Talking about her, looking at her has started to hurt. What should I do from here?

I've loved a girl for about one and a half years. She's the most perfect person... she likes me as a friend. The problem is, I love her so much I've contented myself with a supporting role,. So I'm fine with just being friends. Making her happy is my only objective. I'm even trying to get cool guys to be interested in her, because I've convinced myself I'm going to flunk any future life together. (I make money online... even walking around with hundreds of self-made dollars in my pockets, I can't convince myself that I can provide for her.) Talking about her, looking at her has started to hurt. A lot. What to do? How to detach myself? Help D:


Most Helpful Guy

  • No self respecting man would ever help a woman he loved find another man. You need to learn to love and respect yourself first.

    1. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you are. Do this every day.

    2. Don't change your opinion about something, just because she has a different opinion. Women is that as a sign of weakness, and it is.

    3. You know that voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough? Pretend it is Mickey Mouse with that high pitched voice of his. Its hard to be intimidated by Mickey Mouse.

    4. Don't put any woman on a pedestal. If you place this woman's value as higher than your own, then she will to. Women want men that are at least there equal.

    5. Write down all the things you don't like about yourself, then write down how to fix all those things. For example if you don't like they way you look, you might start working out.

    6. Read up on different body language techniques. Example, make sure your back is always straight and not hunched over like a victim.

    7. Practice making eye contact with everyone. Alpha males make eye contact. Weak men avoid it. If you make eye contact with a girl and then dart your eyes away, she has just lost all respect for you.

    8. Work on clothing style. Getting new clothes that compliment your body type and are in style can make you feel more confident, and you need more confidence.

    9. Make yourself less available to this girl. Right now your whole world revolves around her and she knows it. Don't just stay home. Go out and experience life. When you are finally around her, you will have something to talk about. This also lets her know she is no longer your priority in life.

    10. Go on dates with other girls. Once she realizes you are not her little toy anymore she will become jealous. It doesn't matter she likes you that way or not, she WILL, be jealous. You have belonged to her for so long, and now she is being replaced. That is going to hurt her, and knock her right of that pedestal, she has been on for so long.

    • Even if you like the way you look, work out. Endorphins are awesome.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are very, very young to be thinking about supporting a woman financially. And very, very young to be so completely devoted to a single girl. Bluntly, you have no idea of she is worth all of this excessive energy yet because you haven't seen what she is like in a relationship. She might be a nightmare. In fact, if she is able to take such an amazingly devoted person for granted, she probably IS a nightmare.

    Usually in these types of situations, the girl KNOWS that you like her. And she hasn't made a move on purpose.

    If she really IS worth the risk, tell her "I'll be going to see the _____ movie that I have been looking forward to seeing. Come with me, it'll be a lot of fun."

    It is a non-committal opening to a relationship with you because she could just be going as friends. Then try to engage with her in a deep, meaningful way that helps her see past all of the petty "if I am dating him then this is my social worth" bullsh*t, and help her realize that she really likes hanging out with you as you are. Try not to be too excited. The further up you put her on a pedestal, the further you put her from you. If she acts bored, don't try to over compensate, by pleasing her. Tell her, flat out, "I'm sorry, but I only spend time with people that treat me with respect." She will feel sorry for her horrible behavior and she will try to genuinely take you as you are. You are actually better off if you DO have to say this, because it will make her much more receptive to imagining a relationship with you. Right now she has tooo much power in your relationship, and until that power relationship has shifted, you will have trouble.

    All of this is a lot of work though, and, honestly, you deserve better. If I were you, I would date another girl. Someone that is ripping at the seams to be with you.

    • Having the attitude you have right now, when you are thirty will get you an amazing girl. But when you are so young, it only gets you walked all over. Be very, very selective about the people you give this kind of power to.

  • yeah, I think telling her would be hard, but is she totally oblivious that you like her? try moving it up a step and just flirt a little more, try to cut away just a little bit from being her friend.


What Guys Said 2

  • tell her how you feel, then if she denies you, don't talk to her for a week or so , until she comes crawling back to you. maybe not having you there all the time will make her realize she needs you.

    also what do you do to make money online ? lol

    • We're just friends, so... hm. She's NOT going to come crawling back, seeing as I'm only helping from afar.

      But to answer your question:

      Step 1: Sign up on

      Step 2: Make a popular website

      Step 3: Put exclusive content under a content unlocker

      Step 4: ?

      Step 5: Profit.

      You're welcome ^_^

    • is that like adsense? what's your site I'd be interested to check it out

    • Friend me and give me your email and I would gladly walk you through setting up your own site for massive profit

  • You have to cut all contact, you are obviously too wrapped up in her to do anything else. Tell her how you feel, and if she rejects you, never talk to her again. It sucks but it is the best thing for you, and probably for her as well.

    • You're probably right. Telling her will be difficult... but never talking again is, I believe, I bit drastic. I'll see about how to tell her... :P

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