So this is what he did, What should I do

last year, met this guy, basically he was just trying to get over his past girlfriend, however I slept with him, did what he wanted, went out and bought expensive lingerie thinking this is the guy, very stupid I know, I gave it to him and he just started watching tv right after, I even had sex without a condom with him and had to pay for birth control, afterwards he told everyone he knew, we hadnt dated and then he calls more than a few months later to see if he can try to have a relationship with me. I broke it off and felt lost. I left heart broken, speechless and not understanding why this would happen to me. I wonder why sometimes it had to happen to me, I feel ugly already and never have had a real boyfriend before well I've been a lone for quite a while, more than a year and I do cry sometimes without warning when I wake or sleep and then I stop when I go to school or work or with friends. so I feel sick inside but every tells me to move on that there's a better guy out there for you, but why do I feel so hopeless? I don't think guys would be likely to go out with me because I can barely smile


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel your have felt loney for a long period of time and feel depressive, I too am in that state right now, but I know in my heart that I need to move past it soon or it could end up destroying me.If and I mean If you have any good friends what so ever, then hang with them, tell them all your problems and have them for a shoulder to cry on.i honestly don't think the guy is making you feel this way, its not helping to the overall depression but its not the main source.I think to get over this we need to really just make more time for ourselves, and when or if you feel ready you can get out there and go "boy shopping", or if not then he will come to you, it will take time but time is all we really have.I really wish you the best of luck, and if ud'e like you can notebook me and update me, if you found an answer to it id'e like to know, vice strong and move on =)! and beside I live in canada lol, so I bet I won't know you!


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What Guys Said 2

  • OK this is going to be tough, but I'm going to be straight with you so pay attention because this doesn't get told often enough and is listened to even less often ! You disrespected yourself in the worst way. HOW, you might ask? You sacrificed your own body to someone who was not worthy of it, and even worse, it was to someone who had not even tried to earn the privilege of that gift ! __ To be worthy of owning your body someone has to prove they are worthy by first declaring to the whole world it is the most valuable thing on earth. Traditionally a GENTLEMAN does this by asking your Father for his permission to prove he will treat you like a lady for the rest of his life, then after proving this to the satisfaction of the family and friends he ask you to marry him and be his beloved wife for the rest of his life ! Sadly today so many have forgotten how valuable this GOD GIVEN Tradition is, and like common dogs they hook-up on the urge of the weakest of emotions. This blatant disregard for Honour and Virtue destroys the Esteem and Spirit leaving an unfillable void that is the reason for the destruction of 70% of all first marriages, 80% of second marriages and so on. Because those who stoop so low as to live as dogs never find the TRUE VALUE of the SACRED COVENANT of MARRIAGE !

    __ You will only ever regain a portion of your ESTEEM, unless you agree with GOD that He was right in the first place, and that indeed this type of action does destroy a person from the inside out. It's funny how if I had just listened to GOD in the first place I could have spared myself a lifetime of pain and low self esteem if I would have just Honoured Gods LAW to begin with, a Law He gave me in LOVE; because the only LAWS GOD ever gave were to protect us from hurting ourself and others and disrespecting Him and His love that gave the Law in the first place.

    __ I hope that you will read this till you get it, because I wish someone would have told me way back when, why FORNICATION IS A SIN !

  • hey if a guy don't like you for you then you shouldnt be with him anyways take that form me. I'm a sweetheart to girls and will do anything to make them happpy and smile. so if you need that talk to me and ill will make you feel better.



What Girls Said 2

  • I found myself in a similar situation. My ex was getting over his ex and so was I. We were sleeping together without even being "official." I would buy lingerie and get all excited, but he would just respond to me like, "that's expensive. Why did you spend your money on that?" It was kind of weird because a guy that's not turned on by lingerie? And, dude, I'm 24, 5'4 and 130 lbs. So it's not like I'm a cow or anything.

    Anyway, you feel so hopeless because you picked a "fixer - upper." It happens to the best of us. You were attracted to him, so you fell for him. Something about him being sort of a dick got to you. I know the one thing about my ex was that he was exciting in bed.and was a total jerk in life. But, I was blind to it. My ex needed time to get himself together, and by starting up with me he didn't get to do that.and it drug me down to his level. I understand that you really love him. You can't help who you love. But, we both also need to understand that just because we love someone doesn't mean they're going to turn their lives around and start being caring people.

    Anyway, I digress, you probably feel so hopeless because you KNOW that's not how you would normally act in a caring relationship. In a typical relationship in our minds we'd be treated just as well as we're treating someone else. But that wasn't the case --- and you knew it. That's why you feel hopeless; because inside you feel that you could've saved yourself from this heartbreak early on, but chose not to for one reason or another (I'm not judging. I was/am in the same situation).

    I commend you for breaking it off with him. That had to be terrible. But know, that you only feel hopeless because you yourself know that you deserve better, and you're probably a little embarassed of yourself for having put up with him acting like that. Not that he's a bad person, but he wasn't acting his best.

    Don't be TOO hard on yourself. I feel the same way about my current situation. What guy would want to hang out with me when I'm moping around being sad about a loser? Probably no one, but that's part of the grieving process, and that's how we learn.

    Keep me updated with how you're doing! Since I'm feeling the same way, I'd love any advice on coping. I hope this provides you with a little more self-confidence. Above all, you tried loving someone that wasn't ready to be loved. It stinks.

  • oh wow! listen to this you are a treasure and special treasure and you are worth so much more than that. don't be a target to a guy and feed him what he wants. when a guy asks out a girl they realize they had to work to just get through that faze. don't spoon feed a guy becuz they won't feel like they had to work for soemthing that was a treasure like yourself. when a guy asks you out you have to kind of work to earn your love. you are a treasure not a target and never let any guy take advantage of that. don't lose hope becuz there is a soul mate for everyone out there you just haven't found him yet. go out there and realize you are a beautiful treasure that God made and that guys will love you no matter what for ur personality. guys who have to play hard to get with a girl is more valuable to them and more of a treasure! so be a treasure not a target k. love always,


    • I'm impressed with such Wisdom, tell your Dad or Grandpa I said great job Sir !!!