Most Helpful Guy
Having a fat friend is cool. You don't have to worry about him stealing glances from women, and you can be sure that your girlfriend will never cheat with him. Fat guys are so cool, especially if you're not fat.
Imagine hanging out with your fat friend and a hot girl comes walking by. You can use him as ramp to show off your freestyle swag. It's easy once you realize that she never had her eyes on him. He was always meant to be the guy in the middle, the one who listens in and remembers the details just in case you forget while staring at her rack.
Oh, fat dudes are really cool.