>> Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks? <<
Because you have high standards on us everywhere else -- you expect us to be rich, know how to fight, drive a car, be at least fairly good looking, have a big penis, have a strong personality, make you laugh, give good cunnilingis...on and on and on. How many guys you know that fit that incredibly long "high" standard creteria?
As for your links...i'd go with the girl without the glasses.
yes, well, the standard women have on men is epic, more or less. So if a woman calls me shallow for chasing after a pretty girl with massive boobs and butt, well...maybe it's because she doesn't care that I don't drive a car because she's my neighbor across the street, the girl next door. :)
I tend to be attracted to a girl because of her personality, but you can't ignore looks. I have never thought too deeply about this issue, but I sometimes find myself wondering whether I will be embarrassed with this girl because she's not pretty enough or she doesn't dress right. Also, pretty girls make me feel good? Don't girls go for handsome guys for the same reasons, no?
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Asker
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I guess but I think guys are more strict about looks.
i think a lot of it has to do with personality, confidence and how you carry yourself. that first girl looks uber shy and the second one does look annoying as some of the guys said. I know a lot of girls that aren't that good looking but they always have a man because they are confident, they carry themselves well and they are fun to be around.
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Nah, personality and confidence are secondary to looks. Guys still like a pretty girl even if she is shy and doesn't have a lot of confidence. If the second girl was hot the guys wouldn't view her as annoying...she'd be considered fun or quirky rather than something so negative.
Honestly, and believe it or not, these women ( if they don't let society get to them) will be the next wives to successful business men. My answer is not a scientifc fact but it is researched. All it takes is for a real man to come along and see the potential, invest in it, and vuala. You'll have a loyal, loving, intellegent woman and she could be just as gorgeous too. It happens all the time.. Just think we've all seen that person in high school that was not attractive as society would intell but after graduation you see them again and it's like what happen between then and now. So apply those same chemics to these two girls and you'll have a masterpiece. Oh and to answer your question it's gone since the beginning of time. That is one thing we may never know but will have to cope with. Read Genesis chapter 29, Esther, and Songs of Solomon (the last two were whole books).
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Asker
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That happens all the time? Really?
I don't care much about money, I just want someone to love me and be good to me, but I haven't met that person yet. So I'm under the impression that guys only like girls that are above their level of attractiveness. I hope it's true that a real man just hasn't come along yet, but how much longer do I have to wait?
In general, human beings are wired to make the connection between health and good looks. A good looking female looks healthy (it's instinctive, I'm not saying it's true for all girls) and therefore can carry the male's descendants more easily. It's pure instinct.
Because of societal pressures.. Also because men, from an evolutionary stand point men unconsciously perceive looks as an indicator of health .. Ability to bear children... and other things ... and hence we are hard wired to seek these things out in a potential mate.
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Asker
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Yeah but there's a clear difference between being healthy and looking ugly. You can be one of the healthiest people in the world and still be ugly. Personally, I am very healthy. My BMI is right in the middle of the healthy range for my height. I rarely get sick. While there are many good-looking people that are sick, have diseases, etc. That's why I am not convinced on this beauty is correlated with health. Yeah right. Guys don't care if the girl has a weak immune system if she's pretty.
very true evolution is very slow to catch up with the changing times... this is why guys who are jerks tend to get girls ... its the same, females are hard wired to seek out confidence because it indicates a person who can provide, protect the young and so on... and guys who are total jerks send these signals and girls respond.. but clearly its obsolete in today's world
Yeah but confidence is something that can be developed over time. Beauty cannot be gained unless drastic measures are taken and beauty usually fades over time, unlike things like confidence.
well its important to understand people aren't total slaves to this things.. and there's more to attraction that physical appearance .. instinctivly we seek out the things we don't have (DNA wise) so every one is attractive to someone ... I'm simply explaining why large groups of guys "flock" to a particular type of girl and vis-versa just because a girl may not have these things dosen't mean she's not attractive to guys at all! this is herd mentality I'm explaining :)
Oh okay herd mentality. That makes perfect sense. I think the media and social aspects impacts guys opinion of girls more than biological aspects. Not to say that it's not biological but I think a lot of people use it validate "shallowness" for lack of better word. If you're shallow why not own up to it, know what I mean? Well anyway thank you for your input. Your answer seems really sincere.
would you prefer that I rate girls using vulgar language? Immature people are afraid to use ways to compare and contrast people. Everyone has to be so politically correct...
