If a girl says "maybe" when you ask her out, is this more "yes" or "no"?

I work at a busy cafe, and it's a great opportunity to meet new people and make new friendships. On my radar recently has been an older woman who always stops to talk to me on my breaks about my goings on etc, wants to know more, yadda yadda. Also very flirtatious, frequently giving me the F-me-in-the-bathroom-now look.

Now I'm actually quite attracted to this woman not only because she's single and pretty, but also very intelligent and rather educated. Today, I asked "What are you doing Thursday? Wanna come hang out with me?" -- to which she IMMEDIATELY looked away, and went "Ummmmmmm, I'm not sure yet". It wasn't awkward or anything, but I was quite taken aback. Wasn't by any means the answer I was looking for. Any ideas?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well depending on how much older the woman is, she could see you as nothing more than a child, even though you aren't. Kind of like when I was asked out by a 17, even though I'm 19 I still said no because I think that even 17 year olds are still kids even though I can be considered one by older people as well. You probably should not have been so up front. Maybe you should approach it like this "Hey! It sucks I only get to talk to you while I'm at work. I really enjoy our conversations, maybe some time we can hang out and talk some more?" That way you are leaving it up to her to take it the rest of the way. If she says yes then you are good, if she says no then you know she is not interested in even having a friendship past your work.

    PS When a girl says maybe, it usually means no, unless she is flirting when she says it and you will know because she will be smiling when she says it or the tone of her voice. then maybe means you will probably get what you were asking for eventually, when she chooses to let you have it


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're out dude. Why? The hesitation, and the way you approached the subject.

    Next time, ask for her number, THEN set the date. You put her on the spot with the date question...With her giving you her phone number, it doesn't mean she has to commit to anything when you ask for it. She could give it to you and then just NOT answer her phone when you call (another sign she's not interested).

    Also, this is just my opinion and style...in the future, don't ask a girl if she wants to hang out. You tell her you want to take her out... "Hey hot-girl-from-the-cafe, I want to take you to x,y,z. I'll pick you up at 6PM. What's your address?" By doing so, you sound decisive, and confident. Traits women love in a man. Not weak. "Uhhh...so uhh...maybe...uhh...perhaps you would possibly...uhh...maybe want to hang out with me sometime?" Ugh dude.

    Maybe isn't good enough. I want a definite yes. And you should too.

    Think about it.

    • I'm not sure I agree with that sort of mentality. Sure, ultimately, a woman would love to be told what to do each step of the way but it's maybe 1% at most of men who actually lead this much in dating. Nine times out of ten, a girl will hang out with you regardless of whether she has any interest in boning. Bogus statistics, but really I'm starting to think she said "mmmmmaybe" because I put her on the spot in front of a few people. Bad move. Still smiles at me a lot?

    • It's not telling a woman what to do. You're not telling her to do anything. Like I said...it's my style...just sharing. It works for me because I weed out the women who aren't interested in me. A majority of women I know want the man to take the lead and be decisive.

      Even if you're just looking to have sex...get the number, then go from there. If she didn't give me the number, I'd ignore her...but then again, that's just my opinion.

      You asked for my ideas, I gave them. Good luck!

    • Don Juan.. you are right...hence he did not get the date... move on...my friend... Let me tell you. Find someone who looks better than she does and have her come to the cafe. I bet you that maybe she said will turn into yes...and a lot more...