Why do I always get overlooked?

I get called beautiful all the time, I have a lot of friends both male and female so my personality obviously doesn't suck, so why have I never been asked out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some things to consider:

    > Where do you go and who are you looking for? You probably won't find Venice Beach weightlifters at the local Barnes & Noble in the Philosophy section.

    > Do you expose yourself, or are you cocooned? Meaning, when you're out with your friends, are you in the middle of a big group that would probably look unapproachable to a guy, or do you wander from the herd to give guys a chance to talk to you without having to go through the bodyguards first? (Not saying that they really are guards, but that's how guys see it.)

    > Do you give guys any cues that you're interested? When you see a guy you like, do you glance over a few times (making sure he catches you looking)? Do you flash him a coy smile, brush your hair back over your ears, that kind of thing? Most guys, if they don't think you're showing any signs of interest, won't approach you. We're good enough at getting turned down by people who did show (what we thought were) signs of interest; we don't need more practice with people who aren't showing signs!

    > Do you ask any guys out? If you really want to make an impression on him, make the first move. He'll remember your name and face like you were his first kiss, not to mention that he'll walk around for the rest of the night with his chest puffed out a little further and a little more swagger in his step! This also ties into the type of guy you're looking for. Assuming that you truly are beautiful, most guys assume that you're constantly hit on and therefore, can take your pick of the boys (prompting that whole "what would she ever see in me?" line of thought). Also, it means the players are going to be hitting on you constantly, pushing the others out of the picture.

    > How do you dress, based on where you hang out? If you're going to the local country bar while wearing designer dresses and drinking Rémy Martin congac, the people there will probably assume that you're some high-maintenance trust fund baby and won't bother with you.

    Remember that your friends know you. They know what you're like once you get to know someone, so although they're helpful, they may not be a good gauge regarding how approachable you are. My friends know I'd do anything for them and am one of the most helpful, nicest guys on Earth, but to look at me, you'd think I'm the kind of guy who steals candy from babies and kicks puppies for fun.

    Just some thoughts...

    • usually I do go out in a group but will break away from them to buy a drink or something like that.

      Yes I do show signs of interest I have been approached before just never actually asked out.

      I have asked a boy out but it was in primary school lol.

      If I go to my local usually it's jeans and a nice top unless I'm going out after the pub then it is a short dress or short skirt and nice top (not too slutty)

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Do you put yourself out there often enough? Meaning do you hang out with people you don't know, go to parties with your friends that some of the people there don't know you. Its not uncommon to never get asked out if you never put yourself out there.

    If that is not your problem it may be the way you present yourself when you first meet someone. If you are beautiful but a man finds you intimidating, or very strong minded he may shy away from you. I quote from my best friend "I like the guy, he's funny and he's helpful when I need it, but he is an ass about it, I will never invite him to a party of mine" You can be awesome in every dimension but one. Having a single Horrible trait can throw all the good stuff you have going for you out the window and into the shredder. You may be a perfect 10 in looks and intellect completely emotionally stable perfect in every way but one.

    Ask all your friends one at a time. "Whats one thing you don't like about me and be honest."

    If there is a personality quirk only those who know you best will be able to tell you. Tho this is dependent on if your friends trust you enough to give you an honest answer, if you typically hold stuff against them they will lie to you.

    Those are my 2 cents.

    And if its not either of those 2 then you are just exceptionally unlucky.

    • i could probably put myself out there more, thanks for the advice :)

  • Cause perhaps they are afraid of being rejected by you? If you say you're beautiful then this is the most likely reason why you haven't been asked out yet but I'll go first then "Wanna go out with me?"

  • Are you approachable?

    • i get told I am personable and very likeable so yes :)

    • Then you must find a way to stand out.

      Wall flowers are only that because their not in a vase in the middle of the room.

    • (their = they're)* correction

  • Try flirting more


What Girls Said 3

  • You're not beautiful?

    You look unapproachable?

    Having friends doesn't equal a non sucky personality.

    • ya know when people post stuff on here they're looking for advice not a bunch of insults, it's fine for you to say this sort of stuff but maybe if you actually gave some advice it'd be a little more helpful and less bitchy

    • Show All
    • If you want advice ask how can I stop being overlooked.

      Why just asks for reasons.

      Looking approachable is easy: smile, eye contact, open body language.

    • Thank you... :)

  • Girls aren't checklists. You can't say "I fit all the criteria why am I not dating?"

    It could be that you haven't met a guy who clicked with you yet. It could be that you're not approachable enough. It could be that you've had bad luck and guys you encountered were intimidated by your good lucks.

    You should be fine though if you are describing yourself accurately :)

    Just try meeting new people, and being as approachable as possible.

    Extreme case : YOU ask the guy out. No one ever died from it.

  • Who cares? Ask someone out.


Recommended myTakes