I wouldn't say giving girls a number was politically correct, but hey. So what about these 'below 5s'? Are they not worthy of a loving relationship? Are they not good enough for someone who happens to be better looking? And I would argue that many guys I know go after girls way hotter than them, then call the plainer ones (more on their 'level') ugly.
Also "ihatemeganfox" if we are talking about attractiveness, don't we need a system to rate and rank attractiveness so that we can have an intelligent conversation about it?
Human_condition.
I believe everyone deserves love. I am not saying this number system is how much you deserve someone. I am saying 5 may be happy with 4 ,5 or 6.
Actually research shows that guys consistently try to get a girl who is a few points higher (on the looks scale) than they are while women tend to go for guys that are on par.
To FloppyBunny. The problem with what you just said is that men should try to get points higher if they hare working. Attractiveness and employment are things women look for. So a modestly man with a good job SHOULD equal a pretty darn attractive man with a modest job.
Men might go for a higher quality looking girl for this reason.
The other thing you shoudl take into account is that the female form and look will ALWAYS be more beautiful then the males. So basically, I disagree with you.
Everyone has their own idea or preference of what beauty is or isn't. I think what's most important for YOU is that you love yourself and believe that you are beautiful inside and out.Along with that confidence you will attract someone who appreciated you for exactly who you are. I don't think mens standards are extremely high as you think they are...meaning...i don't think all men want Pam Anderson look alikes or whatever society deems as attractive. It's all about ones preferences.
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I love myself but that doesn't mean I can't be realistic about how I really look. Not everyone can be physically beautiful. I know my place. Men do want whatever society deems as attractive (excluding a handful). Yes it is all about one's preference, and men prefer the hot chicks.
Guys have no control over that. It's just like how most women seem to be attracted to jerks. It's human nature. Mature guys learn to weigh the person's overall value based on personality and other factors. Look at the women the Beatles married. Not too attractive for the most part, and they could've had anyone. Like my mom says, "Beauty fades, but dumb is forever."
And for the record, I found the girl in link 1 attractive but not link 2.
I would not go for that unless they ,made up for it somewhere else, but the problem is that other girls can out do them because even if I like the no so attractive girl more as a person the more attractive girl will appear as the better girl. I'm sorry it's shallow but it's what I want so sowwwwy
I wonder that same thing because guys are UGLY! And you females are always saying so! I think that it is more because young females are not taught to have self-respect. If you respected yourself then this question would never have surfaced in the first place.
I personally generally perfer average to moderately pretty girls. if I'm attracted and how much I'm attracted is what matter to me. although I'm a lot pickier about the body. I wasn't attracted to either girl but the second was passable and maybe the second one
Depending on personality, both seem like good enough catches. I don't see a problem with either, though (forgive me for sounding shallow) the second one could be better if she cleaned up a bit. The outfit and hairstyle are not flattering. Still, I wouldn't call either of them ugly. The problem probably lies in the gents you're talking with. Try someone who isn't exposed to attention from 8's and up frequently.
I use ratings because I know that people will know what I'm talking about. I say a number and you have some idea of what I'm talking about. The point is effective communication.
That really just depends on the guy and what he finds attractive. At any rate, it's not just guys: despite what women say to the contrary, they don't go looking for a "sweet, sensitive guy" or a "smart, funny guy"...at least, not at first. If he's not at least a bit attractive, she probably won't hang around long enough to find out what he's like. So, yeah, both genders are equally guilty of being shallow. Sad, but true.
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Both genders are guilty but not equally guilty. Guys are more visual.
Personally looks don't matter. I value intelligence and a sense of humor, kindness, respect, you know. If she's pretty its a plus, but if I fall for her for who she is then a girl will be beautiful to me no matter what.
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It's good to know that not all hope is lost for me. There are guys out there that don't care about looks as much as other things how ever few there may be.
their ego. most guys always want to have the "hottest" girls friend. As guys mature though it seems to become less of an issue because they realize that looks aren't what's important. just give it time and the guys will come.
Because their assholes. By the way any guy that rates a girl is not a guy to be associating with so word of advice: don't worry about it. Those shallow stupid guys who have high standards need no attention.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
cuz we are shallow lol. those 2 girls don't make the cut for me. sorryyy.
anyway, the high standards are true for both genders. the reason we have high standards is because our DNA and animal instinct commands us to reproduce offspring that have sexually appealing traits. sexual attractiveness is something a species needs to survive. men and women rejecting unattractive mates are subsubconciously carrying out natures orders.
dont worry. I'm ugly too. and fat =|
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+1 y
Nah guys can get by on their personality and success alone...for girls it all comes down to looks.
lolol. I wasn't fighting u. I meant you (not you personally, but everyone) can't fight the way of the world.
anyway, I have a better answer to your question. the reason both guys and girls prefer better lookin people (therefore coming off as shallow) is because the first part of any relationship is attraction. we are attracted to beautiful people. the second part is personality. if the person has a bad personality (despite being beautiful) he will be dumped anyway.
