Looks and looks but won't say anything?

I have been in a offline relationship for awhile and this guy knows it, we were or are friends and he works with my boyfriend. When others they work with bring this guy up, in front of me, they emphasize his name, like expecting a reaction or something.

I helped him through a bad breakup and now he won’t talk to me, answer emails etc.. but he constantly comes and reads my blog over and over again, as if he's hoping to find something but won’t say anything.

what does this mean and why won't he tell me what's up?

as of right now NOTHINGS changed with this. some one tagged me 8 times the other night with no responses. I think I'm gonna give up trying to "work things out" with this guy (friendly) and when he's ready he can come to me; if I'm still around for him
true friends are hard to find, if there's not trust then there ain't nothing. so he will have to deal with his own mess alone.
within the past months; it stopped then picked back up...is he trying to tell me something or am I looking into it too much?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you ever heard that psychologists/psychoanalysts never take family, friends or co-workers as patients? It is because when a person opens themselves up to someone, the person they open up to will get to see the weaker side of them, listen to their secret thoughts and feelings. And when someone has seen the weaker side of you, wouldn't you be a little cautious of them? That is why you never see patients becoming friends with their psychologists.

    This guy opened up himself for you and talked about his ex, you helped him out. And now, whenever he sees you (offline or in real life) you remind him of the problems he had with his ex and he is cautious of you, because he shared some private thoughts with you and is afraid that you could potentially (even if he knows you never would) hurt him.

    I don't know what you write about in your blog, but my guess would be that he looks over it because he unconsciously associated you with his feelings about the breakup. When he looks over your articles, it is like he is unconsciously trying to forget about the breakup or get over some of the thoughts he has about it.

    I think the best thing to do is to never remind him about the breakup again unless he brings it up. Just act like you were never involved. I don't think talking will lead anywhere in this situation, but I could be mistaking.

    Good luck!

    • Wow, I never looked at it that way

      I have taken everything from the past out of my blogs...now I just write about nothing more or less (day to day activities, boring stuff) in hopes that he will "regain" his trust in me but so far its not working. any thoughts? I feel as if I have to make him see that I am NOT going to use anything against him but I'm not quite sure how to do it and it doesn’t help that he works with my BF, not daily, and all the guys know (I think) what happened and what I did

    • I think the best would be to let it go, stop thinking about "regaining" trust and act like you were never involved, never bring up the topic. I know you are just trying to help, but he will see it as if he can't solve his own problems. Your friend just needs some time to figure things out. Time is an excellent healer, stop worrying and just let him be =).

    • ..haven't you heard of transferrence? doctors and patients are frequently close. in fact, your theory implies that people in relationships never share their problems, or else they wouldn't be friends. I don't understand where you got this.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • either he has a crush and is too shy about it or he's an anti-social stalker or he blames you for something

    • so how do I get him to say something...anything to me? plus on top of this for some reason he won't read my emails, but like I said he will look at my blogs over and over. Makes no sense to me.

    • try being a little direct...it's great to blog, but if he's not your audience, then good luck talking to the wind...persistence and patience is key with being direct

  • he probably likes you. I don't know why he won't answer your e-mails, tho.

    • so the moral of the story is, acording to you; foolycooly; that he likes me but he can't have me therefore not even being friends is worth it anymore? isn't that kinda childish for a guy in his 20's? if I don't have this right what do you suggest? thanks

    • Show All
    • well then explain your answer please.

    • it sounds like he likes you from everything else, but I don't know why he wouldn't answer emails

  • Maybe he likes you but won't make the move. Maybe trying to figure out if you have feelings for him.

    • yeah but he knows that I am in a relationship, he knows that I like him as a person and a friend but nothing else, I just don't want him to do harm to himself or others because of a girl. and I have tried to get him to say something to me but I can't break the silence; its just plain weird.

What Girls Said 1

  • The same situation I had experienced,but finally we are still friend and nothing happened. Don't think too much maybe he just want to care about you as a friend

    • if this were the case, he could email me stop by when he's in the area etc. we tried to be friends but he screwed that up when he stopped talking to me because he got a gf.

    • If it's really confused you , ask to him to stop it

    • I tried that and he stopped for a few months but then started up again. Is there something I should or could post so he gets the hint? I also tried to email him and ended up being turned in for "spam" because his Girlfriend (or him) didn't like what was written. I just don't know what to do.

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