Guys and girls, what are the NEGATIVES of being physically attractive?

We ALWAYS hear about the pros of being a good-looking person.

However, the flipside of this is very rarely brought up.

From personal experience (either yourself or someone you know), what are the NEGATIVES of being a physically attractive person?

What hurdles, hardships, mental / emotional / societal difficulties, occur with a person being good-looking?


Share your thoughts, please. Anonym is allowed.

I'll be awaiting responses. :)
Thanks for the feedback so far, everyone. Keep it coming. :)

Btw, can you please answer this question for me, please?

Thanks again. :)



Here is a question, related to this one, that you all may find interesting.

Have fun. :)

Question for all of you:

If you are one of the "good looking" people this question is talking about...



...would you WILLFULLY give up your "good looks" to escape the negatives of your current appearance?

Feel free to answer in a comment below your answer.

Thanks for your input, everyone. :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its harder to make guy friends, because they all want to date you and when you tell them that you just want to be friends a lot of them lose interest. Also its a lot easier to be harassed, I can't walk across my campus at night without guys making me feel super uncomfortable.

    Plus people get this idea that just because you are attractive it means that you couldn't possibly have any real problems or self esteem issues. People have told me that I'm attractive but I am still super self conscious.

    • I agree with this. I had a couple groups of guy friends in college but a lot of problems came along with that. I heard from one friend that some of my guy friends wanted to "bang" me and one guy friend who was friends with some of the guys I lived with even got scary physical sometimes like cornering me at parties and being really aggressive and I didn't know what to do because he was friends with all the guys I lived with so I didn't want to make things awkward for everyone.

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    • I'm not blaming guys for losing interest in the friendship after finding out I wouldn't date them, all I am saying is that it's hurtful to me too because it has happened with guys who I really valued as friends. No one's to blame. It's hurtful for both sides.

    • Understood, and we agree, mccollins.

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What Girls Said 43

  • Gawd, some of these answers just remind me of how much blatant sexism is on this site. Mostly from little boys who turned into bitter douchebags because they didn't get their way. Talk about NOT learning from experience and evolving from that experience.

    Nevermind that they seem to love to dictate what women's REAL struggles are. It's not too often I hear guys say ANYTHING about understanding where women are coming from and why they'd feel the way that they do. The usual response is something along the lines of "THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE IT BAD!" or "YEAH? WELL WE HAVE IT WORSE THAN YOU, SO STFU." It really gets old hearing this coming from a part of our society that still has more advantages than another part and really has no place to be dictating who feels what because they really have never experienced the same hardships. It's like a white person going up to a minority and downplaying their experiences and telling them that racism isn't still rampant in society and they need to just get over it.

    So if a women says her personal experience is x, y, z, in regard to men viewing their attractiveness, then who the eff are you to tell them that they're wrong? The small minds here scare me. Do everyone a favor and stay in your little cave and avoid contact with the general population until you evolve into a decent human being that can think outside of their "me" bubble. Kthx.

    • Your racial comment is backwards. The guys telling the girls to stop crying is like the underprivileged minority telling privileged white people to stop crying about their fake hardships. You flipped it around to make your argument stronger, when in fact looking at it the correct way more clearly expresses that guys have a point to call pretty woman out for not having real problems. Also, if you want to debate this, feel free to do so.

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    • Psst Candlewax, how much do you regret making this answer?

    • You are completely right. No need to defend yourself.

  • Part 2:

    When a man approaches you it are usually the guys that are very full of themselves, or players, that just want to get into your pants and claim you as a trophy. Men also make remarks over your beauty more often than you personality traits, even if they do know you for a longer time, which makes it seem like their first reason to be with/around you are your looks, which isn’t what you would like someone to be with you for (at least I don’t). Also, some remarks and some of the things that have been said to me were disrespectful and sexual and I didn’t care to hear that. It’s hard to develop a friendship with girls, but when you create a friendship with a guy (that has not been obnoxious over your looks) it always ends in him:

    1. Trying to coerce you into sex. It turns out that they liked you for your looks and became your friend with only one intention from the beginning: to get into your pants. If they realize this isn’t going to happen, they lose interest and the ‘friendship’ fades. This is painful because it means this person was leading you on and didn’t care much about what you had to say in the first place.

