"You're a smart good looking girl, BUT..."

This a question for the guys, but girls can answer too.

My co-worker has a crush on me, and until recently, I had no idea. Before I found out about my co-worker, I had hooked up with one of my friends(it was the first and only time). I later had a party for my birthday in which my co-worker was invited, he came, and he and I pretty much talked the whole night. Starting the following morning, we were talking over text message for a good week, and he was making it very clear that he wanted to hang out with me on a more personal level. Unfortunately, he later found out about my hookup, and his entire attitude towards me changed. That's when I got the "You're a smart good looking girl, BUT" speech in which he told me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship.

We've talked since; he says that I shouldn't feel bad about what happened, here's a text I got from him the other day: "Don't be. Ur a hella cool and hella cute girl. Ur a magnet, U'll find somebody you like :)" But I like HIM!

Now maybe I'm just being bitter, but I feel like I'm being judged unfairly when I had NO CLUE how he felt about me. Of course if I'd known before, I never would have hooked up with my friend. I told my co-worker that as well. I mean one part of me understands that he is turned off, but the other side wants to tell my co-worker to f*** off, but ugh, I don't know what to do. I mean I feel bad, but honestly I don't think I did anything wrong.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't do anything wrong. It's on him if he wasn't able to tell you how he felt. It's his fault on that.

    As far as you hooking up with your friend, it may bother your co-worker because maybe he isn't so experienced, or he's never had a hookup like that. Not that you are promiscuous, because I don't know, but to some people (prudes, mostly) a hookup can signify promiscuity and he is just judging you.

    If he can't accept you because you had a hookup, you can do better than him. Move on, look for a better guy, and keep on going with your cool, cute, magnet-self. Good luck!


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What Guys Said 3

  • People are going to judge you on how their morals are, not how your morals are. Sure, you think you did nothing wrong, I agree with you. However, perhaps he views your hook up as a negative and would rather not be in a relationship with someone like that. He is entitled to his own moral code, as are you.

    If you've explained everything to him and still no budge, then you should probably just forget about him. Or, you could just be crazy aggressive towards him and make it clear that you want him.

  • Evidently he thinks you should have known. Being a co-worker, he had to take it slow and subtle, and you didn't pick up on it, so he thinks you're not sensitive or caring...

  • never date within workplace...its like shitting where you sleep.


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