Do I look too desperate?

OK so when I started college I made a few friends. I'm very shy and on of my girlfriends is very friendly and outgoing. Through her I met this boy, who was cute. When I was in high school I used to really imagine being with a guy like him. lol I probably sound real lame right now haha.

But anyway! =] he seemed very nice, friendly and outgoing. SO anyway he would flirt with me && sit next to me on the bus, and be all touchy feely. But I just played it off like I didn't like him, but I did.

One day when we were on the bus a stranger asked if we were together, && he said "no this is my best friend". Which was nice too hear, but it made me sad at the same time. During the winter break I've been texting him to show some interest. But I've always been the first one to talk to him. I tried not to for like 5 days but when I was high with my friends something just possessed me to text him LOL. he was cool with it. But it bothers me because I don't know if he's turned off by me. He accepted my request on fb but I don't want to bother him or anything. I'm too shy && I feel like pretty girls go after him everyday. How should I handle this. I can't stop thinking about him.
My whole thing is I DONT want to ruin the friendship, because he's really one of my first real guy friend you know. I'm trying to wait it out, but deep down I know sooner or later her is going to be tied down to somebody =(


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you really care about him, I would reach out to express interest. But don't be cryptic. From my experience, guys do not pick up on what we think are obvious flirtatious signals. Here's a handful of scenarios for you from my life that should help you out.

    I've had many flirty guy friends who are NOT interested in pursuing a relationship. I've never liked any of them like that in the first place, but even if I did, they wouldn't return the feeling. They would still make strange comments like "a girl as pretty as you can get anything" or tell me a little too much like "so I'm in the sauna at the gym and sweaty as hell, lol"... However, I've NEVER been close to the guy friends who did this to me. Your case is different. You actually have a legit friendship going on with this guy. These guys in my life were more so friends of my best friends.

    Once, I told a guy I liked that, well, I liked him. We were friends for a while too. And I was so sure he was giving small flirty responses to my little flirty actions, but neither of us went over the top or were inappropriate with what we said or did. In fact, we were freakishly wholesome. Still, when I told him I liked him, it ruined everything. He stopped talking to me out of awkwardness and we lost our amazing friendship. This happened my senior year of high school, and now that I'm a freshman in a university, he goes to the SAME university as me, and we still don't talk. We said an occasional hello during welcome week, but that was pretty much it.

    Then again, when I expressed interest in another guy later on after my awkward incident with the guy in the above paragraph, he reciprocated my interests. Now we're dating, and we're very happy, and thus far pretty devoid of drama I'm proud to say. :) I'm very glad that the guy I asked out first turned me down, because I know for a fact I'd be happier with dating my current boyfriend. By far.

    This goes to show you how guys can act and think regarding the situation you're in. If you want to, go ahead and make your feelings known. Just know ahead of time that there are two very real reactions that I exhibited above, which can happen to you. For your sake though, I really hope you have a happy result like I did with my boyfriend. :) But, if not, remember -- it wasn't meant to be. There's someone else out there for you that's better, guaranteed.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Just ask him. If he turns you down, you're better off for it. If he doesn't, jackpot.

  • let him his when your alone with him "we are good friends right? but there's something I got to tell you, for awhile now I've had a crush on you, I didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship as you are the only real guy friend I had (you don't have to had the guy friend bit if you didn't want to) but I felt like I had to tell you."

    then tell him "you don't have to say anything, I'm just letting you know"

    then he knows and then its up to him what he wants to do


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