I hate how I look, and I hate being vain!

I have many male friends and they are comfortable discussing "chicks" with me... they all seem to like girls who look nothing like me. They like blondes, green or blue eyed, with big boobs, big butts, nice smooth legs. I'm a brunette, dark eyes, small boobs, yeah kind of a big butt (but I don't like it) and I also hate my legs (cellulite and knock knees, yikes!).

I don't know why but I end up feeling so ugly after they say these things. I know some girls don't care about that stuff but I do! I feel damn ugly. It's hard to ignore. I know people say looks aren't everything, but they clearly are important, it's just most guys are PC. Even my ex checked out that type of women while with me. It made me feel like he was settling. No amount of "I love you for YOU! Not your looks!" could make me feel better. Yeah, I'm insecure... but how not to be? Even the ugliest guys feel the right to trash other girls' looks, or feel entitled to a really hot girlfriend.

I just feel like I'm not enough. Like I'll never be. I hate how I look. Or I wish I was a guy... they have many reassures, but they're different, not so looks related. I hate having to worry so much about something I can't change. And yes, I've tried very hard to ignore it, or I've tried focusing on good things I have (personality, brains, talents), but it doesn't feel like enough. When was the last time you heard guys go: "Oh she's so hot, she has a 4.0 GPA and writes the most amazing poetry... I wish I could f*** her!". Yeah, never... so brains and talents don't matter as much... and I wish I had that validation that I'm hot.

There's a new girl in our group. She's nice yeah, but she's also a bit of a bitch (more than I am at least). She's blond, pretty, big boobs, big butt, etc. And they all treat her differently than me, it's pathetic. They're all nice to her and don't treat her like "one of the guys". Oh and I do make an effort to look good. And I'm also not fat.

I hate how I look. Is there some sort of mental technique I can use to stop being affected by all this? I feel so ugly it's not even funny... even though I've not been called ugly... it's just what I gather from guys and their lust for eye candy. I hate not being eye candy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys care about looks,not personality.

    I'm ALWAYS amused at how the ugliest,fattest,more unattractive individuals have the highest expectations in a partner lol Even on here,some of the guys think they are Gods gift to earth yet down talk chicks,I know they attempt to make themselves feel better by saying all we[girls] care about is personality but they sure as hell are lying to themselves.

    Anyways,as for feeling better about yourself.I noticed you pointed out things you *think* are flaws,well perhaps if you worked on them,you'd feel better about yourself AND also look more attractive to guys.

    Brunette hair...girl,brunette hair is gorgeous,I don't even know too many guys who chase after blonds except for the occasional natural european blond girl.Megan Fox,Mila Kunis,Keira Knightely(who is a f'ing goddess my gosh she is damn attractive),Katy Perry,all brunettes:)

    I love my brown hair although I'm going to color it black.

    Take care of your hair.Maybe get a new haircut.But deep condition it once a week,straighten it every now and then or curl it!

    Cellulite...There's the Nivea body lotion for cellulite and there's the Bliss Fat Girl Slim cream(which supposedly works wonders)

    Squats and lunges can be your best friend.

    Do 30-60 minutes of cardio a day.

    Just take car of yourself,treat your body well.Take care of your hair,skin,health and you have nothing to worry about.

    • Yeah lol, forgot to mention... I live in South America and for the most part we're practically all brunette (girls and guys). So blond and light colored eyes are exotic here. I mean, this works great for me, because I prefer dark haired guys with dark eyes... but guys seem to like blondes better.

      Anyway, thanks for the tips :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 4

  • i know how you feel, my fiance ALWAYS has to check out the blond with the perfect body.. makes me feel pretty crappy..

    maybe if you try flirting with your dude friends a little bit they'll treat you differently

  • well how do you dress? I noticed that clothes and how you dress have a lot to do with how guys see you. is there any difference between the way you dress and the way the new girl in your group dresses?

    girl I just wanna let you know I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am always the girl that guys can talk about other girls about but not good enough to want to get to know on a deeper level.

  • You can't help being insecure with those kinds of dudes surrounding you. Next time a guy opens up his trap to talk about how hot the anti-you chick is, start talking about dudes you see who tickle your fancy. That should shut them up pretty quick.

    As for you hating how you look. I'm sure there's something you can do. Experiment with makeup or try a different style of clothes. Get a new haircut. Get highlights. Get a tan. As girls, there are many ways of primping to make yourself look more aesthetically pleasing. :)

  • I agree 100%. Guys are total gentlemen to hot girls even if she isn't that good of a person. Girls are judged on their beauty before anything else. Doing some of the thing Evangelina listed might help a little but if the reason you think you're ugly is because guys aren't fawning over you, then I think you still aren't going truly feel beautiful. If anyone ever wonders why girls are so insecure and have low self esteem, this is the reason why. Why is it that society looks down upon ugly people, yet when that person decides to get plastic surgery, that's looked down upon as well?