Should I ask him why he likes me?

So I've been dating/hanging out with this guy, and can't tell if he's mainly interested in sleeping with me or not. You know typical same old same old question: Does he like me for me or my body..

Except the answer is both , and I'm just wondering towards which side is he leaning more towards..


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think asking him is a good idea. I have had girls ask me this question before and they would never believe my open and honest answer. I mean really, why would I like her just because of: her eyes, her smile, the way she talks, the way she looks when she is daydreaming, the way she acts when she is frustrated about something? I still don't know the answer girls expect to hear.

    As for "same old same old", women think "If he takes me out to lunch then he is worth sleeping with." Whereas men think "I have to sleep with her to find out if she is worth taking out to lunch." The way it usually happens in the real world is either the girl trusts the guy and ends up burned or the guy keeps showing commitment and ends up burned. I think the trick is to find the balance between the two either by trusting each other on an intuitive level (trust that is gained through non-verbal language) or via open communication.

    I think one of the tricks girls use to find if the guy is into them is to say they like something, on a side note, and see if the guy gets it for them =). For example, the last girl I was into told me that she loves grapefruits and I noticed that she spends a quite a bit of time between classes by making origami flowers. One day she had two really tough tests and I decided to cheer her up by giving her a grapefruit before each test. It took a lot of energy and courage to do it, but her smile was worth it a million times =). I also spent a day learning a bit of origami and made her an origami lily. I think an action is better than words when it comes to telling someone you like them =).

    Oh and a small secret for you: guys LOVE when a girl LETS us do nice things for them and then APPRECIATES it. We like to feel chivalrous. And if a guy gets an opportunity, but doesn't act on it for whatever reason (can't find the courage, too out of this world) don't get too worked up about that, either.

    To sum it up, there is really no given answer to you question. Just use your wit, charm and imagination and I am sure you will get the answer you are looking for!

    Good luck!

    • Haha, that's really sweet. If only there were more guys like that. And if only people were more up front about their feelings/ Oh and smile, hair, eyes, personality, any quirk that she has are all good things to comment on. Girls like to hear that you notice the small things :) Thanks for your response

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What Guys Said 1

  • One way to find out is to stop doing what you normally do. If your boyfriend liked it when you sing to him, you might notice how he seems disappointed that you're not doing so anymore. Or if you put on excessive body weight, he'll have that disappointed look on his face again.

    I know this seems obvious, but it's when you start changing can you tell the differences in your mate's responses. Just remember to communicate, ask what he likes about you. One of my ex-girlfriends came home one day with a hair cut just down to her shoulders. It used to be down to her breasts. She asked if I liked it, I said 'no'. "I liked you with long hair. You know that. Why did you do that?" She said, "I didn't think you'd mind a little trim." I said, "Why didn't you ask? That's a big change." She said, "Hey, it's my hair. You love me or my hair?"

    It didn't last long between us.

    • I don't think changing things just to see if he notices is such a good idea. And yet, at the same time, one girl kept changing her shoes every single day (27 pairs, I counted). I would try to see her everyday just so that I get to see what shoes she's wearing. One time she asked me "Why whenever you see me you look down first and only then you look into my eyes?" And I said "Well, I just want to know what kind of shoes you are wearing that day, that is all." She laughed.

    • That's...not quite what I was trying to advice.

What Girls Said 2

  • all guys want to bang a hot chick. that's a given.

  • Should you ask him why he likes you?

    That answer is YES.

    I ask my guy all the time why he likes me.

    He usually says something like, I like being around you. I like talking to you. I like it that I can be myself around you and you accept me. I like bossing you around (he's playing around ofcourse). He says "I love you" a lot and I always ask "What does that mean" and he usually says something like "It means you can never get away" or something like that. I mean, I think it should be more than OK to ask a guy or anyone else why they like you. It's not that rude of a question.

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