    2. Coming clean about a genuine crush. If the feelings aren’t mutual they usually insist to continue to stay my friend. However, things get awkward because despite their own will to stay in my life, this also often means they can’t move on or get over their crush. Eventually these friendships don’t stand or have a lot of ups and down; he disappearing for a while because it’s too difficult, but then trying to get back into my life because he feels a need to be around me. In some cases this has developed into the men becoming obsessive. In most cases the men what have a genuine crush keep their feelings hidden for a long time, and to you they’ve become a good and trust-worthy friend, therefore this can be very hard to deal with because you do care about this person, as it was/is your friend, so it hurts.

    Nothing of this works in friendships, so there are no realistic chances here either.

    In general the rule is that if I don’t take initiative and approach/engage in both friendships and relationships, than nothing will happen with either sex. To end this: very few people take you seriously when you complain about the disadvantages of being attractive. They often think you’re more stuck-up because of your complains or think that you want to highlight your own beauty. This means that you can’t share your frustrations/struggles with people and have to deal with it alone always and all the time.

    Sorry for it being so long!

  • --attractive men--

    -it will just be assumed that attractive men get a lot of p*ssy and have a super huge ego and think that they own all of the b*tches = the world

    a woman would think to herself that she would have to be an idiot to fall for you because you would just cheat on her, all you do is f*ck so you would not really make for a good relationship but at least we all know that if we need some d*ck you would be the safest guy to turn to and you would do it right, maybe you do not know what real love is but you don't care.


    -Ugly girls will start rumors about you and then try to add you on Facebook so they can look at your stuff and make up reasons to hate your pictures and interests even though you two have never once spoke ever and even if you weren't as attractive, you would still probably have nothing in common with that ugly girl and would never be friends anyway

    -For the physically attractive girls that are very comfortable with the way they look-

    they will show off their bodies and wear skimpy outfits, have a decent amount of friends, could be popular, and guys will only think they are sexy and just want to bang them. They take naked or half naked pictures of themselves and tag everyone in them on Facebook. Guys with low self esteem will hate these girls because they are reminded even more of how much beautiful sexy p*ssy they are not getting. People will think these girls are stuck up or have no brains

    -For the attractive girls who are not comfortable with the way they look-

    they tend to cover up more, wear sweaters and graphic tshirts all the time, keep to themselves to the point where it seems like they are hiding, maybe they have been sexually abused, they may have low self esteem or are still single and wondering what is wrong with them when its most likely they are single because they always seem to be hiding. They could just be shy and introverted anyway and are still virgins. They are actually quite nice and sweet the same way an average looking girl can be nice and sweet. Guys will be so intimidated by your beauty and mystery and will just assume that you already have a boyfriend and they will only smile at you but not come talk to you and you will feel lonely because of this.

    Ugly girls will look at you and then hate themselves even more because they also think that you are mysterious and can't figure out what negative thing they can say about you because you don't really put all of your business out there. So they will make up stuff like "she is so quite but I bet she has probably robbed a bank or is really crazy, maybe she has an std"

    • oh and by attractive men I mean the guys that look like models

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    • but all guys that judge a whole group of people negatively because you got rejected once are idiots

    • True about hiding I like my looks but don't like to show off

  • My answer is too big to put up in once... So part 1 of 2:

    There are always people noticing you and staring at you, this is tiresome and can be really annoying. Everyone’s always focused on what you do or don’t do, what you say or don’t say. People are always finding something about you, even people that don’t know you at all have an opinion about you or what you must be like. They create their own stories and personality traits around you. These can both be negative as well as positive and can work out for you or not. However, it’s annoying to deal with all these images of you that are created without any logic/evidence. People also think you must have had an easy life because you have an advantage in looking good. They just assume you already have everything; a care-free live, always getting your ways, no discrimination in your live, no rejections, an amazing social life, plenty of choice in guys. They don’t feel how they could be needed by you and think that they will be exchangeable easily, so they keep some distance an don’t strive to get involved with you on a deeper level. There’s also the false assumption that attractive people obtain success strictly by their looks and not through hard work/sacrifice/talent/intelligence.

