IN GENERAL: what 10 things do men find most attractive in a woman, + what 10 things do women find hot in a guy

Hi guys, I'm writing an article for my blog, and I just wanted to know, what 10 things give a guy the green light to want to have a long term relationship with a woman and vice versa. Please try to make your answers a little deeper than just good-looks, I'm really looking for what men and women want in their partners as far as personality and mind goes. ! hope your all well!


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. The ability to carry on a conversation at many different levels.

    By that I she can have philosophical discussions, and other types of intelligent conversation, but is also capable of talking about silly inconsequential things, and make them seem very interesting.

    2. a compatible sense of humor.

    3. Generally a happy person.

    I wouldn't want someone to base their happiness on me, that is a lot of pressure, and I certainly don't want to be involved with someone who is constantly feeling down.

    4. Some sort of talent.

    A woman that has some sort of skill beyond talking and looking pretty. She doesn't need to be a great musician, or a great artist or anything like that. It can something as simple as being good at her job, or being a decent cook.

    5. Needs a man sometimes.

    I don't necessarily mean in the bedroom, but guys like it when they are called upon to perform manly duties. Even if it is simple stuff like killing spiders, opening pickle jars and fixing leaky faucets.

    6. Above average intelligence.

    Like being talented, the standards aren't too high here, it's fine if she sucks at math, or makes spelling mistakes, but as long as we can talk without the conversation making me want pull my hair out, it's all good.

    7. virtuous.

    She must be a good person at heart, not a saint, but greedy or selfish girls are a turnoff

    8 and 9

    confident and humility

    I know these seem contradictory, but they aren't necessarily. I like it when a woman is confident when she knows what is going on and is in control, but isn't afraid to show her weaknesses and admit mistakes

    10. optimistic


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • 1)Looks.. If I'm not attracted to her physically, it'll be a big issue. I'm not asking for "a perfect 10" but there needs to be mutual physical attraction or it just won't fly.

    2)Sense of humor, I'm a funny guy, I like to make other people laugh and I like to laugh myself...

    3)Honesty, Relationships are build on trust which is well easier if your an honest person.

    4)Ambition, I don't mean this in a work type of way. I mean ambition as someone who actually has dreams, goals and interests and is at least somewhat driven to obtain or complete them.

    5)Confidence, with my lifestyle and such.. it won't last if you have self esteem issues. You'll doubt too much and it'll destroy whatever potential relationship we could have.

    6)Socially adequate, Well... if you can't carry a conversation with me, its quite weird as I'm rather varied. It doesn't always have to be intelligent conversation, sometimes a bit of chit chat is fine. I have a lot of friends, I enjoy meeting new people and getting along with your friends is something I hope is expected from both sides.

    7)Intelligence, You just need to have it. I'm fairly intelligent myself and while I do enjoy simple conversation, as far as my partner goes.. I'd like to have some intelligent conversation every now and then aswell. I don't like having to think for 2 people :(

    8)Sense of style, with this I don't mean you should wear expensive clothing but you should at least be able to colourmatch and dress for the ocassion. If I take you along to a formal party, you shouldn't really get there in jeans and a top.

    9)Playfullness.. If your serious all the time and can't embrace your inner child or my inner child, we'd have some issues :P with this I mean busting balls, acting crazy and not being an adult 100% of the time =)

    10)Needs to know her way around the kitchen.. I can help with chores and household stuff but I simply can't cook, so yes I'll be looking at you to take that role at least :>

  • Well, that isn't easy, but well, I'll give it a go :-)

    1: Trust, she trust me, and I trust her, I think this is really important, and also one thing I really find attractive at a girl, since it's so important for me.

    2: Her smile, and her ability to be happy. I don't wan't a girl who walks around and is sad all the time.

    3: Self esteem, I wan't her to know that I am with her for a reason, not because I'm forced to it. And yes, I know a lot of girls has low self esteem, but please, don't show it!

    4: I know you don't want to hear this, but of course I have to be attracted to her too, a good look is a also something I find attractive (Yea, fun eh?).

    5: Humor, my girl has to have a sence of humor, that is one of the things I first look after when I'm talking to a new girl.

    6: Personal hygiene is important, of course you can look ugly as hell in the morning, I know, becouse I do ^^, but it's important that the girl dosn't smell, that she want's to take a shower, and shave her legs, armpits so on.

    7: She's taking it easy, not talking future too early with me, lke babies, house, dog, car and so on, I would run away, screeming. This is something you can talk about when you have been together for a certain amount of time.

    8: Very social, I got a lot of friends I would want my girlfriend to meet, and I want her being able to say hello and introduce herself, even talk to people without me being right next to her.

    9: Spontaneous, I would have to oppertunity to just say "Hey, want to go out for dinner and catch a movie afterwards?" without her thinking too much about it.

    10: She has to be intelligent, not super intelligent, but blonde-stupid is such a turn-off for me, of course it's allright not to know everything, and ask a stupid question without thinking about it, that is fun, as long as it dosn't happen every time you talk to her!

    Damn, 10 things? Wasn't easy to write, but I hope you can use it ;-)

  • 1. Trustworthiness. This is the foundation of a relationship; if you can't trust them, you can't love them.

    2. Being able to have a conversation with them.

    3. Open-mindedness

    4. Morals. Not that she has to have Christian morals or anything like that, but she needs to have morals. A conniving, manipulative, fiendish woman is the worst.

    5. Enjoys pleasing me. Not just sexually, but that is a big part of is. This does go both ways though, and I believe a good relationship has both people in the couple wanting to make the other happy.

    6. Honest and open. Kinda tied in with #1

    7. Physical attractiveness. NOTE: this does NOT mean you have to be an 80 pound stick figure definition of what women think female attractiveness is. I'm just saying there needs to be mutual physical attraction.

    8. Reliability.

    I dunno, that's all I got.


What Girls Said 1

  • Top Ten things I find attractive in a guy

    1. Spirituality, I'm a Christian and I need my guy to believe what I believe

    2. A good smile, one that can make me smile anytime I look at it

    3. Not afraid to hold my hand in public

    4. Smart

    5. Funny

    6. Common Interests

    7. Not too clingy

    8. Good Family

    9. Treats me really good

    10. Good looks are just icing (;


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