Guys, have you ever loved a girl? with all your heart , as a person?

how did you meet her?

did you necessarily have to date her to realize she's something more for the long term you don't mind spending ur life with?

what did you feel about her, what did you see in her that made you think of her all the time?

how long of being her friend and getting to know, hanging out with her did it take you to realize you may love her?

i met this guy in classes in college, and I think that attraction was so intense, and the friendship and mental connection became so strong that we both felt something mutual. I think of him day and night and have even imagined marrying him...i think he may have loved me but never made it official or told me or asked me out...i think its because of our religion differences...but is it true? can a guy love a girl and go on thinking of her, and can he be impacted so much by her that he may love her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am in that situation right now. I have never dated this girl we are not in a relationship. I met her at work. We worked together for 4 months. Then three years later or not talking I got in contact with her. We email each other now and then went on one date before she had to go back to college. I don't know what it is I have never felt this way about a girl. Although I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Me wanting her is not physical. I think about her everyday, and I have the biggest smile on my face. I want her for life, she is the girl I want to marry. She is smart, has a sense of safistication and class about her, well spoken, culture, and we have the same interestes, even the same views on how to raise kids. I mean I have had crushes before and they have gone away this is more then a crush it has stuck. If I were lucky enough to call her mine, she won't have to worry about me looking else where to me she's perfect, the bad part is she doesn't know about it. Let me ask you would you want someone to tell you this if they felt this way about you? Granted we are friends but not good friends. At least I"m not in the total friend zonel.

    • I would die of happiness if the guy I like told me this!! I feel your pain. its been a few years and I feel crazy about this guy. I feel like we belong together. but were not close and we don't talk we just show our feelings through eyes and stuff...i don't know what to do? he won't even call me or contact me or anything...should i? I have in the past and he replies and is nice and stuff but I don't know how he really feels about me =[

    • Show All
    • This is interesting! what do you mean by 'detached interest' ? because I feel like I wanna forget him and move on at times and try not to think of him and keep myself busy, I've even ignored him in person when he tried to say hi so I wouldn't be reminded of anything, and he ignored me too but its like in person we always end up seeing each other running into one another and sparks still fly and he's nice and friendly and stares and then there are periods where he ignores and I ignore...

    • I'm 30 and I'd love for the guy I love to say he loves me or that he is falling for me...or something often. I'm starting to lose interest and my love for him because I'm starting to think he has lost his feelings for me. There is a happy medium between telling someone your heart and holding back all feelings. I think saying a little and seeing if the person is receptive is a good plan. At least you'll know.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I really loved twice with all my heart: first time from my 14 till my 18, a girl in my class. It wasn't mutual, but I didn't even think about trying to date another one (stupid me!). She was everything: kind, intelligent, beautiful. When we meet now (once a year), there is a feeling of caring tenderness, more than there was then, no love.

    Both atheists.

    Second time I was 20, at University. She too. We were acquaintances (2 or 3 months hanging out), then friends, 1 week) Then we thought we knew "it". I asked for a weekend to think it over and.. and we started dating. A few months later we were sure we loved each other. She was and remained everything: kind, intelligent, witty, romantic, nice to look at.

    We are still happily married, we're still in love. Both atheists.

    • Awwww that is very romantic =)

  • Yes, I've loved a girl. More than just for her physically. She is a very beautiful, caring person.

    Took 6 mo. for me to realize it (as a friend). By then it was too late, caught in the "LJBF" zone.

    Like JustMe2008, sore subject. :-(

    • Whats LJBF?

      do you think the guy I like feels that way about me? because we never made anything official or confessed but I can feel it he loves me too

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    • The first page had an article which explained why true JWs shouldn't date outside their denomination.

    • Thanks you guys=) I think it is the religion! he is religious, more than I am. you're right it is a barrier my parents would be upset too if I told them we were together...ugh religion sucks. But I truly do love him and I forgot about the barrier when liking him....i just wanted to live in the moment....he never even asked me out or gave me a chance, its like he knew he'd be screwd over if he got into a relationship with me...

  • yeah I'm starting to think that the feeling you describe isn't love but a great bond of friendship... when you throw love into your equation above it usually focks thing up.

  • Yup I have. Just don't remind me.

    • Why? don't you still love her?

    • Well I actually do and that's the problem. She doesn't feel that way anymore. You don't wanna hear my crazy stories. Trust me. lol.

  • ehhh the marrying thing is a bit farfetched...remember the divorce rate is high for a reason. Everyone needs time to think things through. Acting on sporadic thoughts might not be so good. But hey, if the compatibility is there...go for it. just take it sllllllowwwwwwwwwwwww.

  • Nope, I've never felt really strongly about girls I have had relationships with. Hell, I'm usually looking for different girls WHILE I'm dating someone already.

    • At least this is an honest answer... and a smart person would realize the first step in correcting a problem is realizing there is a problem and what that problem is. good answer!

    • Ugh!!! what a tool! the only reason you're doing this is because you haven't ever been in love. just wait til you get your heart broken for the first time. you're in for a big wake up call

    • I think amysparkles is a drama queen. I'm not looking to get married or anything until I'm at least 28...29 or 30 would be ideal for me. Then ill be more serious about relationships.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm obviously not a guy but I'm madly in love with this guy in one of my classes.. I'm popular and he's a drama geek I never thought he was attractive until I saw how smart and funny and unbelievably kind he is! When I would talk he always stared right into my eyes and made me feel like the most important person in the world! I soon found myself thinking about him constantly not being able to sleep on weeknights when I knew I'd see him the next day, being away from him was painful and sometimes I just get this numb feeling because nothing matters when he's not around. Being near him is the highlght of my day and when I see him smile my breathing gets short and my heart races he is like a personal high just seeing him makes my day! But he is shy and has never had a gf.. He's also really into his school work and religion as well as football so when I told him I liked him he was flattered but I guess he just has no time for a girl. He said he doesn't date.. I was crushed I've never been rejected before and I have never felt this strongly about anyone! We don't talk outside of class so I can't get closer to him I'm way to nervous to talk to him but sometimes I wish I could just tell him how much I really do love him! I find that when I think about it I'm so passionate about him that I cry I have never been so heart broken in my life but I don't want him to feel guilty or think I'm pathetic so I'll never tell him how much I care! All I want is for him to be happy even if I suffer honnestly he has given me so much already! Now I can say I have felt true love and yes it's the most amazing thing I have ever felt even if the feelings not mutual!

    • Awwwww I feel exactly the same, I wanna tell my guy I love him, but I'm afraid of rejection, and becoming emotionally depressed, because I have a huge feeling he's gonna tell me he can't date out of his religion, or he's not looking for a relationship right now, and its gonna make my heart shatter. But given that we both haven't revealed anything yet, and we give each other the eyes of heaven, and are shy and fall weak for each other, I know if I confront it he will deny everything =[

    • Awe I know how you feel, somedays it feels like he is really into me and other days he acts like I don't exist! I told my guy that I liked him but his religion and school work get in the way! It's really upsetting because I do love him and can't have him but that makes me fight even harder!