    Women don’t really let you into their circle. They feel uncomfortable or threatened by you so they’re not open and inviting – they kind of shun you out. At times it seemed that women only accepted me because there were men around that were into me and that is usually the only case I’m tolerated in the group (once tolerated, I can become friends with a very few after a while, but most women do keep some distance). Women don’t trust you when you are around or talk to their partner, they think their man will fall for you and that you’ll steal him away from them when this isn’t on your mind at all and you’re just friends/making small talk/having a conversation about school for example. I’ve had women ‘forcing’ their men to not spend time with me by threatening to break up with them if they did. Also in general men do keep some distance when their partner is around, because they’re afraid for their partner becoming suspicious of their intentions. Women can get their jealousy get the better of them and therefore work against you.

    Many people think that attractive women are high maintenance/hard to get/already dating /snobby. This makes that men don’t approach you. Men expect that, because you’re beautiful, you must have set high standards for potential lovers as well – that they’ve to be extraordinary attractive to attract you. Men are intimidated by your beauty and won’t start a conversation. Also, I can imagine men not wanting other men to drool over their girlfriend, so this might also plays a role when they decide not to approach. They might feel there’ll be more competition to keep this girlfriend by their side and they’ve the idea that they’ll have to put more effort into the relationship.

  • its hard to find a guy that is actually interested in your personality. A lot of guys are just looking for sex and assume that because she's hot/sexy that she'll put out. I wish I could find a guy that doesn't try to get me in bed first and would instead ask me to just hang out and do something fun..

  • What others have said.

    I'm always getting hit on and most are just interested in banging me. I hate that. It's like they're not interested in getting to know ME. Hello! I AM a person thank you very much.

    • That may be true, but that's not all bad. It's the intent that's important. If the intent is to bang you as you put then they are being upfront with you and you can decide if you're interested. Some people like casual sex and want a little before they settle into very long term relationship.

      On the other hand, if their if they lead you to believe their intent is for a long term relationship to bang you, then that's a problem.

  • People overlook your personality, and you get the wrong attention. Guys don't go out with you for the right reasons, and they usually have sex at the back of their minds. And as you get filled with compliments, that can make strive for the better all the time. It can also make you vain and stuck up. A friend of mine is going down a bad path atm. She is super gorgeous, which makes her sleep around a lot. Her reputation is obviously at stake.

    • Being super attractive doesn't *make someone* do anything. Any other reason is BS.

    • True that, my wording didn't come out right. I meant that as a pretty girl you could get the wrong attention. And in my friends case, it lead her to sleep around a lot, because she didn't care. And by all means, this is just my experience with it. Didn't mean for it to be in general. :)

  • I read through a few answers and most of the big points have been covered. A relevant experience I had was when I found out a few guys were telling all of their friends that I hooked up with them. Completely untrue, as I haven't hooked up with anyone since going to college. It's so frustrating that some guys just want to add you to their list of conquests

  • I think a major one is they are judged before you even get to know them (positively & negatively). Also, people tend to only focus on that one area. They tend not to just see pass it because the person is standing in front of them and they just can't ignore it.

    • Many beautiful woman may have had bad experiences with men just wanting them for sex. So then they might close themselves off from many people who they think only want them for sex. This turns out to be everyone. Unfortunately, it seems that when they see a really attractive guy they think they are their prince charming and open up to them. Only them. And then they get played or burnt. If these girls would let guys get to know them and not blow them off, everyone would be happy.

  • I see a lot of people comparing good looking people to being like the popular/good looking ones on TV. That's sort of unrealistic. Some attractive people barely have friends, and people that hate/dislike them for no reason. Like some others have said attractive people have problems as well as the next human being. They are not invincible to having there down falls/ problems. Having problems is just a part of life, we all have them.

  • no guy really cares what you have to say. they don't really care about you or your life. they just want to be able to say theyre with you. it doesn't matter how many AP classes you're taking and passing with As...they just know that you're beautiful.

    • Yes. Because, as we all know, all guys are like this.