My question wasn't "why do guys prefer better looking people?" it's "Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks?" Similar but different. I know why a guy would prefer a better looking person, but I don't know why guys have such high standards when it comes to looks especially.
If you can't understand how questions are similar but not the same question then maybe you aren't the best person to be giving advice.
A guy preferring good looks would be like "I want the hottest girl better but the average girl or below average girl is acceptable if all else fails" A guy with high standards would want the hottest girl and anything else is below their standards and unacceptable. Didn't you read my question description?
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>> Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks? <<
Because you have high standards on us everywhere else -- you expect us to be rich, know how to fight, drive a car, be at least fairly good looking, have a big penis, have a strong personality, make you laugh, give good cunnilingis...on and on and on. How many guys you know that fit that incredibly long "high" standard creteria?
As for your links...i'd go with the girl without the glasses.
Just for laughs, my boyfriend actually fits all of those. LOL. Irony. Not saying that to be a douche or anything. I just think it's pretty epic. XD
yes, well, the standard women have on men is epic, more or less. So if a woman calls me shallow for chasing after a pretty girl with massive boobs and butt, well...maybe it's because she doesn't care that I don't drive a car because she's my neighbor across the street, the girl next door. :)
I don't think most girls require all of those things. I know I don't.
I just want someone that is nice to me and loves me.
well you say that now, probably because you're 16, but are you going to feel that way in 5 or 10 years when you grown into a woman?
I'm not 16. I'm not even in high school. Actually it has been 5 years since I was 16.
Jesus-H-Christ! Who the F am I talking to then? Rosula or the anonymous girl who put up the topic?
Question asker? Aren't you? I thought you were referring to me.
No, I was refering to Rosula, the New Zealand chic.
I just want equality (tho penis size does matter some what)
Funny, the only trait I care about there is 'makes me laugh'. But then I'm ugly so guys don't tend to consider me.
Then you should get a guy with a small penis so you could laugh at that.
I tend to be attracted to a girl because of her personality, but you can't ignore looks. I have never thought too deeply about this issue, but I sometimes find myself wondering whether I will be embarrassed with this girl because she's not pretty enough or she doesn't dress right. Also, pretty girls make me feel good? Don't girls go for handsome guys for the same reasons, no?
I guess but I think guys are more strict about looks.
i think a lot of it has to do with personality, confidence and how you carry yourself. that first girl looks uber shy and the second one does look annoying as some of the guys said. I know a lot of girls that aren't that good looking but they always have a man because they are confident, they carry themselves well and they are fun to be around.
Nah, personality and confidence are secondary to looks. Guys still like a pretty girl even if she is shy and doesn't have a lot of confidence. If the second girl was hot the guys wouldn't view her as annoying...she'd be considered fun or quirky rather than something so negative.
Honestly, and believe it or not, these women ( if they don't let society get to them) will be the next wives to successful business men. My answer is not a scientifc fact but it is researched. All it takes is for a real man to come along and see the potential, invest in it, and vuala. You'll have a loyal, loving, intellegent woman and she could be just as gorgeous too. It happens all the time.. Just think we've all seen that person in high school that was not attractive as society would intell but after graduation you see them again and it's like what happen between then and now. So apply those same chemics to these two girls and you'll have a masterpiece. Oh and to answer your question it's gone since the beginning of time. That is one thing we may never know but will have to cope with. Read Genesis chapter 29, Esther, and Songs of Solomon (the last two were whole books).
That happens all the time? Really?
I don't care much about money, I just want someone to love me and be good to me, but I haven't met that person yet. So I'm under the impression that guys only like girls that are above their level of attractiveness. I hope it's true that a real man just hasn't come along yet, but how much longer do I have to wait?
In general, human beings are wired to make the connection between health and good looks. A good looking female looks healthy (it's instinctive, I'm not saying it's true for all girls) and therefore can carry the male's descendants more easily. It's pure instinct.
Please read what I said to neardark.
