He said a bug bit him on the neck, but it looked like a hickey??

should I belie him or not?

I didn't see not bump from the actual bite he has dark skin so it did look lite when I was looking and it he didn't try to hide it. the night before he went out to the club. the day before that when I got home I noticed some one had showed recently and he got home after three I got home at 5?

i can't eat thinking about it we have kids and a home together but I am really thinking of moving out he can keep the house I can't afford it alone anyway but I don't want to be played as the fool. last year around the same time I caught him with a other phone and he talking to other females from his work. and hooked up with one and visited a other at her other job. I should of just left then ... tell me you are thoughts please help !
well it has been a month I the hihcky situation keeps popping up in my head, like I said the night before he went out with his boy his boy text him that he got home safely @ 1:45 and my fience didn't get hm till 45 min after ? he said he was at his friends acreoss the street which I don't belive. I have been looking into places to rent this is the first time in 8 years I really feel like moving forward. I have been nothing but failthful and good to him and I don't want to live like this
ugh ! well last night I brought my self to tell him I didn't want to be with him no more I felt like weight was lifted off my chest. I tried talking to him but he just shut down and keept saying he was sticking with his story. so I am sticking with my gut feeling and that was that he is cheating and sneeking around. so for the first time in eight years I broke up with him he has nothing to say just got out of bed and went to sleep on the couch I left at that it is what it is !

I decided not to leave the house since the kids are comfertable there already. and I found a room mate to cover his share of the bills. so it worked out good ... I wish I did this sooner years sooner... it dusgusts me how he is willing to give up every thing for a woman who can and will never compare to me. But I am OK now I will work on making my self and kids happy !


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm gonna give you my thoughts.. I only know your side of the story. So here it goes. I was married for several years with kids, house and whole nine yards. While I was busy raising kids and making a home my dear husband was busy making a career and cheating behind my back. I justified his distance and lack of affection to keep my self from walking out of the marriage. I did not listen to my mind because it was too hurtful. 2 years ago I found hard proof of his infidelity. I no longer could hide from the reality and truth. As for me cheating is the end of the line. There is no forgiving and going back. However, it has taken me 2 years of planning to get myself in a position to break free. I had to sort out my head and finances.

    It appears you too are trying to hide from the truth. It is natural because you are deeply invested in your relationship. It you and only you who can decide whether it is worth salvaging. Understand this though even if you decided to stay in it, the relationship will never be the same. It may take a different form. One of dependency. Take your time and get some help and whatever you decide make sure it is in your terms.

    Lastly as means of desperation, he may try to blame you for his actions. Do NOT fall for that ploy. In no way you are not responsible for his lack of moral compass. He has made his choices all on his own.

    • Good for u.

      There is a saying that helped me a great deal. It goes something like this. "You have to give up the life you planned and find the life that is waiting for u."

    • Show All
    • thank you !

    • Thank you for BA. I feel for you as I was and still am to a point. Emotionally no, but kids and finances haunt me.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's a hickey.

    I mean, what are the odds? Does this guy work in the forest as a park ranger? Or take frequent trips to parks for BBQ? You should "grill" him a bit. NO PUN INTENDED X-D but be very...sneaky...about it. Ask him in indirect ways that will get him to give you the answers he wouldn't give you if you asked directly and defensively. So basically pass it off like you trust him, smile. Then after awhile, tell him you are concerned about his bug bite.

    If you need an example, this is a situation in which some kid grabbed a coke out of my cooler and went to the bathroom and came out with no soda in his hand. He had hid it in his backpack and was trying to walk off after trying to steal it. Here is how I got him to admit his guilt

    "You can pay for that soda at the counter"

    -I don't have a soda, what are you talking about

    "The one you had when you went to the bathroom"

    -I didn't take one to the bathroom

    "Why are you trying to steal from here?"

    -I'm not stealing, I don't know what you are talking about

    "Okay so you didn't steal, I believe you, but from which section did you grab the soda from so I can restock another"

    -It was this column

    "So you did take a soda"


    "So where is it"

    -In my backpack

    Good luck

  • I think you need a good couples counselor and right away. You two need to talk in a place where things stay fair and calm. Just get him to go with you and then lay it all out.

    Good luck!


What Girls Said 3

  • Leave him, do you have friends or family living nearby so you can stay with them until you get your feet on the ground? I can't stand shady people, and he's being shady. Especially if he's hooked up with a girl while he was still with you. There's someone out there better for you, trust me :)

  • What kind of bug bites hard enough to leave something that looks like a hicky?!

    Was it even a mosquito time of year? Either way, that's a bad lie. At first I thought maybe you were reading too much into things and being paranoid. But then I read more. If he already has a history of being shady..

    He went as far as having another phone, he's probably gotten better at hiding his dirt in the past year since that happened.

    I didn't quite understand the part about someone showering right before..? Did you mean someone had showered and it you're suspicious that it wasn't him or something?

    I am in NO WAY telling you that you should leave you husband over this. My opinion is that he is cheating on you. But I don't know the history of your relationship. This may be something that can be fixed just like it may be the last straw. So please don't take this as me saying leave him.

  • does he scratch it? or put anti itch/bug ointment on it? if not, I would say it probably is a hicky


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