    • ...that I've ever met. evry single one that ever approached me. I'm just that one gorgeous nicaraguan girl to everybody lol but don't get me wrong...woult rade in my looks for the world

  • You get to see how many truly disappointing, frustrating pigs there are out there. Being attractive exposes you to a lot of them

  • The negative thing about being attractive is just having random people or even your friends hating you for no reason and sometimes the rumors that may arise but then that's what happens when people become jealous of you. Another thing that is sometimes hard to find a guy that you are really interested that fits to your standards personality wise and in looks.

  • I think one of the most common problems would be the 'does he actually like me, or just want me for my looks'.

    One of my best friends is literally one of the best looking people I've ever laid eyes on, and you can always see guys have their eye on her, and plenty approach her. And sometimes it's hard to determine if they like anything else about her - or are even interested in finding out if there's anything else to her.

    Lots of people are also surprised by her goofy side.

    Yes she's into fashion, and make-up and expensive things. She doesn't stray from that stereotype and because of it a lot of people assume that's all there is of her, which, couldn't be further from true.

    • "I think one of the most common problems would be the 'does he actually like me, or just want me for my looks'."

      Guys face this a lot with money. If a guy has a lot of money, he has to ask himself similar questions. There may be a lot of women here that will frown at this because they don't want to believe they are one of them, but women look for this and will make concessions within reason to get it.

    • Well said G Tom

  • becoming jaded to compliments, people only liking you for your looks

  • Gahh, EVERYONE has their share of issues that comes with living life. It's inevitable. The poster was asking a question and some are getting hot and bothered by certain responses. As if these women complain about the disadvantages of having a great looking body or gorgeous face all the time. Granted there's gonna be at least one chick or dude that will complain too much, there really is nothing wrong with someone answering this question honestly.

    It's like someone of you are trying to one up the other person in regards to who's life sucks more.

    It doesn't really matter because at the end of the day they're living with the issues they can't handle and you're living the issues you can't seem to bare yourself. There's no point in trying to minimize someone else's issues. Because at the moment when something unfortunate happens to you it's still not fun for you.

  • Thre's an article I read in Allure this month (December 2011), and it was allied "Hating the Beautiful." how here is a dark side to how attractive people are discriminated. So I'd say read that, but I'd say basically the negatives to being very attractive is that it's hard making girl friends because girls get jealous or don't want you because you're a threat to them, or could be a potential threat. Some people might see you as if you've always gotten things easy or handed to you, that you're automatically vain, egotistical, have an easy life, and deserve no sympathy from them. With guys they always assume I'm not single, and some are intimidated like I might be high maintenance. You have to be super aware of how people are But the thing is people will always be trying to find something wrong with you, no matter who you are. So don't judge a book by its cover.

  • -People thinking that you're not smart

    -Your personality being completely overlooked

    -People assuming you're stuck up or materialistic

    -Attracting men that only want you for your looks or your body and not being able to tell if they really like you for you.

    -Not attracting the good, nice guys because they assume you're dumb and superficial.

    -It's hard having guy friends because they'll have sex in the back of their minds the whole relationship.

    I'm sure those are a lot of the problems that anyone can have. I know I'm attractive, but I'm also pretty shy. People are always assuming that I'm stuck up when I'm really not. I like to read, write, listen to music, ect and I never attract guys that are into that. I always just attract the ones that want to hook up because the nice guys assume I'm a jerk because I'm quiet. It's a viscious cycle unfortunately...

  • Drake used it in the context of rich, but good lookin is the same really.

    " How are you supposed to find the one when anyone will come with you?"

    NOTHING is really expected out of good looking people either.. Sometimes they get hired for LOOKS alone because science has proven that good looking people are less intimidating :-/

    You get stereotyped stuck-up or arrogant even when you haven't said anything

    People make-up rumors that your some kind of slut even if you aren't

    Men/women are labeled intimidating in general...