Bullsh*t
Because of societal pressures.. Also because men, from an evolutionary stand point men unconsciously perceive looks as an indicator of health .. Ability to bear children... and other things ... and hence we are hard wired to seek these things out in a potential mate.
Yeah but there's a clear difference between being healthy and looking ugly. You can be one of the healthiest people in the world and still be ugly. Personally, I am very healthy. My BMI is right in the middle of the healthy range for my height. I rarely get sick. While there are many good-looking people that are sick, have diseases, etc. That's why I am not convinced on this beauty is correlated with health. Yeah right. Guys don't care if the girl has a weak immune system if she's pretty.
very true evolution is very slow to catch up with the changing times... this is why guys who are jerks tend to get girls ... its the same, females are hard wired to seek out confidence because it indicates a person who can provide, protect the young and so on... and guys who are total jerks send these signals and girls respond.. but clearly its obsolete in today's world
Yeah but confidence is something that can be developed over time. Beauty cannot be gained unless drastic measures are taken and beauty usually fades over time, unlike things like confidence.
well its important to understand people aren't total slaves to this things.. and there's more to attraction that physical appearance .. instinctivly we seek out the things we don't have (DNA wise) so every one is attractive to someone ... I'm simply explaining why large groups of guys "flock" to a particular type of girl and vis-versa just because a girl may not have these things dosen't mean she's not attractive to guys at all! this is herd mentality I'm explaining :)
lol I'm sorry about all the spelling goofs there btw
Oh okay herd mentality. That makes perfect sense. I think the media and social aspects impacts guys opinion of girls more than biological aspects. Not to say that it's not biological but I think a lot of people use it validate "shallowness" for lack of better word. If you're shallow why not own up to it, know what I mean? Well anyway thank you for your input. Your answer seems really sincere.
well its a good question, it really makes you think.. thanks for asking it :)
Guys pretty much try to date and flirt within their attractiveness range. Sometimes plus or minus one level of attractiveness.
Only sometimes do guys try to hit a "jackpot" and score a much more attractive girl.
Most of the time, we are MUCH MORE REASONABLE THEN GIRLS ARE.
In my opinion, any girl who is a 5 or higher, on a scale out of 10, should be able to get a guy.
That's not what I've noticed
Again with the bullsh*t rating.
would you prefer that I rate girls using vulgar language? Immature people are afraid to use ways to compare and contrast people. Everyone has to be so politically correct...
I am just trying to make a clear point!
I wouldn't say giving girls a number was politically correct, but hey. So what about these 'below 5s'? Are they not worthy of a loving relationship? Are they not good enough for someone who happens to be better looking? And I would argue that many guys I know go after girls way hotter than them, then call the plainer ones (more on their 'level') ugly.
I guess I rather have an archaic number system instead of..
hot..pretty...pretty ok...pretty ugly..ugly...way ugly..
lol.
A system like that, I believe, is worse.
Also "ihatemeganfox" if we are talking about attractiveness, don't we need a system to rate and rank attractiveness so that we can have an intelligent conversation about it?
Human_condition.
I believe everyone deserves love. I am not saying this number system is how much you deserve someone. I am saying 5 may be happy with 4 ,5 or 6.
Actually research shows that guys consistently try to get a girl who is a few points higher (on the looks scale) than they are while women tend to go for guys that are on par.
To FloppyBunny. The problem with what you just said is that men should try to get points higher if they hare working. Attractiveness and employment are things women look for. So a modestly man with a good job SHOULD equal a pretty darn attractive man with a modest job.
Men might go for a higher quality looking girl for this reason.
The other thing you shoudl take into account is that the female form and look will ALWAYS be more beautiful then the males. So basically, I disagree with you.
Everyone has their own idea or preference of what beauty is or isn't. I think what's most important for YOU is that you love yourself and believe that you are beautiful inside and out.Along with that confidence you will attract someone who appreciated you for exactly who you are. I don't think mens standards are extremely high as you think they are...meaning...i don't think all men want Pam Anderson look alikes or whatever society deems as attractive. It's all about ones preferences.
I love myself but that doesn't mean I can't be realistic about how I really look. Not everyone can be physically beautiful. I know my place. Men do want whatever society deems as attractive (excluding a handful). Yes it is all about one's preference, and men prefer the hot chicks.
Guys have no control over that. It's just like how most women seem to be attracted to jerks. It's human nature. Mature guys learn to weigh the person's overall value based on personality and other factors. Look at the women the Beatles married. Not too attractive for the most part, and they could've had anyone. Like my mom says, "Beauty fades, but dumb is forever."
