Guys, are looks really the biggest factor?

I've seen a few posts on here from guys that seem to be a little bitter about the dating game. Whatever their reasons are, I read something they said on a few different posts that disturbed me. They said that girls have it so easy in the dating world because all we have to be is hot. That we can be insecure, stupid, bitchy, etc. But if we're hot, we're considered girlfriend material, and guys will always want to be with us. They think it's dumb that women care so much about personality (because that causes us to be more picky), and don't understand why we don't just care about looks like they do.

Is this true? I know they were meaning it to seem like we had it so easy, but it's actually made me thing quite a bit about what guys want. I feel that I have a lot to offer a man physically and personality, and it's really depressing for me to think that my personality doesn't matter that much. That my looks are the main factor and I could be any fake, dumb chick off the street and I'd still have plenty of guys after me. That the things I believe are very unique and special about myself, guys won't appreciate at all.

Are these guys right? Is a good personality just a bonus but not a necessity? Looks are the necessity?
  • Yes, looks are the biggest factor
    Vote A
  • No, looks aren't the biggest factor
    Vote B
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This is one of the posts I'm talking about.

Direct quote, "It's because girls just have to be cute and pretty, look good in order to attract guys, in order to be girlfriend material, that's all, a girl can be bratty, boring, have no life, be negative everything as long as she is very hot."


Most Helpful Guy

  • well in general men and women usually are lookin for different things in a mate. biologically speaking, men want a girl who is attractive to HIM, and every guy has different taste(unless he's a follower and just shapes his tastes around media, his friends etc etc). Then if he's attracted to her he wants her to be pleasant company for a possible relationship.

    That scares girls because most of you are insecure about your looks. And seeing as guys are so chicken sh*t to even try to hit on girls, girls just assume they aren't good looking and develop a negative self image.

    Girls are more interested in a guys personality usually because looks alone don't say too much about who he is and what he's about. Sure it says a little but she has to talk to him to see if she likes him or is repelled by his character. Its similar to guys but guys usually think attractive or not first.

    If you think about it, girls have a more mature attitude for long term relationships.

    Now, to address those idiots on this board that say a girls personality doesn't matter... those guys are obviously virgins who have never dated a hot crazy chick who drives them insane. Once you've dated one of them, you learn your lesson lol

    • i wonder what happend to this douchebag, piece of sh*t, why did he delete his account? he thinks he is all "Manly", but he is a coward, p**** for deleting his account

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What Guys Said 16

  • Yes and no. I can't speak for all guys but this is how it works for me:

    1. Both looks and personality have to meet a certain standard

    2. Then, the girl must have something above that standard which can be either looks or personality or both, but there has to be a certain amount of something beyond 'acceptable'.

    3. Now she is a girl I would consider dating. What makes girls more attractive than other within acceptable dating is that some are hotter and some have a better personality, it's like OK, now you get a pass on the Will I Date You test, how many extra credit points do you get that give you an advantage?

    And the difference between looks and personality come in at this point. Looks can only get you so many credit points, but personality can get you as many as whatever. So for example, it's easier to get from step 1 to step 2 by having a great personality than having great looks, even though both are possible, and it's easier to beat other girls in being more appealing to me by having a great personality too rather than looks.

    4. Once I've not only deemed you dateable, and now we are dating, but I am looking to fall in love with you and see you as 'the one' etc. Looks have to reach a standard where you are not going to let yourself go. That's a pass/fail standard. If you pass that, there's a standard for personality too which is a pass/fail standard but its millions of times more important than the looks standard because I could marry a supermodel and get bored after a year, but I could marry an average/good looking girl with an amazing personality and love her forever without thinking twice.

    But as I said, that's just how it is for me. :)

  • Yes, it's true. However, that's not to say that a good personality counts for nothing.

