Most Helpful Guy
Wear a top hat and tip it towards her with a smile every time she does something you like. It will teach her good behavior. When she says something you don't like, like "I'm a feminist", then give her a smug look and throw the hat on the ground. This does in fact work and really taps into female psychology. It's science. I promise that it won't make you look autistic.
Most Helpful Girl
I can't tell when I don't see the picture.