And for the record, I found the girl in link 1 attractive but not link 2.
I would not go for that unless they ,made up for it somewhere else, but the problem is that other girls can out do them because even if I like the no so attractive girl more as a person the more attractive girl will appear as the better girl. I'm sorry it's shallow but it's what I want so sowwwwy
Huh?
I wonder that same thing because guys are UGLY! And you females are always saying so! I think that it is more because young females are not taught to have self-respect. If you respected yourself then this question would never have surfaced in the first place.
I personally generally perfer average to moderately pretty girls. if I'm attracted and how much I'm attracted is what matter to me. although I'm a lot pickier about the body. I wasn't attracted to either girl but the second was passable and maybe the second one
Its about whether I find them attractive or not.
If I'm attractive, I work out, and go to school to become smarter and more cultured. Why should I settle for less?
College educated individuals want smart partners. People who workout want healthy partners. Good looking people want good looking partners.
The standards are what you set. You work on yourself, to be able to attract the people you want to attract.
If you're a loser then don't expect to attract anything better.
Depending on personality, both seem like good enough catches. I don't see a problem with either, though (forgive me for sounding shallow) the second one could be better if she cleaned up a bit. The outfit and hairstyle are not flattering. Still, I wouldn't call either of them ugly. The problem probably lies in the gents you're talking with. Try someone who isn't exposed to attention from 8's and up frequently.
Why is everything always with rating? So ignorent...
I use ratings because I know that people will know what I'm talking about. I say a number and you have some idea of what I'm talking about. The point is effective communication.
That really just depends on the guy and what he finds attractive. At any rate, it's not just guys: despite what women say to the contrary, they don't go looking for a "sweet, sensitive guy" or a "smart, funny guy"...at least, not at first. If he's not at least a bit attractive, she probably won't hang around long enough to find out what he's like. So, yeah, both genders are equally guilty of being shallow. Sad, but true.
Both genders are guilty but not equally guilty. Guys are more visual.
Males and females in the US have been ruined by tv/movies/porn/ect ect so our values are all skewed regarding the opposite sex... just the way it is
that said
A warm , positive , flirty personality goes a long long way .
eat well , work out , be fun
Personally looks don't matter. I value intelligence and a sense of humor, kindness, respect, you know. If she's pretty its a plus, but if I fall for her for who she is then a girl will be beautiful to me no matter what.
It's good to know that not all hope is lost for me. There are guys out there that don't care about looks as much as other things how ever few there may be.
their ego. most guys always want to have the "hottest" girls friend. As guys mature though it seems to become less of an issue because they realize that looks aren't what's important. just give it time and the guys will come.
Because their assholes. By the way any guy that rates a girl is not a guy to be associating with so word of advice: don't worry about it. Those shallow stupid guys who have high standards need no attention.
cuz we are shallow lol. those 2 girls don't make the cut for me. sorryyy.
anyway, the high standards are true for both genders. the reason we have high standards is because our DNA and animal instinct commands us to reproduce offspring that have sexually appealing traits. sexual attractiveness is something a species needs to survive. men and women rejecting unattractive mates are subsubconciously carrying out natures orders.
dont worry. I'm ugly too. and fat =|
Nah guys can get by on their personality and success alone...for girls it all comes down to looks.
Well then that's just the way of the world. Can't fight it.
I didn't mean to come across like I was fighting. I just wanted to let you know that I disagree.
lolol. I wasn't fighting u. I meant you (not you personally, but everyone) can't fight the way of the world.
anyway, I have a better answer to your question. the reason both guys and girls prefer better lookin people (therefore coming off as shallow) is because the first part of any relationship is attraction. we are attracted to beautiful people. the second part is personality. if the person has a bad personality (despite being beautiful) he will be dumped anyway.
in other words, all relationships are started by physical attraction, but its personality that keeps people together.
My question wasn't "why do guys prefer better looking people?" it's "Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks?" Similar but different. I know why a guy would prefer a better looking person, but I don't know why guys have such high standards when it comes to looks especially.
if you can't understand how those 2 questions are the same, then your beyond helping.
in all honesty, it would have to be because of the primitive urge to f*** something beautiful.
If you can't understand how questions are similar but not the same question then maybe you aren't the best person to be giving advice.
A guy preferring good looks would be like "I want the hottest girl better but the average girl or below average girl is acceptable if all else fails" A guy with high standards would want the hottest girl and anything else is below their standards and unacceptable. Didn't you read my question description?
When I read or write for too long I lose my train of thought.