  • you can't go for a walk down a street wihtout people yelling "hey baby how you doinn?" which drives me mad, I can't even go for a walk down my school halls wihtout getting my butt grabbed, yes it does really happen.

    sexual assault is a huge thing. guys see soemthing they like and take it.

    people hate you for absolutely no reason.

    people think you must be stupid because you've got beauty insteada brains. not true. I have an 84 average.

    you feel the constant need to dress up and be pretty because that's what people expect of you now.

    • You look like Lindsay Lohan!

      Except at a wayyy healthier weight.

      And that's not a bad thing! She's really pretty. . .

      I love red hair. <3

    • OMG. The guys who live near you need to show some respect. You wouldn't get that over here.

    • aww thank you guys :)

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What Guys Said 16

  • if women complain about being attractive, why don't they shave their heads , eat a ton of food and get fat?

    Solves your problem right there.

    Let me know if the world treats you better after that.

    • wises answer I have ever heard. Can I use this in the future?

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    • lol.. Truth is they KNOW that they pretty much rule the world..Yea parts of being gorgeous suck, but hell being hideous is WAYY more work. lol

    • +1 to lananoel

  • People either really like you or hate you. It's all stereotypical bs.

    They start hating on you before they even know your name...and those people have some jealousy issues they need to work out within themselves. Get to know the good looking person before you decide to assume crap about them or judge.

  • I think that being physically atractive can be negative because you are just that, physically attractive. When I say that I mean that since people are attracted to you by your looks, you will have to spend more time dating guys trying to sift out the ones that only want you for your body verses guys that like you for who you are. So you will just be attracting jerks and youl have to get past them before finding a guy that genuinely likes YOU.

  • If you think not being physically attractive is bad, average looking guys never get a look-in...not even once sometimes. And how do you think they feel? At least the more attractive ones have the chance to meet people (even if it's bad sometimes I might add lol!)

  • Girls tend to dislike their more attractive counterparts more than guys do. That being said, I noticed that when I display strong body language, guys, with the exception of my close friends, almost always tend to be less friendly to me. Not to sound conceited, but I am a good looking guy. So I definitely have experience discrimination. I didn't know how to handle it in the past, but now I make the effort the let those guys who I think are worth the time get to personally know me better

  • nothing...i get more attention...teachers are more leinient on me...i get all the p**** I is pretty much a lot of people wanna be my friend

  • You'll receive a back-clash.. And it might just not be to your liking.

  • as a man.. can't see any.

    as a woman? probably something like mccolins said

  • I don't think there are any, for guys anyways.

  • For guys it doesn't really matter. Women in clubs will approach me but quickly back off when they discover I have no "game".

  • everyone thinking you have it easily. Girl become intimidated, think that you're a player, and that you have a gf.

  • i think being an attractive woman is more influential than being an attractive man. I've been told many times through other people that so and so thought I was good looking, yet in my life I've never had a girl approach me first or felt that it influenced anything I did. Good looking girls get approached all the time. The only downside to looks that I know of is good looking girls get away with things they shouldn't. But not by me. I hold everyone to equal standard.

    • I think an attractive woman is more influential because of the high standards women place on beauty. Little girls look up to "pretty" woman she see them as role models. How many young females look up to average looking female political figures? Not many. The focus is usually placed on models, slutty barbie dolls, actresses with the ideal body shape...

    • The ridiculous high standard of beauty doesn't really exist with males. I believe we women hold ourselves and fellow female peers to this high standard...

    • So pretty much, girls being mean to pretty girls is the biggest issue?

      That might be true, but I do not really know. My ex is a shocking beautiful girl and she said she could not have girlfriends and most girls hated her. So I guess it turns out that, guys are good to pretty girls. Good guys deserve pretty girls. But pretty girls get hated from normal girls, so what ends up happening is that pretty girls don't trust anyone?

  • No negatives. Good looking people even get paid more. Get hired more for better jobs. Are perceived to be more intelligent than people who aren't. Attractive to the opposite gender(that's a pro riight?) Probably more pleasing to their partners and themselves too.

  • You hear this nonsense?

    "People only care about banging me"

    " No1 wants to get to Know me"

    seriously you have to be joking. I can't tell you how many times I took the chance of getting to "Know" the hot girl and ended up wasting my time. Because

    1. there wasn't much to "Know". She was boring and shallow.

