Does a girlfriend have the right to look through her boyfriend's cell/laptop/etc?

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year; we have talked about marriage and kids. Basically, we're in a serious relationship and we both want to take it to the next level.

Recently, I asked him if he would be OK with me looking through his laptop and cell phone, and he said no, insisting that it was an invasion of his privacy and he felt that it was demeaning to his manhood. So I left it at that. I am not the kind of person to look through his stuff behind his back--I think it's bad karma. But on the other hand, I feel that if he truly had nothing to hide, he would be okay with me looking through his stuff. I've caught him going through MY cellphone on a few occasions, and I didn't mind, although I was a bit annoyed. But if it assures him that I can be trusted, so be it.

Should I be suspicious of the fact that he is absolutely unwilling to let me go through his cellphone or laptop? Please give me your opinions--both guys and gals. I'd so appreciate some feedback... thanks! :D


Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course you do! OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE!

    Forget the stupid idiotic answers below! The only reason you shouldn't be able to is if he is HIDING stuff from you.

    Otherwise who cares?

    People forget. Americans have a terrible habbit of thinking everything is theirs. ITS NOT. when you enter into a relationship you lose privacy and rights you had when single.

    I am a Private Detective working for Pinkerton Detective Agency and Burns Detective Agency.

    Right off the bat I'm going to tell you with 89% certainty HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!

    Feel free to contact me

    or head to my site

    I specialize in Marital Affairs / Cheaters. I have a background Degree in Criminal Justice with a side study in Criminal Investigation and course study in Psychology.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • no, you don't have the right.

  • You don't have the right to do it. Everybody has a personal bubble and for him that must be going too far.

    Some reasons I wouldn't want a woman to go through my phone or laptop are: Candid conversations with friends and parents that are only between me and that other person and my personal p*rn habits could be revealed which some girls will get really upset about but in reality have no effect on the relationship or how I view you.


What Girls Said 2

  • no...he has a right to some privacy..

    my boyfriend of 5 years was doing this constantly and it ended up costing him our relationship.. I have a few (and I literally mean like 3) male friends that I've known for years..long before I had met my boyfriend. One of them text messaged me about coming to his house for a party he was having (nothing wild and crazy...just a few of us friends getting together for some games,food,etc. he is married with two kids) boyfriend read this and FLIPPED out-thought that I was cheating on him. he proceeded to put a shark on my laptop to capture my passwords to my email and facebook accounts. this resulted in him seeing a few emails from my friend (also male) of 12 years..I am close to this guy but not romantically..we always end our emails by telling each other "love ya"..this also caused my boyfriend to flip out..

    end result was he tried to tell me I had to end all contact with all of my male friends and that my daughter could no longer use the male coach she had for gymnastics. I was furious and refused.

    we lasted about 4 months after that until he started hacking into my email again and checking my phone..I ended it.

    You need to trust and respect him...I've never gone through my partner's emails,phones,etc. If you think he is not being faithful then question him on it but respect his privacy...

  • No, that's his personal property. If he's said no you should respect his choice.

    I dislike my boyfriend looking through my phone and laptop, and I know I have nothing to hide. It's just I don't see why he would want to look through my personal things. I don't know why I dislike him looking through them, I just don't.