    I believe that, for men, our attraction to a woman is dependent almost solely on her appearance. Our affection for a woman is heavily dependent on her personality. It's possible to be both incredibly attracted to a woman yet still hate her (lots of attraction, no affection) and also to be completely turned off and yet still feel affection for a woman (no attraction, lots of affection).

    I think for any romantic relationship to happen we need to feel at least some of both feelings. Looks matter a lot, but personality can still be a deal breaker. I think the average woman is capable of inciting both feelings to some extent.

    • I understand, and that makes sense. I do get a lot of compliments on my appearance from men, but the ones that really know me usually give more compliments on my personality. I think that I can offer both to a man, I just feel that my personality is where I really shine. And I'd hate to think that a guy wouldn't appreciate that about me to the fullest. Or that maybe they only feel I have a good personality BECAUSE I'm physically attractive. Which means nothing to me. It makes me feel objectified

    • We're fully capable of appreciating both. Even if you didn't have your good looks we still would appreciate your personality but we possibly wouldn't be as inclined to seek a romantic relationship.

      Someone who has both in spades is a rare find. You must be quite a catch.

    • Well I'm very happy to hear that you guys can appreciate both. That makes me feel better. And as for being a catch I suppose that's different for everyone and you'd have to make your own decision. I feel like I have a lot to offer a good man though.

  • A lot of the guys I know who are good looking/popular with the ladies aren't with stunningly hot women, they're with people they have common interests with. So no looks doesn't make a relationship, but it helps in meeting people.

    Personally, if there's physical attraction I am interested and I have been attracted to all sorts of women. Tall short older fatter thinner black white you name it. However, every girl I know who is single has pretty steep criteria for a man, both physically and financially.

    So for me it's the opposite; the guys I know, regardless of their station in life, aren't very hung up on looks and are looking for someone who is "compatible" whereas the women will only "date" a man who meets their standards.

    And to further confuse things, they will have sex with men but they won't date them as they aren't "relationship material."

    The whole thing is upside down and backwards if you ask me.

    Also, I'm sure I'll get tons of argumentative posts about this but I'm not BSing here.

  • Im sorry to say but looks are a quite big factor, I could never hook up with a ugly girl, just the idea even if she has a wonderful personality I still cant...luckily <60% of the girls my age aren't ugly in my eyes

    • Well I'm not talking so much in the context of whether you'd want to hook up with an ugly girl or not. I certainly don't want to hook up with an ugly guy. What I was getting at was more when you find a hot girl, but she has a sh*tty personality, do you still like her anyway just because she's hot. You'd still pursue her and date her if you could simply because she's gorgeous?

    • Yeah I would but I wouldn't go so far as actually having her as a girlfriend

  • no, for me the biggest factor is character and personality. I'm not going to date a girl just because she is the nicest rack I have seen, but because I feel a connection and a chemistry and we share similar goals and interests. when I date I am not looking for arm candy, I'm looking for a partner and companion.

  • Girls care more about other girls' looks than guys do.

  • If I'm just going to have sex with them and never talk to them, looks. If we're only going to be friends, personality. If we're going to be fwb, they I want good looks and at minimum bearable personality.

  • No Girls don't just have to be Attractive. in appearance just have Attractive qualities... attraction just means other person is curious about u? if its cause of your looks cool, but you got to show case the things he will find interesting or what he would like to learn about u?

    Girls got to have a good face before a good body I don't want talk or be hanging out with her and look at her face and have doubts... after that its just your personality. Boob, ass,glasses, tall short all extras that seal it quicker.

  • The simplest way I can put it is Looks are what get our attention, personality is what keeps us.

    Now obviously that is a simplification. When it comes to simple hook ups, then yeah what you said is true. When it comes to dating, then no it`s not. When it comes to dating, other than the obvious, I`m going to want someone who I will enjoy spending time with, and if she`s got no substance to her personality, then she`ll be really boring. All this being said, she still needs to have some looks, cause to date someone, I still need to be attracted to her.

  • Looks aren't even close to the biggest factor. Never should be :|

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