and they all immediatley took her under their wing and befriended her but never me. That's when I really got tired of being fat and ugly and decided to loose weight. It took me about a year and by the time I was down to 140 lbs I wasn't even working there anymore. But I was proud of myself, buying all these clothes that never fit me before and liked the compliments from people. The attention became addictive, like a drug and before I knew it I spiraled out of control.without even realizing I developed an eating disorder and dropped to 125lbs and I'm pretty tall. I'm not proud of it and after struggling with my ED for the past 7 years of my life I can honestly say.yes, being beautiful and thin gets you attention, you feel good. It changed the way people looked at me, it gave me attention but does being beautil and skinny = happiness? No.

    Does it get you ahead in life? No

    Do I have a high paying amazing career? No. Despite having a BA, I'm stuck at a crappy, dead end, less than minimum wage job

    Do I have a great guy in my life? No

    Love? No

    I actually feel a lot lonelier and unhappy now than I ever did back in the day. Atleast back then I had real friends.

    Beauty isn't everything.

    I truly believe that you need a balance of everything in your life to have real happiness.

    Sure, I'm considered a very pretty girl now. I can wear whatever I want. I can walk around and get checked out constantly. But that doesn't make me. It doesn't fulfill me.

    I guess you can say inside I'm still that insecure, ugly fat girl. I know it has a lot to do with my issues and ED but my point is, you need so much more than just good looks in life. Just like money and power isn't everything.looks aren't either.

    The f***ed up part is, that despite that, I still wouldn't go back to being ugly and fat.

    But then, I never claimed to be normal right?

  • I think it's just a self esteem thing. Not to mention the fact that attractive girls get more attention than unattractive. That being said. Do you treat attractive women different than unattractive? It's just something to think about. If you treat all women the same, then I commend you, if not, well, then you have your answer.

    • Thats pretty much spot on..... you gotta treat all girls the same tho..... not just be nice or whatever to the pretty ones and nasty to the more unattractive ones

    • I treat all women the same. I deal with different customers every day, and everyones worth juging, either they are plane, ugly og pretty. But I don't let that effect the way I respond and treat people. I rather feel that makes it hard for me to actually meet someone to go out with. I'm mostly at work or at home. It would be smart for me to differ the way I comunicate with others (women in perticular) to maby actually get a date. so far I've been married for 11 years, single for two. I'm 30 now.

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