    2. She was selfish and didn't give a sh*t about me, Used me and moved onto the next guy. because she's hot she can't get whomever she wanted.

    3. She didn't value anyone who was nice to her. If he wasn't the badboy or rich then your a nobody. Does not matter how long you knew her or what you did. Or even if you actually cared.

    It's a joke. If a woman is super attractive and popular then safe bet she's shallow as hell. Does not matter how much she thinks she "Loves" anyone. So why would any guy waste his time knowing that he most likely will get the sh*t end of the stick later on? Sure there might be a few really hot decent woman out there but the vast Majority ruined it for the rest of ya. Behind every "a**hole" is a guy who truly fell for a good looking woman and had his heart smashed. Or he is a poser fad type. Oh and the number I was looking for was about 15, after that I stopped bothering trying to get to "know" ya.

    • ^^ Another negative. Guys assume these types of things about you

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    • So based on this one experience, all women are like this? How small minded of you.

    • Oh have you met some sh*tty beautiful women. lol

  • For guys, I do not know in my case, but I imagine all the mindless casual sex probably leaves you without real love?

    I only know ONE GUY who could fit this category. I was hanging out with him at a bar with some friends. He left with a chick. I saw him hanging out with her later with his shirt off, cut like he man.

    The next day, he announced that she was her 301st girl he had sex with.

    He seemed like a very happy and cheerful guy.

    Hot GIrls have the problem that the guys they do not want are the only ones that hit on them. Apparently what it comes down to is that not hot enough guys hit on them!

    Where as for hot guys, the hottest girls hit on them as well. So guys just have to ignore the ugly chicks and then just take the hot chicks home.

    Girls what this sounds like to me is an analogy I know of. I am a musician. Some guys have the legitimate issue that they do not get enough gigs. Some other guys complain that they have too many gigs. They are on the road every day but get plenty of work.


    • So when creepy, sex craved pervs hit on an attractive girl, she should just see past that and accept it as a guy that she doesn't want and should give a chance?

      I don't think so. Why should women accept just any random guy hitting on her? You're basically saying women should lower their standards here. I get that there ARE women out there who are total snobs and if the guy isn't hot enough, then he's out, which I agree is bs. However, you'd be amazed at how many creeps women have to avoid

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    • It's just a giant cluster eff. I think I had someone ask me once why I was single. My response- "have you seen the dating pool?" Not being in a relationship does have it's downfalls, but to get to the relationship point with someone? So effing ridiculous having to weed through so much bs to get there. :/

    • but the question is, WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THE B.S.?

      I am pretty sure that question is why this site is here. Has anyone asked? Should I ask?

      Has anyone actually had an honest and mature debate, pointing fingers and all, to figure out who is to blame for the bad dating world? Men blaming woman and woman blaming men. They should back up their ideas with research!

      But on a serious note, just because we are fighting-debating about this, I kinda wanna bend you over a chair and...

  • When I read responses like this, about all these "hardships" about being an attractive girl I have to always remember the times I cry myself to sleep thinking how hard it must be to be kim kardashian, and how hard it is for myself to have a 12 inch penis.

    And then I remember how it always pisses me off how inconvenient it is when I trip over my bags of money every morning.

    These super hot women have it by far worse than the starving kids in africa.

    Perhaps we should all form a support group and give money to these poor poor women.

    I mean seriously!?

    Could it be that the reason why men assume women are snobby bitches looking only for money is because MOST of the hot women out there ARE that way?

    Nah, that's not it.

    And what the hell are men supposed to do, Like a woman for her personality. even though we know NOTHING about you? What are we PSYCHICS?

    Of course that's the reason why we approached you in the first place. It ceritainly isn't because we thought you looked like a pig.

    So I guess next time I walk into a club I should put on a blindfold and arbitrarily approach people?

    I sure hope this woman with a deep voice doesn't have a penis!

    I await your hateful comments.

    • i wish I could negatively rate my own answer, perhaps I could make some sort of record. Because I'm SURE all these women on here will agree with me.


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    • Arguments stupid, she has.

      Dumb she is.

    • I agree.

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