It always turns into some comparison and that annoys me. Seriously need advice, have any?

So my boyfriend that I live with will be 31 this month, which isn't even that old (to me) but for some reason he's in a lot of pain all of the time. His hand knuckles will swell up (especially bad in the morning or in cold weather), one of his knees swells really bad, he hurt his back at work and its been hurting him since, and his feet really hurt him. I don't think they are related, but I end up rubbing them out daily sometimes multiple times a day so he can be able to close his hands and walk without his feet hurting. We bought him some shoe insoles and they help somewhat.

My problem is that he's not the only one with pain. I have very bad arthritis in my spine and other things from sports I used to do and car accidents. Its not even worth him massaging me with his hurt hands because it doesn't do anything for me, but the few times I tell him I don't feel like rubbing today he begs me even though I hate it, and I know he truly IS in pain so it breaks my heart to make him stay like that, knowing the only thing that can even make him feel somewhat better is me, we can't really afford to go to any doctors right now either. Also, I don't talk about my pain, for a few reasons, and I don't know if he just assumes I don't have it because of that, or what... but the few times I do say something like, "My back is really bad today" he gets this way and makes remarks like, "Welcome to the club" or says other things nonchalantly implying his pain is a lot worse and he knows all about how it feels to be in pain and blah.. you get it... well it always turns into some comparison and that annoys me. I try to tell him these things but I guess it doesn't go through.

Anyway, I need advice:

- Do you know of any home remedies I could do for him for his joint pain or feet pain?

- Can you think of anything that I could say to explain to him that the few times I tell him no, I just don't want to and I don't want an attitude, or to be begged, or to any guilt trips because I already feel awful enough about it.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 1

  • best advice the doc.


Recommended myTakes