Why can't I depend on others?
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What Girls Said 1
You need to figure out why you feel weak when someone helps you, or why you have the need to feel totally strong all the time. Go back to your childhood and figure out if the circumstances were hard for you or your parents. Lots of times, kids in difficult situations are forced to convince themselves that they must be perfectly strong all the time in order to deal with problems. Because as a child, they have no choice but to put up with whatever is going on.
Just think about how being totally responsible all the time isn't realistic or healthy. And that if people weren't meant to help each other, there would only need to be one human being on the planet at a time. With over 6 billion of us, it looks like there's a lot of help that needs to be given and received. Also, think about how if you don't let anyone help you, you're basically being a control freak. Because you have to do everything yourself. That's going to increase your anxiety.
The way you need to get over this is by slowly letting other people help you do small thing. Think of the things that are the least scary for you to get help with. Make a list of things that are not scary all the way to super scary. Like on a scale of 1-10, it sounds like your friend carrying your soda in the rain was like an 8? Anyways, rate how much it upsets you for someone to help you in various situations. Then start out with the easiest ones. Like maybe having someone get you a glass of water is a 1. The more you can make yourself let people help you will little things, the easier it will get. Then you can move on to the harder stuff and let people do more nice things for you.
Another thing that might help is repaying kindness. Like if a friend wants to do something nice for you, let them do it, but then do something nice for them in return. It's best if it's a similar thing, that way you can know that it's about even. So if a friend buys you lunch one day, you can do it the next day and stuff like that.
Hope that helps. Just realize that people get over phobias and issues like this every day. You're not alone and you CAN get better. It's great that you even recognize this about yourself and want to change.1
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